twitchquotes:hey guys, ninja sub here, I am hardstuck gold and i loveeee fortnite! all the cool kids at my school play it, and i subbed to ninja because he told me to, and he has lots of viewers
hey guys, ninja sub here, I am hardstuck gold and i loveeee fortnite! all the cool kids at my school play it, and i subbed to ninja because he told me to, and he has lots of viewers haHAA
There was a bug in the toilet
twitchquotes:WHEN I SAT DOWN โฌ๏ธ TO PEE ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ THERE WAS A BUG ๐ IN THE TOILET ๐ฝ BUT I THOUGHT ๐ญ IT WAS DROWNED ๐๐ป โโโโ N WHEN I GOT UP โฌ๏ธ โผ๏ธIT WASN'T โ THERE IM SOBBING ๐ญ IS IT IN MY FUCKING ๐ BUTTHOLE ๐โญ WHERE IS ITโ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
WHEN I SAT DOWN โฌ๏ธ TO PEE ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ฆ THERE WAS A BUG ๐ IN THE TOILET ๐ฝ BUT I THOUGHT ๐ญ IT WAS DROWNED ๐๐ป โโโโ N WHEN I GOT UP โฌ๏ธ โผ๏ธIT WASN'T โ THERE ๐ IM SOBBING ๐ญ IS IT IN MY FUCKING ๐ BUTTHOLE ๐โญ WHERE IS ITโ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
I used to be a real ad
YOU TOOK MY FORTNITE CARD
YOUโRE ๐ฅ๏ธ SO SUSSY ๐๐๐๐จ๐ณ๐ต I ๐ KNOW ๐ญ YOU ๐ TOOK ๐ซ MY ๐ FORTNITE ๐ฎ CARD ๐๐ I ๐พ KNOW YOU ๐ค TOOK ๐คฏ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฒ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ GIVE ๐ช๐๐ธ ME ๐ MY ๐จ๐ฃ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฐ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ๐ YOU ๐๐ญ BETTER ๐ฐ GIVE ๐น ME ๐ฉ๐ก MY ๐ฅณ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ธ FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD ๐ I ๐น NEED ๐ฒ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ต FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD, ๐ณ NOW! ๐
YOUโRE ๐ฅ๏ธ SO SUSSY ๐๐๐๐จ๐ณ๐ต I ๐ KNOW ๐ญ YOU ๐ TOOK ๐ซ MY ๐ FORTNITE ๐ฎ CARD ๐๐ I ๐พ KNOW ๐ค YOU ๐ค TOOK ๐คฏ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฒ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ GIVE ๐ช๐๐ธ ME ๐ MY ๐จ๐ฃ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฐ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ๐ YOU ๐๐ญ BETTER ๐ฐ GIVE ๐น ME ๐ฉ๐ก MY ๐ฅณ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ธ FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD ๐ I ๐น NEED ๐ฒ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ต FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD, ๐ณ NOW! ๐
AITA For banning my sister from my wedding since she won't follow the dress code?
Hello Reddit UWU my name is fox chan nya~ ๐ฆ and this September I'm getting married (wiggles tail in excitement) ๐๐๐ท๐บ
I'm getting married next week to my alpha horse wolf Shadow Senpai ๐ด๐บ๐ฅฐ. The dress code is animal themed but my sister won't do it. She's Vagen๐ณ and thinks it's bad (cries cutely while Mozart's Symphony No. 40 in G minor plays)๐ถ๐ผโซ๐ค
(eyes turn red like demon, but not like demon) I want to not invite her ๐ก๐ค๐คฌ๐
AITA?
Hello Reddit UWU my name is fox chan nya~ ๐ฆ and this September I'm getting married (wiggles tail in excitement) ๐๐๐ท๐บ
I'm getting married next week to my alpha horse wolf Shadow Senpai ๐ด๐บ๐ฅฐ. The dress code is animal themed but my sister won't do it. She's Vagen๐ณ and thinks it's bad (cries cutely while Mozart's Symphony No. 40 in G minor plays)๐ถ๐ผโซ๐ค
(eyes turn red like demon, but not like demon) I want to not invite her ๐ก๐ค๐คฌ๐
AITA?
I hope Tahm wins xD
twitchquotes:I hope Tahm wins xD Iโm a Tahm main and heโs just so fun ! People get so trolled by the Q damage, and his voice lines are so alpha like when he talks about his tongue LOL Heโs super random but also stronger than he looks, just like Sneaky xD
I hope Tahm wins xD OSFrog Iโm a Tahm main and heโs just so fun ! OSFrog People get so trolled by the Q damage, and his voice lines are so alpha like when he talks about his tongue LOL OSFrog Heโs super random but also stronger than he looks, just like Sneaky xD OSFrog
What happened to this ad? :(
POLICE VOLIBEAR
twitchquotes: HELLO RIOT? โ๏ธ MAE HERE โ๏ธ POLICE VOLIBEAR SELECTED โ๏ธ IM TRIGGERED โ๏ธ
HotPokket HELLO RIOT? โ๏ธ HotPokket MAE HERE โ๏ธ POLICE VOLIBEAR SELECTED โ๏ธ HotPokket IM TRIGGERED โ๏ธ HotPokket
Not a weeb thing
twitchquotes:โnot a weeb thingโ. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
โnot a weeb thingโ. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
Greetings r/atheism
Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us.
That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth!
Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome.
Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???
Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us.
That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth!
Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome.
Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???
xQc is bad at RP
twitchquotes:i've been watching xQc since pog champs 3 but after watching this disgusting attempt at "RP" i cannot support this streamer anymore, i am unfollowing and sending clips to NoPixel Staff Immediately
i've been watching xQc since pog champs 3 but after watching this disgusting attempt at "RP" i cannot support this streamer anymore, i am unfollowing and sending clips to NoPixel Staff Immediately
Will you be my Quaran-TINE?
twitchquotes:Dear Streamer, please forgive my fever and the coughing of my lungs. Ever since I first entered stream I fell for the way you entertained and captivated the chat. I adored the way you practiced social distancing, responsibly purchased toilet paper, and wore a mask at all times. It is so contagious! Everything that I have witnessed has made my body ache for your pathogens. As your simping loyal petri dish, will you be my Quaran-TINE?
Dear Streamer, please forgive my fever and the coughing of my lungs. Ever since I first entered stream I fell for the way you entertained and captivated the chat. I adored the way you practiced social distancing, responsibly purchased toilet paper, and wore a mask at all times. It is so contagious! Everything that I have witnessed has made my body ache for your pathogens. As your simping loyal petri dish, will you be my Quaran-TINE?
I used to be a real ad
Do NOT meet Robert Downey Jr. in real life!
I met him in real life and told him how much of a fan I was. He kept on saying rude things to me such as "Who are you", "How did you get in my house" and "I'm calling the police." Celebrities, PLEASE respect your fans!
I met him in real life and told him how much of a fan I was. He kept on saying rude things to me such as "Who are you", "How did you get in my house" and "I'm calling the police." Celebrities, PLEASE respect your fans!
Losing to NA in viewership
twitchquotes: Losing to NA in viewership Losing to NA in content creation Losing to NA in personality NA lul i guess....
FeelsBadMan Losing to NA in viewership FeelsBadMan Losing to NA in content creation FeelsBadMan Losing to NA in personality FeelsBadMan NA lul i guess....
Itโs Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)
Itโs Morbin time!
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
Itโs time for Morbin.
## Why did I do this?
There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to:
I am very Morby
I see you being morbin-able
You morbed me first
## Is Morbius THE movie of all time?
Yes
## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct.
Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
Itโs Morbin time!
# FAQ
## What does this mean?
Itโs time for Morbin.
## Why did I do this?
There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to:
I am very Morby
I see you being morbin-able
You morbed me first
## Is Morbius THE movie of all time?
Yes
## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception.
## How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct.
Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
THATS A YEP MOMENT
twitchquotes:THATS A "YEP" MOMENT ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT ๐ฆ
THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐ฆ THATS A "YEP" MOMENT LUL ๐ฆ
โโI've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor
twitchquotes:โโI've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes. His spray control is otherworldly, his crosshair erratically jolting across the screen as his wrist muscles perfectly predict the next bullet's location. Time literally stops as he peeks, sunlight curving as his trigger finger impacts his left mouse button, sending enemies to a digital shadow realm before they even know what happened. He is un-killable. He is undefeatable. This "man" is the epitome of eternal.
โโI've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes. His spray control is otherworldly, his crosshair erratically jolting across the screen as his wrist muscles perfectly predict the next bullet's location. Time literally stops as he peeks, sunlight curving as his trigger finger impacts his left mouse button, sending enemies to a digital shadow realm before they even know what happened. He is un-killable. He is undefeatable. This "man" is the epitome of eternal.
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How to kill a geologist
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
Iโd brandish my obsidian knife at them and theyโd be compelled to approach. โThatโs very cool,โ theyโd say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. Theyโd shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. โBut as it is volcanic glass, itโs very fragile, you see, and isnโt well-suited for use as a weapโโ and then Iโd hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
Iโd brandish my obsidian knife at them and theyโd be compelled to approach. โThatโs very cool,โ theyโd say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. Theyโd shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. โBut as it is volcanic glass, itโs very fragile, you see, and isnโt well-suited for use as a weapโโ and then Iโd hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
InvaderVie sub shaming
twitchquotes:It doesn't really matter how much money you make, or how much money you have ๐ That's really the thing because I'm not asking you large financial contribution! 20$ is quite alot of money. A sub is 5 dollars! It doesn't matter how broke you are ๐ If you have time to watch Twitch, you have 10$, if you don't, you should be working and earning money. Or you're saying you're so irresponsable with your money you won't support the entertainment you enjoy?! ๐
It doesn't really matter how much money you make, or how much money you have ๐ That's really the thing because I'm not asking you large financial contribution! 20$ is quite alot of money. A sub is 5 dollars! It doesn't matter how broke you are ๐ If you have time to watch Twitch, you have 10$, if you don't, you should be working and earning money. Or you're saying you're so irresponsable with your money you won't support the entertainment you enjoy?! ๐
Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone 2
twitchquotes:Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me.
Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me. :(
Metal isn't so great? Are you kidding me?
twitchquotes:Metal isn't so great? Are you kidding me? metal requires more talent than any other genre of music. And moonmoon_ow hates it? Thats ridiculous, metal is the best unlike stupid normie music. Moonmoon_ow shouldn't do this stupid restriction when many people (including me btw) love the music. metal is just too complex and cerebral for the masses to consume. dont feel bad. you are just all idiots.12 btw
Metal isn't so great? Are you kidding me? metal requires more talent than any other genre of music. And moonmoon_ow hates it? Thats ridiculous, metal is the best unlike stupid normie music. Moonmoon_ow shouldn't do this stupid restriction when many people (including me btw) love the music. metal is just too complex and cerebral for the masses to consume. dont feel bad. you are just all idiots.12 btw haHAA
I used to be a real ad
I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday
Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.