[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Motherโ€™s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming Iโ€™ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didnโ€™t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

No wonder Bobertxle got kicked from a shitty team CLG

twitchquotes: how is this funny, hes using yogurt, a bronze champion with the lowest win rate, picking ugone is forcing ur team to lose because he sucks, srs learn to play actual adcs instead of ugo, no wonder bobertxle got kicked from a shitty team clg because he cant play actual abcs๏ปฟ
twitch chat
October 2014
ROBERTxLEE

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

Auto Chess Tanner

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Reckful" now nerd? Haha whats up rook-4, it's Tanner from DotA Underlords. Remember me? Me and the guys used to stop your win streak in the early rounds. Sorry you were just rolling a lot of pairs lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Katarina the girl you needed for assassin synergy? Yeah sheโ€™s in my imperial comp now. I have over 2 3 stars by round 3-5 and use an epic avatar. I guess some things never change huh 8ht place? Nice catching up lol.
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful

Tanner from High School

Teamfight Tactics

Roe v. Wade Emoji Pasta

HEY ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ˜ฉ there comrade ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ชcummy! the ๐Ÿ‘น supreme ๐Ÿ† cock๐Ÿ› has ๐Ÿ—ณvoted to strike ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš–๏ธโŒ›๏ธdown the ๐ŸŒˆ sexy ๐Ÿคง๐Ÿคฐ๐Ÿปroe v. wade decision ๐Ÿ˜according ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿฆถ๐Ÿปto a opinion ๐Ÿ–Šwrittenโœ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ธ by daddy ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™ˆ sammy ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ aLITo. ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ’จ the opinion is a ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐ŸŒ FULL THROATED ๐Ÿ“ฒโค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅGIRTHY ๐Ÿ† contraDICKtion ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ‘ of the 1973 ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘Ždecision that ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘Œ guaranteed federal ๐Ÿ˜ค cocks-titutuinal ๐Ÿ˜ณ protection ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’„of abortion rights!!! โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿซกeveryone who ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿ’ฆ woke remember ๐Ÿ™‹โœŠ๐Ÿป๐Ÿค” to fund ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿฅต planned parenthood and ๐ŸŒช๐Ÿ‘ผ donate to ๐Ÿง‘๐Ÿผโ€๐Ÿผ๐Ÿค‘abortion funds! get yo ๐Ÿ“ธuturuses ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ‘ turnt you ๐Ÿ’ƒwhore! ๐ŸŒญevery whore knows ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿผthat everyone ๐Ÿ”œshould have ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ๐Ÿฅaccess to safe ๐Ÿ™ ๐ŸŒŽabortions โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜ if they choose ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘€ to have one. ๐Ÿ‘‘๐Ÿ‘นsend to ten ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ™of your closest ๐Ÿšฑ๐Ÿ…พ๏ธWHORES to secure abortion ๐Ÿ“ซ๐Ÿคrights in ameriCUM ๐Ÿคค๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธif you get five โœ‹ back abortion ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ’‹rights will be codified ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš–๏ธ๐Ÿคคin law ๐Ÿ“ธ๐Ÿ‘ 
May 2022

Emoji Pasta

Politics

Masculinity is now illegal

As of this morning ๐ŸŒ„, masculinity ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ‘€ is NO ๐ŸšซโŒ LONGER ๐Ÿ“ LEGAL ๐ŸŒโš–. If you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ are masculine ๐Ÿ‘ด, please ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™‡โ€โ™‚๏ธ report ๐Ÿ“„ to your ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ nearest ๐Ÿ’ž Femboy ๐Ÿ‘—๐Ÿ’โ€โ™‚๏ธ Education ๐ŸŽ“ Center ๐Ÿขโœˆ, clean-shaven and wearing ๐Ÿ‘•๐Ÿ‘–๐Ÿ‘ž thigh-high socks ๐Ÿงฆ. Those who fail ๐Ÿšซ to follow ๐Ÿ‘ฃ these orders ๐Ÿ“‘๐ŸŽ WILL BE CANCELLED โŒ๐Ÿšท๐Ÿ˜ก.
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing