[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
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May 2020
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Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020

monkaW

⣠⠴⠖⠒⠚⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⠒⠲⢤⡀⢀⡀⠤⠐⠒⠐⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠶⢮⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣙⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣹⣷⣦⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣯⣨⣏⣹⠃⠀⠀⠀⡘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢏⢈⣧⠝⠀ ⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⢀⡤⠞⢳⡤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡤ ⢦⣍⡛⠒⠶⠤⢤⣤⣤⠶⠶⣛⣡⠀⣰⠟⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⢀⣴ ⠀⠉⠛⠛⠓⠒⠶⠶⠖⠛⢛⣋⡵⠛⠉⠀⠀⠢⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠛⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠾⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣶⠶⠶⠶⠟⠛⣇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠥⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻ ⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡛⠛⠛⠹⠿⠻⠶⢶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⢀⣀⣀⡀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⡶⠿ ⣶⣶⣦⣤⣴⣄⣀⡨⠀⡁⠈⠉⠉⠛⠻⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠋⠉⢈⣨⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠛⠳⢷⠶⣾⣯⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⡾⣧⣞⠛⣻⠁ ⠿⠿⠷⠶⢿⣦⣤⣦⣰⣄⣄⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣰⣼⠟⠀
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December 2019

Pepe

Wrench

⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣦ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠈⠉⢙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠉⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠋⢀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣗⠀⣿⣿⠗⠀⣠⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉
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January 2020

In a forest in Canada a young boy named Kripp was born

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) In a forest in Canada a young boy named Kripp was born. Every day he would dream of a better life, one with Spreadsheets and all the OJ he could drink. One day a magical Succubus came and whisked him away, she promised him glory, cats and best of all... Boobs. Now Kripp is dead. The End (◕‿◕✿)
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January 2015
Kripp

Bonjourno my name es Luigi

twitchquotes: Bonjourno my name es Luigi and i am from italiano and i own a restaurant called Dongerino where we make the best copy pasterino and copy pizzarino in the whole world so if you go to italiano plis come visit us you wont be disapointino. Sry for bad americano and plis no coperino pasta alfredo ravioli ravili give me the formuoli
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December 2014
imaqtpie
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