[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
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Guys please be careful before posting

twitchquotes: Guys please be careful before posting, I see some messages posted multiple times by mistake this is actually very annoying and cringe, read chat first to make sure your message wasn't already posted :D
twitch chat
February 2020

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022

Going face was the correct play

twitchquotes: Breaking News: Popular vegan salt miner kripparian was found dead this morning after both of this meat starved dogs ate his face while he was sleeping. Officials are saying that circumstances lead them to believe that "going face was the correct play". More at 11
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

cannabis addiction

twitchquotes: iam a 7 year old boy with a cannabis addiction, iam in rehab and i only have lol streams for entertainment, i wish to be the best mordekaiser in ze world, can u teach me bjerg? This is my story dont copy paste plz
twitch chat
July 2014
Bjergsen

I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT

Oh for the love of God. Enough with the MORBIUS. What’s even the joke???? “Hahahaha hey guys the movie sucks but I pretend it’s good”???? THATS NOT EVEN A FUCKING JOKE. Holy shit my dick is going to fall out of its foreskin if I have to hear, “hehe it’s morbin time” ONE MORE TIME. Not only is it NOT funny, IT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. THE POWER RANGERS HAVENT BEEN RELEVANT IN DECADES. MORBIUS SUCKS THE MOVIE IS COMPLETE TRASH AND IM ASHAMED TO HAVE SPENT MONEY ON IT. You know…. I never would have seen the movie without all of these “memes”(unfunny shitposts). I would have been a MUCH HAPPIER PERSON. So fuck your “MORBIUS” your “mighty morbin more morbs morbidly MORBIUS BULLSHIT” NO ONE CARES, YOU ARENT FUNNY. Does not a singular human being have any independent thought anymore???? “Morb morb morb morb” you’re like a BUNCH OF SEAGULLS. SEA GULLS. What the FUCK does “morbin” even mean????? ITS NOT A WORD. ITS JUST GOBBLE GOOP. I feel like I am the last truly sentient human being on earth. IM BEING DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. TAKE YOUR MORBIUS BULLSHIT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, AND GO OUTSIDE. Maybe if you went outside you could get “morb” bitches on your dick??!!! YOU LIKE THAT, YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE REDUCED ME INTO. I am a shell of a man and all of you collectively are to blame.This meme has spread like a debilitating illness AND I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT. THE FALL OF WESTERN SOCIETY IS HERE AND THIS COMPLETE UNFUNNY DRIBBLE OF A MEME IS PART OF THE PROBLEM. WHAT THE FUCK DOES “gETtiNg MoRBed” EVEN MEAN. it makes ZERO SENSE. ITS JUST GIBBERISH. FUCKING GIBB ER ISH. ITS NOT FUNNY. Saying “morb” LIKE ITS ITS OWN PUNCHLINE IS NOT COMEDY. IT IS COMEDIC AND CULTURAL DEGRADATION. Are we really so stunted as a generation that even the mention of any word that starts with m-o-r-b is FUNNY??? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE. Is it funny because it isn’t funny because praising something bad is now good??????? HOW MANY LAYERS OF IRONY DO WE NEED. HOW FAR DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO. This website has stripped me of EVERY LAST BRAINCELL. GOING ON REDDIT FEELS LIKE IM GETTING A SUPER HERO INDUCED LOBOTOMY. I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT. I know I’m just going to get FLOODED WITH “get morbed, this guy got morbed, what morb does to a man” HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHQHQHAHAHAHAHAHWHHSHWBSQIISHWINSIQKSBDD SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY AGAGAGGAGHHHHHHHHH
July 2022

Morbius

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