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(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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"Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
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Kripp
I hate gaming laptops
Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
Ban Hammer
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢉⣴⣶⣌⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢃⣴⣿⣇⡙⢿⣷⣄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣴⣿⣿⣄⠨⣍⡀⠙⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡿⢉⣴⣿⣿⡈⣉⠛⢷⣌⣻⣿⠟⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⢃⣴⠿⢋⣉⠻⢧⡈⢴⣦⣾⠟⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⡘⢿⣷⣌⠁⣶⢌⣿⣾⠟⢡⣶⣌⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣷⣦⠙⢿⣷⣤⣾⠟⣡⣶⣦⠙⢿⣷⣌⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣆⣉⣉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡙⢿⣷⣄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡙⢿⣷⣌⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠙⢿⣷⣌⠹⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡙⢁⣴⣦⠙
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⠛⢋⣴
Monster Amogus Crewmate With Tongue
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⢿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⡗⠲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠴⠯⠭⣉⠙⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠟⠉⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⡇⡘⠓⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢯⣀⠀⠀⣈⠆⢹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢠⡾⠋⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡞⢠⣿⣢⣌⣳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠏⠉⡉⠁⠀⣸⢹⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⢁⡇⢸⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣧⠤⠒⡎⢀⣠⠴⠯⣞⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⡎⣰⣇⠀⠙⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠓⠒⠦⣄⠙⠳⣄⠀⠀
⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣶⣶⣶⠿⠋⠀⢠⠀⡿⠛⣛⣿⠿⣿⡖⠒⠒⠲⠦⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠑⠀⠘⢦⠀
⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⢃⡜⠙⠾⡋⠀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠶⣦⣿⣿⣾⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣟⡆⠀⠘⣧
⠀⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⢸⡶⢦⣴⠿⠆⠶⣿⡛⢿⡖⠦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠧⠄⣀⣀⠀⣀⣼⡟⠁⠀⠀⣿
⠀⠈⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⢠⠟⠦⡀⠙⠳⠤⣀⠈⠛⠾⣷⡀⢧⡜⠛⢷⢦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿
⠀⠀⠀⢹⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⣼⣷⣶⡿⣶⠀⠀⢀⣷⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⠾⣏⠛⠻⣶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⡿
⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠉⠛⠶⢤⣄⣀⢀⡇⣼⣋⠭⣿⢃⠙⡟⢉⣿⠀⢳⡀⢰⣿⠉⢿⠇⠀⣰⠙⣆⠀⠘⣮⠉⠛⠻⠶⢶⣶⣶⣾⠿⠟⠋⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣦⣄⠀⠀⣀⢀⠝⢙⣧⣌⡉⠛⠛⠿⠴⠿⠿⠷⠆⣀⣷⣼⣇⣆⡈⣧⣴⣿⣃⣘⣆⠀⢸⠀⣠⠖⠊⠉⢱⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⠷⠋⢠⠞⣿⠁⠙⢦⡼⠛⠉⠑⠒⣶⢰⡖⠲⠴⠠⠔⠫⢭⡄⠀⣠⣠⡌⣷⢸⡀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠻⠼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣶⣮⡥⠔⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⢀⡇⠀⠻⣿⢸⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣧⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠁⠀⠀⢻⢸⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⣀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠘⠦⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠉⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣼⠇⠀⠘⣧⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Among Us / Amogus
Please use the code Tempo to save 3% off...
twitchquotes:
Andrey Yanuk otherwise known as Reynad has passed away this Saturday's afternoon. He was ambushed by a group of dongers in an alley, and stabbed with a kniferino made out of a salt shaker. His last words were "please use the code "Tempo" to save 3% off the funeral costs and bury me in my tempostorm tshirt". Rest in peace pepperoni cappuccino pistachio bro. You shall be missed. Please no copy pasterino cappuccino
Andrey Yanuk otherwise known as Reynad has passed away this Saturday's afternoon. He was ambushed by a group of dongers in an alley, and stabbed with a kniferino made out of a salt shaker. His last words were "please use the code "Tempo" to save 3% off the funeral costs and bury me in my tempostorm tshirt". Rest in peace pepperoni cappuccino pistachio bro. You shall be missed. Please no copy pasterino cappuccino
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Reynad