Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS
twitchquotes:
Greetings Kripp, it is I, John "D" Dos, inventor of the DDOS. It has come to my attention that children are using my invention for malicious reasons. Please send me your address, phone number, credit card and social security numbers so I can help you fix this problem.
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Kripp
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes
twitchquotes:
Kripp puts his hands on my hips and looks into my eyes. His face comes closer as he plants his wet lips onto mine. We are locked together in a beautiful display of love. Then I wake up. I look at Kripp's stream. He is playing Tavern Brawl. Now I remember why I fell asl... 
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Kripp
Classic
Hearthstone
Gorgeous tone of gray
twitchquotes:
GORGEOUS TONE OF GRAY โ 
TIMELESS DESIGN โ THE ORIGINAL KING OF THE EMOTES โ LOTS OF ADORABLE VERSIONS โ 
MUST BE โ
TIMELESS DESIGN โ THE ORIGINAL KING OF THE EMOTES โ LOTS OF ADORABLE VERSIONS โ MUST BE โ
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Reynad
Kripp's older videos
twitchquotes:
Kripp, I was on your channel earlier and one of your older videos caught my eye. It was you and Krippi beating inferno hardcore Diablo. Now that was intense. Over 15 minutes of pure battle and you didnt let up for a second. Now I have to ask, how did you fall from grace? All these intense world firsts under your belt and now you just play a childrens card game and peddle mobile games. Its like seeing a hero from your childhood being stuck in a retirement home.
twitch chat
Kripp
Transcript of Will Smith and his wife
Jada: Are you going to let him speak about me like that?
Will: What, it was funny, you were terrible in G.I. Jane
J: I wasn't in G.I. Jane, Will
W: Oh, then why did he say that?
J: It was a joke about my hair!!
W: Girl, you ain't got no hair
J: THATS THE POINT WILL!!
W: Ohh. ohhhh. OH Hell No!!