[Copypasta] I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Please refrain from likening us to plebeians

twitchquotes: Twitch streamers and their subscribers define us (not subscribed audience) as members of a lower social class, plebs as they call it. I find it inappropriate to compare us with ancient Rome's lowest class as there is nothing ignominious to being a member of the proletariat. Also their living standards were significantly inferior to ours (e.g. health, education) so the comparison is unsound. In the future, please refrain from likening us to plebeians because descriminating due to economic and social status like that is reprehensible in our modern society.
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November 2018

Classic

plebs vs subs

Chat, don't salt the slug

twitchquotes: เผผ อ’ ฬถ อ’เผฝ CHAT, DON'T SALT THE SLUG. เผผ อ’ ฬถ อ’เผฝ
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January 2015
Reynad

Bikini cleavage

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June 2021

NSFW

Faceful Void

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘ โ–โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
June 2015

Dota 2

Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks ๐Ÿ“Š๐Ÿ“ go up ๐Ÿ“ˆ๐Ÿ’ธ, my dick goes too ๐Ÿ†โฌ†๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ. Bullish ๐Ÿ‚ market ๐Ÿฌ makes me hard ๐Ÿฆด๐Ÿ’ฆ. All the countries ๐Ÿณ๏ธ๐Ÿด๐Ÿดโ€โ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ๐Ÿšฉ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ณ try to recover ๐Ÿ”„ from corona ๐Ÿฆ  so the money ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ธ flows ๐ŸŒฌ into my pocket ๐Ÿ’ณ. Soon ๐Ÿ”œ there will be a crash ๐Ÿ“‰๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜– and the bears ๐Ÿป will crawl ๐Ÿšผ out of their holes ๐Ÿ•ณ. Then they cut off my greedy dick โœ‚๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿฉธ if I donโ€™t โŒ eat โ€™em out ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ˜ธ. I must turn into a bear ๐Ÿ‚โžก๏ธ๐Ÿป and make ๐ŸคŒ๐Ÿผ more money ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ธ and eat some honey ๐Ÿป๐Ÿฏ. When Iโ€™m done โœ… Iโ€™ll throw a party ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿท๐Ÿพ and eat your ass ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘.
October 2021

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