Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
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We can't blame market
To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
WallStreetBets
Dear Twitch Partners, Our community members are always our priority
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Dear π Twitch Partners π€ , Our 
community members πͺ are always βοΈ our priority π. We received π₯ some reports β describing β¨οΈ the discomfort βΉοΈ some of our members π£οΈ felt after a Twitch Rivals π€Ό participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," πΆ both emotes are often β²οΈ used in toxic π contexts. Please π refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead π. Best regards π, Twitch Team π
community members πͺ are always βοΈ our priority π. We received π₯ some reports β describing β¨οΈ the discomfort βΉοΈ some of our members π£οΈ felt after a Twitch Rivals π€Ό participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," πΆ both emotes are often β²οΈ used in toxic π contexts. Please π refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead π. Best regards π, Twitch Team π
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Mutant Seagull
AITA for invading Ukraine?
Using my alt account because of personal reasons. So anyway, I[69M(literally)] am a high government official of a country with a strong military. Anyway, I am clinically diagnosed with Invasiontia[for anyone who doesn't know it's meaning, it basically means my mind forces me to invade countries, very few people are diagnosed with it(like Adolf Hitler), so i guess it makes me quirky uwu], so i really can't be the one to blame.
I do what i like, usually, but people often judge me for living my life on my own terms. My distant relative, who has a history of playing fortnite and being antivax, being a furry, pedophile, and being a baby yoda hater called me today and abused me verbally, and told me what i was doing was wrong. I was heartbroken by their words. Not only that, Emily[She/They 13 diagnosed with 255 mental illnesses] made a really mean tweet against me today. She compared me to Hitler (I know Hitler and I have the same mental illness, but it doesn't mean I am as much of an asshole like he is, right?).
All this negativity is severely affecting my mental health(i come from a country where mental health isn't given a lot of importance and also my country isn't very supportive of gay people), and i am now contemplating suicide by shooting myself in the head.
Everyone thinks i am an asshole, what do you think reddit? AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
Russian Ukrainian War
I sexually Identify as tyler1
twitchquotes:
I sexually identify as tyler1. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of running it down mid and typing "hehe xd" to boosted animals. People say to me that a beta becoming an alpha god is impossible and that Iβm fucking retarded, but I donβt care, Iβm an alpha. Iβm having an engineer install a McChicken dispenser and an Oreo McFlury maker in my room. From now on I want you guys to call me βtyler1β and respect my right to catch axes and flame needlessly. If you canβt accept me youβre an dravenphobe and need to check your alpha privilege. hehe xd.
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Tyler1