[Copypasta] I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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My wife told me to talk dirty to her

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut. She said โ€œdirtier!โ€ So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is. She said โ€œdirtier!โ€ So I said โ€œIโ€™m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. Iโ€™m gonna put it in long and deep. Iโ€™m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.โ€ She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think weโ€™re getting a divorce.
April 2021

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Which KogMaw playstyle is better?

twitchquotes: Imaqtpie, I've noticed in Korea they tend to use a mix of magic and physical damage on Kog Maw. Meanwhile you seem to be using mostly true damage. Which playstyle is better?
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December 2017
imaqtpie

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When Kripp is eat I pretend he is eat me

twitchquotes: When Kripp is eat I pretend he is eat me. I go down Kripp wet Kripp throat and am in warm Kripp stomach. Then I go deeper into the Kripp. I am made into Kripp gold. The Kripp sits on toilet and frees me. I am sad I am no longer Kripp food. Then Kripp eats me again.
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June 2015
Kripp

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Squid

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘(โ—)โ–’โ–’(โ—)โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–Œโ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
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November 2014

Among Us In Real Life Song Lyrics (Emojipasta)

AMONG ๐Ÿ˜ณ US ๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธ IN ๐Ÿ˜ฑ REAL ๐Ÿ˜ต LIFE ๐Ÿ’ฉ SUS ๐Ÿ“ฎ SUS AMONG ๐Ÿ˜ณ US ๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธ IN ๐Ÿ˜ฑ REAL ๐Ÿ˜ต LIFE ๐Ÿ’ฉ SUS ๐Ÿ“ฎ SUS PLAYING ๐Ÿˆ AMONG ๐Ÿ’€ US ๐Ÿ˜ก IN ๐Ÿค— REAL ๐Ÿค  LIFE SPACESHIP ๐Ÿš€ WITH ๐Ÿ‘พ MY ๐Ÿ‘… CREW GOTTA ๐Ÿฅท๐Ÿฟ SPLIT ๐Ÿ˜š UP ๐Ÿคก SPREAD โ‰๏ธ OUT ๐Ÿ“ฎCUZ ๐Ÿ˜ƒ WE ๐Ÿ˜‹ ALL ๐Ÿ˜ GOT ๐Ÿ˜ฏ TASKS ๐Ÿ‘ป TO ๐Ÿ‘ฝ DO GOTTA ๐Ÿ‘ฟ FIND ๐Ÿ‘บ THE ๐Ÿคง IMPOSTER ๐Ÿคซ AS ๐Ÿ‘€ THEY ๐Ÿ›– TRY ๐Ÿ—ฟ TO ๐Ÿ›ถ SA๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธOTAGE WHO ๐Ÿ“ฎCAN ๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธ WE ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท TRUST ๐Ÿ˜‚ IN ๐Ÿคช THIS ๐Ÿคฏ AMONG ๐Ÿคญ US ๐Ÿคฃ ENTOURAGE.
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Among Us / Amogus

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