Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
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A New Toucan Has Arrived
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A navy seal trained in gorilla warfare
twitchquotes:
Please do not copy and paste this copypasta. It is my original copypasta and is protected by copyright law. If I see anyone pasting my intellectual property without permission, a navy seal trained in gorilla warfare will smite you.
twitch chat
Purify is a great card
twitchquotes:
Hey guys blizzard here and we just wanted to say purify is a great card if you combo it with ancient watcher you spend 2 cards to get a 4 mana 4/5! think of all that value... If you want even more value you can try it with zombie chow! its a 3 mana 2/3!!!! Finally we just wanted to say we thought it would be better as a rare but we realized priest is not the best in arena so we made it common so almost all priests will have it!...
twitch chat
PlayHearthstone
Hearthstone
Navy Seal Copypasta in uwu
What t-t-the fuck did you just fucking s-say about me, you little bitch!? I'll have you knyow I gwaduated t-top of my cwass in t-t-the Navy Seaws, and I've been invowved in nyumewous secwet raids on Aw-Quaeda, and I have uvw 300 confirmed k-kiwws. I am twainyed in gorilla wawfawe and I'm t-t-the t-top snyiper in t-t-the entiwe US armed forces. You awe n-nyothing t-to me but just anyothew tawget. I wiww wipe you t-t-the fuck out with pwecision t-t-the wikes of which has nyevew been seen befowe on this Eawth, mawk my fucking words. You think you c-can get away with saying that shit t-to me uvw t-t-the I-Intewnyet?!?1 Think again, fuckew. As w-w-we speak I am contacting my secwet nyetwork of spies acwoss t-t-the USA and youw IP is b-being twaced right nyow so you better pwepawe fow t-t-the stowm, maggot. T-The stowm that wipes out t-t-the pathetic little thing you caww youw life. Y-You'we fucking dead, kid. I c-can be anywhewe, anytime, and I c-can k-kiww you in uvw seven hundwed w-ways, and t-t-that's just with my bawe hands. N-Nyot only am I extensivewy twainyed in unyawmed combat, but I have access t-to t-t-the entiwe awsenyaw of t-t-the Unyited States M-Marinye Cowps and I wiww use i-it t-to its fuww extent t-to wipe youw misewabwe a-ass off t-t-the face of t-t-the continyent, you little shit. If only you could have k-knyown what unhowy retribution youw little "clever" comment was about t-to bring d-d-down upon y-you, maybe you w-wouwd have h-hewd youw fucking tongue. But you couwdn't, you didn't, and nyow you're paying t-t-the pwice, you g-goddamn i-idiot. I wiww shit fury all uvw you and you wiww dwown in i-it. Y-You'we fucking dead, kiddo.
Navy Seal
Hello Mr. Morosan! This is the salt truck driver
twitchquotes:
ΰΌΌ Ν β’ ΩΝ β’ ΰΌ½ Κα΄ΚΚα΄ α΄Κ. α΄α΄Κα΄sα΄Ι΄! α΄ΚΙͺs Ιͺs α΄Κα΄ sα΄Κα΄-α΄Κα΄α΄α΄-α΄
ΚΙͺα΄ α΄Κ. Ιͺ'α΄ Κα΄Κα΄ α΄α΄ α΄
α΄ΚΙͺα΄ α΄Κ Κα΄α΄Κ α΄Κα΄
α΄Κ α΄κ° 69 α΄α΄Ι΄s α΄κ° α΄©α΄Κα΄ sα΄Κα΄ κ°Κα΄α΄ α΄Κα΄ κ°α΄α΄α΄α΄s sα΄Κα΄α΄ΙͺΙ΄α΄ "ΓΌΚα΄Κα΄Γ€α΄α΄Ι΄α΄α΄α΄α΄’Ι΄" ΙͺΙ΄ α΄Κα΄ α΄Κα΄©s. Ιͺκ° Κα΄α΄'α΄
ΚΙͺα΄α΄ α΄α΄ α΄Κα΄
α΄Κ α΄α΄Κα΄ sα΄Κα΄, Κα΄α΄ α΄α΄ α΄Ι΄α΄α΄‘! Ι’α΄α΄α΄
ΚΚα΄ sΙͺΚ! ΰΌΌ Ν β’ ΩΝ β’ ΰΌ½
twitch chat
Kripp