Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Flanders Diddly Spamly Doodly
ββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββDIDDLYββββββββββββ
βββββββββSPAMLYβββββββββββ
ββββββββββDOODLYβββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββ
Classic
We recommend that you use the "suggested card" feature
twitchquotes:
Greetings, Kripparrian. This is an automated message from Blizzardβ’ Entertianment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstone AI has flagged your account due to an unusal number of arena losses. We recommend that you use the "suggested card" feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzardβ’ Team.
twitch chat
Kripp
swenpai pweasey weasy cwan i bwe punished?
o-o-owo swenpai pweasey weasy cwan i bwe punished? (β’Οβ’) pwease sway wes im hworny ;3 i want-want ywou to gwo h-hard and f-f-f-f-f-fast....ah~ >/////< oh sweet mwother owf onii-chan.....AH~ it hwurts swenpai 
but i wove it ;3
but i wove it ;3
UwU
NSFW
Fallen is a tactical geniu
twitchquotes:
Fallen is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic of "going B and then lose vs eco. He also has a second little known tactic of "Going A and then throw a 1v4" What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL for sure.
twitch chat
gafallen
CSGO
It's pride month,Coming out as impostersexual.
It's pride month and I a 14 year old white girl have decided that I'm sexually attracted to among us,I cannot hold my feelings for the sussy imposter anymore.
SUS SUS SUS,there I came,and it was there that I knew,it was the second cuming of Jesus Christ.