Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
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YOU TOOK MY FORTNITE CARD
YOUโRE ๐ฅ๏ธ SO SUSSY ๐๐๐๐จ๐ณ๐ต I ๐ KNOW ๐ญ YOU ๐ TOOK ๐ซ MY ๐ FORTNITE ๐ฎ CARD ๐๐ I ๐พ KNOW 
YOU ๐ค TOOK ๐คฏ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฒ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ GIVE ๐ช๐๐ธ ME ๐ MY ๐จ๐ฃ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฐ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ๐ YOU ๐๐ญ BETTER ๐ฐ GIVE ๐น ME ๐ฉ๐ก MY ๐ฅณ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ธ FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD ๐ I ๐น NEED ๐ฒ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ต FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD, ๐ณ NOW! ๐
YOU ๐ค TOOK ๐คฏ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฒ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ GIVE ๐ช๐๐ธ ME ๐ MY ๐จ๐ฃ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ฐ FORTNITE ๐ฉ CARD ๐ณ๐ YOU ๐๐ญ BETTER ๐ฐ GIVE ๐น ME ๐ฉ๐ก MY ๐ฅณ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ธ FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD ๐ I ๐น NEED ๐ฒ MY ๐ 19 โ DOLLAR ๐ต FORTNITE ๐๐ฎ CARD, ๐ณ NOW! ๐
Fortnite
Coca Cola shortage
twitchquotes:
THIS JUST IN: Stores across the world are reporting a major shortage of 'store brand Cola'. Sources indicate that over 20 million bottles were sold within minutes of an endorsement by some dirty Romanian living in Athens.
twitch chat
Kripp
How will this affect my propain?
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Open the Waygate?
twitchquotes:
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Open the Waygate? I thought not. Itโs not a story the f2p btw would tell you. Itโs a P2W legendary. Open the Waygate was a Quest from Journey to UnโGoro, so powerful and so astounding it could use Time Warp to influence the end turn button to create another turnโฆ It had such a knowledge of the spaghetti code that it could even keep the worthy opponents it faced from having a turn. The spaghetti code is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be imbalanced. It became so powerfulโฆ the only thing it was afraid of was losing its power, which eventually, of course, it did. Unfortunately, it drew every card from its deck, then its worthy opponent set it to one health. Ironic. It could stop others from drawling, but not itself.
twitch chat
Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
Hearthstone
Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell
Being a Karen is low key awesome as hell. You get to have sweet ass chunky highlights and drive a big hideous SUV you secretly eat 3 donuts a day in and dont report to weight watchers. You can go to your jazzersize class absolutely fucked up on airplane bottles of rum and a perc you got from your friend who has back issues. Call your daughter a whore in front of her friends when she's 12 then pretend not to remember it when she brings it up deeply traumatized in her 20s. Fucking boss bitch shit straight up. Just blasting "dude looks like a lady" max volume flooring it to a target to cause a ruckus returning a bath mat. Not giving a single shit if its problematic. You like it that way. Making your dumbass kids apologize to YOU when you say racist shit. Getting zooted on your strawberry nosed husbands blood pressure meds. Hell yes queen fucking slay.