[Copypasta] I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
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Guys I am worried after what my homie did

twitchquotes: Guys I am worried after what my homie did. Me and my homie were bored one day so we got together and always said no homo. We adopted 2 kids and have spent 1 year together and we are engaged and getting married. So one day I am feeling horny and I go to my homie and we fuck, it's good, and I said no homo. 6 minutes in I notice his socks aren't on and then it hits me, he didn't say no homo I am shocked. I asked him to say no homo but he ignored me. Is he gay? Am I gay? How do I tell the kids that?
twitch chat
April 2020

KappaPride

moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity

twitchquotes: Don't get it twisted chat. moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity or for a better emote or anything. It was a selfish desire to personally absolve the broadcaster of his poor use of ultimate abilities. He wants to forget, but this we cannot allow. Every McCree Q to respawn, we moon2LULT. Every Winston ult jumping off the edge, we moon2LULT. Every time he presses Q at 20 HP and dies instantly, we moon2LULT. You must be vigilant, vertical scrolling communication room. moon2LULT
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

Hating on Kripp's fistbump sub greetings

twitchquotes: krippFist *** 'fistbump' emotes? Are you shitting me? You have become everything you ridiculed in the past.Every time you reach out your hand to your webcam and lower your voice there is a strong cringe feeling overflowing me like a zoo lock overflows the board. I really didn't care for all the hate you got before for streaming HS all the time since I quite enjoy the game myself. But this retarded crap is too much for me to bare. Goodbye Octavian we had a good run, will keep checking the sub to see if you repented from your sellout ways and returned to the true Kripp self. See you. krippFist
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

sellout

Pizza anytime

twitchquotes: แ••( แ› )แ•— แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€แด€แด€แด€. แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€ ษชษด แด›สœแด‡ แดแดส€ษดษชษดษข แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€ ษชษด แด›สœแด‡ แด‡แด แด‡ษดษชษดษข แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€ แด€แด› sแดœแด˜แด˜แด‡ส€แด›ษชแดแด‡. แดกสœแด‡ษด แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€s แดษด แด€ ส™แด€ษขแด‡สŸ, สแดแดœ แด„แด€ษด แด‡แด€แด› แด˜ษชแดขแดขแด€ แด€ษดสแด›ษชแดแด‡ แ••( แ› )แ•—
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

boatyVV

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ”€ โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–›โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–“โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–›โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2018
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