Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I(21M) am convinced that my(20F) wife's pet rabbit thinks my wife is his mate, it is ruining our marriage
It all started when I was dating my wife. I met her four years ago and we have been dating all 4 years. She has had the rabbit since before I met her.
The little bastard is old and saggy and partially blind. Some parts of his body is missing patches of fur because he pulls it out to make a nest for himself and my wife.
When we met the rabbit was not a major issue. It would scratch and bite at me but my wife assured me he was just nervous to have another person in her apartment as my wife and the rabbit lived alone since my wife was 18.
We have been married one year now and the rabbit is wreaking havoc on our marriage but my wife refuses to do anything because to her the rabbit is her baby and she loves it more than anything.
When I first moved in the rabbit did not do much to me or us other than the previously mentioned bites and scratches but he shows my wife too much affection for just a owner.
We will be doing anything and she will have the rabbit with her on top of her chest on her breasts licking them and her face. She will not put it down at all whenever she is home with it. We eat dinner, he is there, she goes to the bathroom, he comes with, she is showering? He waits outside for her, watching her nude in the shower. Wife does not even let me in the bathroom with her.
It has gone to the point where whenever I show my wife affection the rabbit seeks revenge on me. Sometimes not immediately but at times he does attack me on the spot when I kiss my wife. Sometimes I find little tiny brown balls, his shit in my closet.
Another thing is that she lets the little shit roam free all day but nighttime and when we are making love. This was not previously the case but after an accident during lovemaking and much long conversations I convinced my wife to put the rabbit in its cage when we are making love.
But now whenever I am making love to my wife, like clockwork, the little shit knows what we are doing and screams at the top of its lungs until my wife abandons what she is doing, even nude and comes to the smug little shits rescue. He is doing this out of pure spite.
I am aware that rabbits only scream when very stressed or in danger but he is in his huge cage because my wife spoils him only during night and when we make love, I swear he is doing this to ruin our marriage. He thinks my wife is his mate and wants to get rid of me.
I have scars all over my body from bites and scratches and my life refuses to do anything about the rabbit or how much time she spends with it.
We are in couples therapy and our marriage is very rocky. What do I do?
DUDUDUDUDU
twitchquotes:
~ 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ DUDUDUDUDUDU ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ DUDUDUDUDUDU ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
twitch chat
TidesOfTime
PogU
⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠄
⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶
⠄⠄⠰⣿⠿⢋⣉⣀⣀⣤⣤⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠿⠿⢿⣿
⠄⣠⣾⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⡙
⢠⣿⣿⣿⣟⣉⣡⣀⣂⣰⣬⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣛⡛⣛⠛⠿⢿⣿
⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⠶⢾⣦⣬⣿
⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣶⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿
⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠄
⣿⡆⠄⠄⡀⠄⣿⡇⠈⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⣿⣿⠋⢀⠠⠄⢀
⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣷⠄⠹⣷⣤⣤⣄⣀⣠⣶⣶⣦⣾⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾
⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠈⠙⢿⣉⠄⠄⠉⠻⠿⢿⣿⠿⠋⠉⣿⣿⣟⣥⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠶⠄⢠⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⠿⢉⣿⣿⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿
Hello Mr Kripp, I Am Master Diamond Rank 1 In Kosovo
twitchquotes:
Hello Mr Kripp, I Am Master Diamond Rank 1 In Kosovo. My Skills Are Getting Stronker And I Wish To Join Team "TMS". My Land Has Endured Many Harsh Winters And My Cow Died Last Fall. I Am How You Say, "Hard In A Place," And Am Looking to One Day Be Best At Heartstone For My Mother Says I Have The Heart Of The Carderinos.
twitch chat
Kripp