[Copypasta] I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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This chat is now under the sole proprietorship of Sebastian "Forsen" Fors

twitchquotes: ******ATTENTION ***** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) This chat is now under the sole proprietorship of Sebastian "Forsen" Fors. Please type forsen W (no space), into your chat box to verify yourself as a follower of Forsen. Those who do not verify themselves and are caught posting in this chat will be persecuted to the fullest extent of the law ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).
twitch chat
March 2015
Trump

Crewmate Amogus Ghost

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠞⠛⠛⠛⠛⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⡷⠶⠒⠒⠒⠶⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢠⡞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡄⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⣿⠛⠛⢻⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⡷⠶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣤⡴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠶⢤⣤⣤⠶⢾⡿ ⠀⠀⠸⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡾⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠶⠶⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⠞⠛⠒⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⠶⠴⠶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021

Can a Gay Vegan swallow semen

Can a Gay Vegan swallow semen and still be considred a vegan? Vegans don't eat dairy, semen is a protein containing substance from a mammal, that's very close to dairy. The fact that it comes from a mammal also means it's an "animal product" ... Sure you might not be hurting anyone, but does that seriously mean you would consider yourself a vegan if you swallowed semen? I don't mean any of this in offense, in anyway.. just wondered what the consensus was.
January 2021

Any advice, Dad?

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Tʏʀᴏɴᴇ, ᴜʀ sᴏɴ. Mʏ ᴍᴏᴍ, Lᴀǫᴜɪsʜᴀ, ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴍᴇ. I ᴊᴜsᴛ ɢᴏᴛ ᴋɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ Cᴀɴᴀᴅɪᴀɴ ᴇʟᴇᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʀʏ sᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ғᴏʀ sᴀʏɪɴɢ "F*ᴄᴋ" ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴜ. Oʀ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ғᴏʀ ʏᴇʟʟɪɴɢ "RIP" ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ᴘᴜɴᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ...ᴀɴʏ ᴀᴅᴠɪᴄᴇ, Dᴀᴅ?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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