Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Kripp found dead
twitch chat
Kripp
Flareon is better than Vaporeon for human companionship
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
Pokemon
"Your roadhog is insane." Seagull said
twitchquotes:
"Your roadhog is insane." Seagull said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Moon's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to insert your payload?" protests Moon, as Seagull blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Moon. "Weak tank play, Moon." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Seagull charges like Reinhardt through Moon’s symmetra portal.
twitch chat
MOONMOON
Overwatch
Now my mom calls us sussy bakas
My 12 year old little sister called my older sister it yesterday. And my mom heard and asked what it meant. Little sister said it’s something cute to call someone as a cover up. Now my mom calls us sussy bakas. Someone kill me.
Copy whatever that brain dead moron types
twitchquotes:
I swear all this chat ever does is pick the one idiot with the lowest IQ and copy whatever that brain dead moron types.
twitch chat