Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
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A scholar hates twitch chat
The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
Saronite Chain Gang is my least favorite card
twitchquotes:
Saronite Chain Gang is quickly becoming one of my least favorite cards. It's just so hopeless and suffering. It comes on the board like "How long can this go on?" and I'm like "yeah SCG this torture is eternal" and when he attacks he's like "FREE ME" and I'm like "yeah if only I could." He doesn't say some positive bullshit like "spells are fun" he's just like "nah end this." And it looks so frustrated.
twitch chat
Hearthstone
OkaygeBusiness (fits twitch chat)
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿
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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⡅⠀⣿⠅⠀⠀⢀⠘⠛⣀⣠
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⣠⠴⠶⣤⡀⢶⣦⣿⣦⣤⣀⣤⠴⠻⣿⣿⠿⠛
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⠐⢶⣈⠛⠦⣬⣍⣉⣉⣉⣀⣀⣀⣨⡥⠖⣾
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠉⠓⠶⠤⢤⣬⣭⡭⠭⠭⠷⠖⣒⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢀⡀⠠⡀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠓⠶⠶⠦⠤⠶⣶⣲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⣼⣿⡁⠀⢹⣷⣷⣶⣶⣶⡀⠀⡠⠋⡉⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⡟⢩⡍⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠓⣆⠀⠉⢉⣿⡿⠉⢶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢧⣾⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠛⢃⡘⠳⣄⣀⣀⠔⠻⣀⠛⠒⣶⣯⠛⢷⣤⡈⣷⠂⢀⡟⢁⠼⠟⠋⢿⣿⣿⣿
⠐⠚⠓⠒⠒⠛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠙⢿⣾⣷⣮⣴⠗⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
Pepe
Dear Qtpie. This is the Queen of England
twitchquotes:
Dear Qtpie. This is the Queen of England. I am revoking your knighthood due to your refusal to play Sion. Furthermore, keeping any gate is henceforth considered an act of high treason. Your insolence stops here foul knave
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!
twitchquotes:
Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat