Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
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Hey Balls, I'm trying to learn to play Darius
twitchquotes:
ＨＥＹ ＢＡＬＬＳ， Ｉ’Ｍ ＴＲＹＩＮＧ ＴＯ ＬＥＡＲＮ ＴＯ ＰＬＡＹ ＤＡＲＩＵＳ． Ｉ ＪＵＳＴ ＨＡＶＥ Ａ ＱＵＥＳＴＩＯＮ ＡＢＯＵＴ ＴＨＥ ＳＫＩＬＬ ＢＵＩＬＤ： ＳＨＯＵＬＤ Ｉ ＭＡＸ ＤＥＣＩＭＡＴＥ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ ＤＥＣＩＭＡＴＥＤ ＦＮＡＴＩＣ， ＣＲＩＰＰＬＩＮＧ ＳＴＲＩＫＥ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ ＣＲＩＰＰＬＥＤ ＦＮＡＴＩＣ＇Ｓ ＣＨＡＮＣＥＳ ＯＦ ＧＥＴＴＩＮＧ ＯＵＴ ＯＦ ＧＲＯＵＰＳ，ＯＲ ＡＰＰＲＥＨＥＮＤ ＬＩＫＥ ＹＯＵ ＡＰＰＲＥＨＥＮＤＥＤ ＡＬＬ ＦＩＶＥ ＯＦ ＦＮＡＴＩＣ ＦＯＲ Ａ ＰＥＮＴＡＫＩＬＬ．
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
Do British people even exist?
Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it.
Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea.
There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy.
What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist .
British People
Classic
I saw it on the new hip website called Reddit!
twitchquotes:
I saw it on the new hip website called Reddit! It's a pun on Read and It, Reddit! Isn't that swell! There are also these things called May-mays or otherwise known as memes there. They're really funny
twitch chat
Trick2g
I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter
I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
Classic
I sexually Identify as
I'm a new Jerma fan, please send help
I'm a new Jerma fan, please send help
What the hell is this guy doing!? I first checked in the middle of his Watchdogs stream few days ago, and he claims to be getting 60fps (despite it looking like 6). I assumed he was just having hardware issues, so I exited the stream for a while and came back. But, as soon as I checked his stream, he was yelling "OOEY-GOOEY CHEESE!" to some sandwich tier lists. What kind of master's degree do you need to understand the complexities of this person?!
Jerma985