[Copypasta] I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Trump Biden fanfic

Trump wins the election by one vote. He tries to find out who the last vote was. It was Biden. He then says to Biden โ€œafter all this you still voted for me?โ€ Trump then changes his vote to Biden which then makes it a tie. They both get very emotional. Biden then leans in and makes out with trump on national television. They run away and live the rest of their lives together. Which leaves Kanye west as the 46th president of the United States.
November 2020

2020 US Election

Creepy Spongebob

โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ”ˆโ”ˆโ•ฑโ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–”โ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ”ˆโ•ฑโ•ญโ–โ•ฎโ•ญโ”ปโ”ปโ•ฎโ•ญโ”ปโ”ปโ•ฎโ•ญโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ฎโ•ฐโ–โ•ฏโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ”ƒโ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ•ฐโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ฏโ”ˆโ–โ”ˆโ”—โ”ปโ”ปโ”›โ”—โ”ปโ”ปโ”ปโ•ฎโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ญโ•ฎโ–โ•ฎโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”ˆโ”โ”โ”โ”โ•ฏโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ•ฐโ•ฏโ–โ•ฏโ•ฐโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ”ณโ•ฏโ•ญโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ”ˆโ•ญโ–โ•ญโ•ฎโ”ƒโ”—โ”›โ”—โ”›โ”ƒโ”ˆโ•ฐโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ–•โ”ˆโ•ฐโ–โ•ฐโ•ฏโ•ฐโ”โ”โ”โ”โ•ฏโ”ˆโ”ˆโ–โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „
December 2019

I don't geddit

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August 2021

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If Morbius has a trillion fans

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Iโ€™m sick and tired of people stating that Hunter takes no skill

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twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen
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