[Copypasta] I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Now my mom calls us sussy bakas

My 12 year old little sister called my older sister it yesterday. And my mom heard and asked what it meant. Little sister said it’s something cute to call someone as a cover up. Now my mom calls us sussy bakas. Someone kill me.
June 2021

Don't even try to compare Xqc to Forsen

twitchquotes: Don't even try to compare Xqcow to frozen. Xqcow is god, frozen is dog. Xqcow is smart, frozen is a wet shart. Xqcow makes Poggers plays, frozen is a glorified sleep aid. Xqcow is the juicer, frozen is a fruit. Capiche kiddo?
twitch chat
January 2022
Forsen

Fruit towers

twitchquotes: πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘ 🍊 πŸ‹ 🍍 🍐 🍏 🐬 🐳 πŸ‡ πŸ† πŸ™ 🌷 🐷 🍎 πŸ“ πŸ‘
twitch chat
August 2018

This copypasta pushed your comment into the void

twitchquotes: Oh, were you trying to send a message in this chat? Sorry pal, didn't see you there. In fact, I don't think anybody saw your message. Chat is just moving too fast with all these people spamming large amounts of text. Thems just the breaks kid, welcome to twitch. Don't even bother trying to share your opinion, because at the end of the day, the only thing that the rest of the viewers will remember is this meaningless copypasta that pushed your comment up into the void.
twitch chat
August 2020

Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth

twitchquotes: High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

Text-to-Speech Playing