Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
I used to be a real ad
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One day I'll be a real dong
twitchquotes:
(ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL DONG (ง •̀_•́)ง
twitch chat
Kripp
Hey Tyler, I've been a beta male all my life
twitchquotes:
Hey Tyler, I've been a beta male all my life. My mommy tells me to man up. My daddy disowned me. All the kids pick on me at school and push me over. Even my girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't play Draven. Tyler could you please mod me so I may ban people randomly in your chat to be alpha 
twitch chat
Tyler1
My name is Kixelated
twitchquotes:
Hi, my name is Kixelated, you might know me from the 3rd division of the 22nd branch of Twitch’s official Nazi party. I am here to use my powers as one of the most important men of the our beloved Nazi party to ban all twitch MODERATORS that aren’t doing their job. You are supposed to prevent communism from spreading by banning all of the one man spammers, but instead, you are exactly like them. I want to let you know that you guys are fired
twitch chat
Forsen
MODS
Reynad is inspiring
twitchquotes:
Reynad, you have inspired me so much. Without you I would never have been able to come to terms with my genital warts and how they are natural. I am no longer ashamed of them and would like you to someday see them! Thank you.
twitch chat
Reynad
I challenge you to “Turtle King”
Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks.
I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead.
We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings.
The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴.
Dual me, I’m 4-0.