[Copypasta] I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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This is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob Hi, this is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave. I dedicated my life to painting so that you brats could do something more productive with your lives than sitting on your *** playing your stupid Atari games all day. I don't appreciate you morons abusing my legacy and turning me into some childish meme that you can spam on your little MSM chat thing. Now go paint a mountain or something and don't you dare copypaste this. CoolStoryBob
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October 2016
Bob Ross

Classic

I AM OCTOSARI

twitchquotes: I AM OCTOSARI Squid4 YOU PLAY ME IN TURN 8 Squid4 I HAVE 8 ATTACK Squid4 I HAVE 8 HEALTH Squid4 I DRAW 8 CARDS Squid4 I HAVE 8 TENTACLES Squid4 MY NAME HAS 8 LETTERS Squid4 AND THERE ARE 8 TENTACLES IN THIS MESSAGE Squid4
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August 2019

Hearthstone

These aren't the dongs you're looking for

twitchquotes: เผผ ยบู„อŸยบเผผ ยบู„อŸยบ เผฝ ใƒฝ( อกยฐโ•ญอœส–โ•ฎอกยฐ )๏พ‰ These aren't the dongs you're looking for (โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ)(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ–€ฬฟ ฬฟ)
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Patrick Star - I am back

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€Iโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ”€โ–€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ–€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€AMโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€BACK โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
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Be careful, selling out can affect a stream near you.

twitchquotes: It has come to my understanding that our very own Forsken has turned in to a sellout. He no longer reads chat but only reads the $2 donations he gets. He accuses Frump of being a sellout, but is actually now worse than Frump. Please copy and paste this message to spread awareness. Be careful, selling out can affect a stream near you.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

sellout

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