Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
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Thanks Kripp for saving my marriage!
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Kripp
Dear Twitch Partners, Our community members are always our priority
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Dear ๐ Twitch Partners ๐ค , Our 
community members ๐ช are always โ๏ธ our priority ๐. We received ๐ฅ some reports โ describing โจ๏ธ the discomfort โน๏ธ some of our members ๐ฃ๏ธ felt after a Twitch Rivals ๐คผ participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," ๐ถ both emotes are often โฒ๏ธ used in toxic ๐ contexts. Please ๐ refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead ๐. Best regards ๐, Twitch Team ๐
community members ๐ช are always โ๏ธ our priority ๐. We received ๐ฅ some reports โ describing โจ๏ธ the discomfort โน๏ธ some of our members ๐ฃ๏ธ felt after a Twitch Rivals ๐คผ participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," ๐ถ both emotes are often โฒ๏ธ used in toxic ๐ contexts. Please ๐ refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead ๐. Best regards ๐, Twitch Team ๐
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Ruining my twitch chat experience
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You guys are ruining my twitch chat experience. I come to the twitch chat for mature conversation about the gameplay, only to be awarded with kappa faces and frankerzs. People who spam said faces need medical attention utmost. The twitch chat is serious business, and the mods should really raise their dongers.
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Kripp
I saw it on the new hip website called Reddit!
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I saw it on the new hip website called Reddit! It's a pun on Read and It, Reddit! Isn't that swell! There are also these things called May-mays or otherwise known as memes there. They're really funny
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Trick2g
Dear Qtpie. This is the Queen of England
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Dear Qtpie. This is the Queen of England. I am revoking your knighthood due to your refusal to play Sion. Furthermore, keeping any gate is henceforth considered an act of high treason. Your insolence stops here foul knave
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imaqtpie