Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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QTPie, this is your Mother Pie
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QTPie, this is your Mother Pie, I've been told you've been drinking alcohol in your TV show my son, please don't do this to the family. Is it that Pobelter boy making you do this?
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Tempostorm royalty fees
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(◕‿◕✿) Dear Mr. Kripp. We at Tempostorm have heard that you have used the coined word "Tempo" in a stream today. Reynad will contact you shortly regarding royalty fees. Have a good Tempo Day Back (◕‿◕✿)
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My 86-year-old grandmother replied "OK, boomer" to my boomer aunt in an argument
Backstory: I live round the corner from my gran and visit her often so thanks to me she has a vague grasp of what memes are and how they work. The other day when I was round at hers and she asked what memes were popular at the moment so I told her about the "OK boomer" meme. She knew what boomers were already so she was able to get the concept of this meme fairly easily.
Fast forward to today, I'm over at my gran's again, and she's on the phone to my aunt. They got into a disagreement over a slightly racist comment my aunt made the other day (my gran is very much against racism) and my gran eventually just said "OK boomer" and hung up.
I've never been so proud.
UPDATE: So I told my gran about this post and the reaction it got - she said she's glad that so many of you enjoyed her little joke and that it proves she's still young at heart. I agree with that 100%.
Together, we can save the universe
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Hello Twitch, it is me, Goku. I need your help to create the ultimate Spirit Bomb so I can defeat Frieza, but I need your help. Raise your hands in the air and prove it by typing \o/. Together we can save the universe.
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If coronavirus touches your name you're infected
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