[Copypasta] My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
December 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I sexually Identify as a snow chugger

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a snow chugger. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of chuggering over the plains of Azeroth freezing disgusting hunters. People say to me that a person being a snowchugger is Impossible and I m fuсking retarded but I don t care, I m beautiful. I m having a mech warper install snow plows, salt shakers and whirling blades on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Choo Choo" and respect my right to chugga chugga and freeze needlessly. If you can t accept me you re a mechaphobe and need to check your topdeck privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

This frog's head just got stuck on this ladder

twitchquotes: ╠═ OSFrog ═╣ This frog's head just got stuck on this ladder. To make him feel better, enslave his frog brothers too by spamming this.
twitch chat
April 2015

Sonic and Tails

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣩⣛⠿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣾⣯⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠻⢿⣿⣿⡋⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠏⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣯⡹⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⣷⣦⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣇⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⣦⡆⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣧⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠁⠀⠀⠋⠉⠉⢻⣿⡿⠿⠃⠀⠰ ⣿⡟⠉⠈⣿⣿⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⢴⣦⣴⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡁⠀⢰⣿⣿⡇⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣏⢻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠞⠁⣀⣾⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡇⠀⠘⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⡀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⢸⠏⠙⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠠⠄⣀⣈⠛⣃⣴⣏⡙⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣄⣿⣿⣿⣇⠘⠁⠀⢰⣿⠖⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⠀⠀⢀⣤ ⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣯⡍⠁⠉⠂⠀⠀⠉⠉⠲⠚⣁⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠋⠉⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡂⢹⣿⡶⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣯⠀⠀⢀⠀⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣌⣛⣡⣴⡂⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠙⠧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣷⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠀⠱⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2021

Professor Utonium

██████████████████████ ██████████████████████ █░░██████████████░░░██ █░░░░██████████░░░░███ █░░░░░░██████░░░░░████ █░░░░░░░███░░░░░░█████ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░████ ██████░░░███████░░░███ █░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░██ █░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░███ █░▄▀▀███░░▄▀▀██▄░░░░░░░█ █░█─████░░█─████░░░░░░░█ █░█▄████░░█▄████░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░███ █░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░███░░░█░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░█░░█░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░█░█░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░██░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ██████████░░░░░░░░████ ───────█─██░░░░░░██──█ ───────█──███░░███───█ ───────█────████─────█ ───────█─────██──────█
September 2021

Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
February 2021

Shrek

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing