[Copypasta] If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/pattyamaka_/status/1032616980765978624
I used to be a real ad
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I'm going to kill that prosterino

twitchquotes: The Prostitute asks the Kripp, "Why don't you make a D3 video?" Kripp flies into a rage and hits her with an ornate salt shaker yelling, "I'm going to kill that prosterino!" When the cops finally caught him, after the 2 hour shootout, Kripp lies bleeding on the ground and mutters weakly to the sky..."I played that perfectly, nothing I coulda done cough what a joke.."
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020

:3

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣼⠁⠀⠈⣿⣿⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣾⢟⣩⣾⠿⠋⠁⠀⢠⣴⣧⣤⣤⣤⣿⡏⠈ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠽⠛⠉⠀⠚⠉⠚⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠤⠒⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠉⠂ ⣿⠏⢸⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣀ ⣩⣿⡿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠙⠳⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠙⠻⢿ ⠹⣿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⢈ ⡀⠈⠂⡀⣙⢩⢿⡿⠝⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠃⠻⣿⠃⠀⢀⡘ ⣿⣶⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣶⣶⠶⠟⠋⠙⢶⣤⣴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼ ⣮⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿
ascii art
August 2020

We recommend that you use the "suggested card" feature

twitchquotes: Greetings, Kripparrian. This is an automated message from Blizzard™ Entertianment. You are receiving this message because our Hearthstone AI has flagged your account due to an unusal number of arena losses. We recommend that you use the "suggested card" feature before progressing any further. Thanks - The Blizzard™ Team.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and I’m a fucking Twittard but I don’t care, I’m the richest man on Earth. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Technoking of Tesla” and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you can’t accept me you’re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
April 2022

I sexually Identify as

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