[Copypasta] If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/pattyamaka_/status/1032616980765978624
I used to be a real ad
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What's that?

twitchquotes: "Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust

twitchquotes: I have done it, 80 years and not a single nut bust. Thanks to my incredible goal i have obtained an iq of 156 which i have used to build a pc that deletes system 32 when it loads any type of NSFW. I’m currently in a hospital bed dying of terminal disease, however, this is a victory as in 72 hours i’m expected to die. Wish me luck in this final run.
twitch chat
November 2020

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me?

twitchquotes: What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Crying laughing emoji COCK yep

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿ ⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⠋⣠⡾⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠻⢷⣄⠙⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⣾⣿⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⣿⣷⣾⣿⡇⢸ ⡇⠸⠟⣫⣥⣶⣧⠹⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠏⣼⣶⣬⣍⠻⠇⢸ ⡧⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢼ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠁⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⣿⣌⡻⠿⠿⢋⣴⣦⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⢀⣴⣦⡙⠿⠿⢟⣡⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⡿⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣌⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢠⣶⠿⠿⣷⡄⠈⣠⣶⠿⢿⣶⡄⠉⣡⣶⠿⠿⣶⡄⠄⣿⡇⢀⣾⡿⠃ ⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⡇⢀⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⠹⣿⣄⣠⣶⡆⠄⢿⣷⣀⣠⣿⡟⠄⢻⣷⣄⣠⣶⠆⠄⣿⡏⠈⢿⣷ YEP
ascii art
January 2021

BBoomer

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣙⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⡀⠨⣱⢴⡒⠚⠉⢍⣉⣃⡡⠊⠄⠇⠄⣞⣛⣶⡂⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠒⣪⢷⠯⣿⢗⠇⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠄⠄⠈⠘⠳⢟⣽⠍⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢉⢠⠷⠚⠥⠊⠄⠄⠄⣀⣁⣀⣀⠄⠄⠑⠢⠄⠄⠘⠆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡏⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⢀⡀⠈⠉⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠲⢸⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⠔⠒⠉⠉⠈⠉⠓⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢸⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡞⠄⠄⠄⡀⢤⣠⣄⣤⣠⢄⠄⠄⢠⡠⠤⣤⡤⠴⠦⢾⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠞⠄⠄⢚⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠏⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠄⠙⠿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠁⠶⠂⠄⢬⡻⣿⣿⡿⠿⡏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⢩⢻⣛⡛⠛⢛⣉⣉⣭⡭⡈⠁⢠⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠏⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⢀⡬⠚⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢀⢀⠄⢐⣒⣲⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠙⣯⣶⠗⠟⠙⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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March 2020
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