[Copypasta] If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/pattyamaka_/status/1032616980765978624
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Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex!

twitchquotes: OhMyDog Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex! I just wanted to let you know that some more of my fur fell out today. Maybe it's that "vegan" diet you've been putting me on? Anyways, I love you, and wish you would stop playing that card game all the time and talk to me and Rania sometimes. Sorry, that's a lot to ask, I know you need money to buy us more "kale" or whatever. Anyways, good luck on your "Heart Stone"! OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Will twitch chat copy pasta anything?

twitchquotes: Will twitch chat copy pasta anything? I sometimes type up big paragraphs trying to be clever and pander to the type of humor that copypasters enjoy. I am beginning to wonder if that matters at all though, will they paste this even though I'm not being funny or referring to some 2015 hearthstone joke about some other dead HS streamer? I guess I'm about to find out.
twitch chat
August 2018

Germany scores on Brazil

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Every 60 seconds in Brazil, Germany scores a goal. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face

twitchquotes: I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face and suffocate me and gives me no mercy, I want her to squash my head with her gigantic thighs like a hand squashes a tomato. Just knowing that she is able to do that brings me to the brink of orgasmic relief, but I know she won't smash my body with her arms hugging me like the bear emote. Fuck, why does she have to be a video game character, I want Blizzard to make sex dolls, I would buy out all the Zarya models and keep them for myself
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

This player doesn't even use a monitor

I've seen [insert player here] play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes.
July 2022

CSGO

Valorant

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