[Copypasta] If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/pattyamaka_/status/1032616980765978624
What happened to this ad? :(
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Hello Kripp, I am a casual player

twitchquotes: (ง ◉◡◔)ง Hello Kripp. I am a casual player who always managed to get 1-3 in arena. I wanted to know if you want to hire me, I could train you to be better in arena, and maybe one day, you could manage to have 1-3 as I do. My prices are 15$ per hour. Just PM me if you are interested. (ง ◉◡◔)ง
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

My NAAAME is Gyoubu Masataka ONIWA

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(\__/)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(•ㅅ•)⠀⠀My NAAAAAME is ＿ノ⠀ヽ⠀ノ⠀＼＿⠀⠀Gyoubu Masataka /⠀️⠀Y⠀⌒Ｙ⌒⠀Ｙ⠀️⠀️ヽ⠀⠀ONIWA! (⠀️⠀️⠀️(三ヽ人⠀⠀/⠀⠀⠀| |⠀️⠀️⠀️ﾉ⠀¯¯\⠀￣￣ヽノAs I breathe, ヽ＿＿＿⠀⠀＞､＿_／ you will NOT pass ⠀⠀⠀｜⠀(⠀王⠀)〈 the castle gate ⠀⠀⠀/⠀⠀ﾐ`——彡⠀\ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀🐎
ascii art
April 2019

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture

I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen. When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place. There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise. And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work. Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable. And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts. And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
September 2021

Yo boys u ready for the perfect pyramid LUL ?

twitchquotes: Yo boys u ready for the perfect pyramid LUL ? I’m a god xDxDxD LUL xD look at the most perfect LUL pyramid. LUL LUL Try like me! Can’t without dank meme LUL LUL LUL And now look it will be o very tall LUL LUL LUL LUL Can you do a 5 line pyramid? LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL What about 6 lines XD LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL Try it! Copy it! LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL Here it’s 8 LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL it is 9! LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL LUL
twitch chat
May 2019

John Wick is in grave danger

twitchquotes: Epic Fortnite gamers, it's time to rise and grind! John Wick is in grave danger. Our friend is trapped in Dusty Divots surrounded by fake defaults with no shields or weaponry, and the only one who can help is you to save him! What he needs is your credit card number, the three numbers on the back, as well as the expiration month and date. BE SWIFT, GAMERS. You gotta do it. The circle is closing and John Wick needs your assistance fast so that he can acquire that bread, nae nae on those NOOBS, and achieve another SICK W! YEAH!
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

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