[Copypasta] If your girlfriend cheats on you

twitchquotes: If your girlfriend cheats on you, you need to understand that you lacked something that made her cheat, so instead of leaving her for another girl, find out the error in yourself, apologise to her and be a Better man. ✌
twitch chat
June 2019
Found on Twitter: https://twitter.com/pattyamaka_/status/1032616980765978624
I used to be a real ad
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PepegaEZ

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠶⠤⠄⠄⣶⣶⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣰⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⠝⠻⢯⣥⣶⣶⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣫⠶⣚⣓⣒⠌⢛⡵⢋⣵⠶⢦⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢒⣉⣑⠢⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⢩⣾⣿⡿⠛⢿⣮⠱⣿⣿⠠⡄⠹⡄⠠⠤ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣯⣶⣿⣿⣦⣙⠿⠿⠿⠆⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⠄⠉⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣏⣭⣭⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠼⣅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠ ⠺⣿⣿⣿⢟⣵⡿⢿⣷⣮⡻⢿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣵⣿⣿⣿⣮⣻⡿⠶⣚⠔⠄ ⠄⠈⠻⣿⢸⣿⡕⣷⣬⡻⢿⣷⣬⣛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣛⣫⣥⠶⠛⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠻⢿⣮⡉⠉⠓⠶⣮⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠄⣰⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠓⠒⠠⣄⣉⣙⣛⣛⣋⣁⣠⠤⠴⠖⢟⡁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣨⣭⣭⠵⠶⠒⠉⠄⠄⠄⠈⠑⠢⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣷⣶⠶⣫⣼⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠋⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
November 2021

Pepe

Qtpie's doctor messages Qtpie about his donger cream needs

twitchquotes: Hello Qtpie, it's your doctor, DR. Dong calling about your donger cream needs, you havn't picked up your prescription in quite a while and we are worried your donger may be dry and crusty
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you

twitchquotes: Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you. Every morning I wake up and wash my adderall down with GFUEL™️, I have a python script that uploads my gameplay directly to reddit and I have amassed over 3 million karma. I only have TTV in my name ironically but also I have a stream PogChamp. If my ping were lower I would literally never lose, my 80% headshot percentage (op included) always carries my team. Let's be honest LUL you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
twitch chat
August 2020

All intensive purposes

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
September 2021

You will never be a crewmate

You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery. All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat. Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged. You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

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