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Dragon Rider
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
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SHOVE A HAMSTER
twitchquotes:
γ½ΰΌΌΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½οΎ SHOVE A HAMSTER IN MY ASS γ½ΰΌΌΰΊΩΝΰΊΰΌ½οΎ
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Reynad
How to kill a geologist
Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy.
Iβd brandish my obsidian knife at them and theyβd be compelled to approach. βThatβs very cool,β theyβd say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. Theyβd shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. βBut as it is volcanic glass, itβs very fragile, you see, and isnβt well-suited for use as a weapββ and then Iβd hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
President's Day Emoji Pasta
πHAPPYπ₯³PRESIDICKSππ«DAYππ¦2οΈβ£9οΈβ£0οΈβ£ years β±ago πour ππfavπpoundingπ§ππ»π father π΄π»ππ¦andπmainπ₯Ίπ―bitchπββοΈπ€WHOREgeπWashingSLUTπ₯³π
πΎcameπ¦π¦intoππthisπWORLDπto βοΈbecumπ¦ π€«theπΊπΈ1STπΊπΈpresiDICKπ’ππ€ofππ₯³theπ
UnitedπΊπΈSlutsπOfπ€AmericaπΊπΈπ³οΈβπsendπ§π²thisβ‘οΈto πofπtheπ©sluttiestππ¦π¦patriotsπππΊπΈyouπknowπ€if you get π backππyouβreπinvited to the βοΈπconstitutional πβοΈCOCKusππ¦ if you get 5οΈβ£ back π€π€£πββοΈ youβre a Mt. Rushmore π»π¨π»βπ¦³WHOREππππ¦if you π€get 0οΈβ£ back ππΉno π« presidickππ¦ for π€you ππ¨π»βπ¦³πΊπΈπΊπΈπΊπΈ
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i didnt fuck my cat emojified
twitchquotes:
iπββοΈdidnβt π« fuck ππ¦my catπΎ. i didnt π«cum ππ¦on my catπΌ . i didntβ put 
my Dick π anywhere πnear my catπ . Ive never βπ
ββοΈdone anything weird βββwith my πββοΈπ»cats. I promisedπ€ myself π€i wasnt going to make π’π’apology πΏ videosπΉ after last yearsπ
thing so im just trying to be as short and honest π with this π
πΌas possible. (1/?)
my Dick π anywhere πnear my catπ . Ive never βπ
ββοΈdone anything weird βββwith my πββοΈπ»cats. I promisedπ€ myself π€i wasnt going to make π’π’apology πΏ videosπΉ after last yearsπ
thing so im just trying to be as short and honest π with this π
πΌas possible. (1/?)
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