So I met him today and asked him: "Hello, my best friend, are you racist?"
And he replied with: "Yes, I'm racist"
I was shocked. So I asked him back: "You racist?"
He said: "Yes, I'm actually racist"
To comprehend him, I asked: "Why are you racist?"
He answered with: "Because I'm racist"
I made sure: "Racism?"
He replied: "Yeah, racism"
I shout out: "Oh no"
He just: "Yeah"
And I'm just: "That's so racist"
He: "Racism"
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Making poops of different shapes
twitchquotes:
Sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ I ᴘᴏᴏᴘ, I ᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴀᴘɪɴɢ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄʜᴍᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍʏ ᴏʟᴅ Pʟᴀʏ Dᴏʜ ғᴜɴ sᴇᴛ. I ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴀɴᴜs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴘᴏᴏᴘs ɪɴ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ sʜᴀᴘᴇs. Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. I'ᴍ ᴀɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ, ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪғ I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴏᴏᴘs sʜᴀᴘᴇᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ sᴛᴀʀs, I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ. Tʜᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅɪɴɢ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀʏ.
twitch chat
Kripp
Goldshire Footman is one of my favorite cards
twitchquotes:
Goldshire Footman quickly became one of my favorite cards. He might not be the strongest minion in the game, but he protects me without hesitation against large minions and the way he says "Ready for battle" always fills me with confidence 
twitch chat
Hearthstone
Imaqtpie takes a break from the stream
twitchquotes:
"Alright we fuckin lost," Michael says. "I'm gonna go piss." He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately bites Small Cat's vulnerable tail. As Small Cat yelps loudly in pain, Michael overturns the nearest chair, yelling "SMAKET I LOST" as loudly as he can. Lisha tries to calm him down, but Michael swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Michael wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
The game of "shitpost" is a gentlemans' sport
twitchquotes:
The game of "shitpost" is a gentlemans' sport played by high society clubs like S.M.E.G. on emoting grounds across twitch. To play, one player posts a satirical block of text to the pitch, usually with a paygated emote such as 
. Next, the other players copy and paste the same message while simultaneously laughing at the misfortune of the lower class.
. Next, the other players copy and paste the same message while simultaneously laughing at the misfortune of the lower class.
twitch chat
MOONMOON
The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population
The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.