[Copypasta] Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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One off lethal

twitchquotes: Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But it’s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. *click* He forgot to buy bullets. β€œOne off lethal,” Rania sobs.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Chuck Testa and Cattarian

twitchquotes: Hey Kripparian its me Chuck Testa. I'd personally like to Taxidermize your friend beast Cattarian. "Hey Kripp, it's me Cattarian and I approve of this method!" NOOOOPE it's just me Chuck Testa. Your cat would appreciate being worshiped and praised in the afterlife though. So, lets get that cats body and let me do my hobby.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I watched your stream and went 1-3 just like you!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp I'm 12 and I'm your biggest fan! I saw you play Artosis last year at BlizzCon, are you gonna win BlizzCon this year Kripp? I heard you were good at Arena. I watched your stream and went 1-3 just like you!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I've always wanted to be an octopusserino

twitchquotes: ive always wanted to be an octopusserino but everytime i try to tell someone they make fun of me. well ive had it up to here. today is the day i put my tentacles down. im sick and tired of people telling me what i can and cant be. i will be getting surgery to split my legs like pasterinos so i can have tentacles if you copy and pasterino my story to mock me i swear i will ink all over your face!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Tuck me

twitchquotes: Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β° γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€ γ€€ γ€€ γ€€ Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β° γ€€ γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€tuck me γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€ γ€€γ€€ γ€€ γ€€ γ€€ Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β° γ€€ γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€ γ€€ γ€€ γ€€ Ν‘Β° ΝœΚ– Ν‘Β°
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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