[Copypasta] I once had sleep paralysis

twitchquotes: i once had sleep paralysis and i imagined Kripparian slowly slithering up to me and i felt the brush of his wirey beard press against my chest and his boulder-like face was a miillimeter away from mine and he whispered "..He had the perfect cerds" then drained all my RNG power right out of my chest. I cried for days.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
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Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster, i've noticed that my husband is never home to play with the Childrenmasters and they are really missing their Fathermaster. Could you choose my dear Husbandmaster less so that my kids can grow up with an actual Dadmaster? Thank you Kripp, maybe he can take you to Gymmaster so you can put some muscle on that scrawny vegan body.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat

twitchquotes: Kripp has NEVER said "I LOVE YOU" to chat. We've been with him for 2+ years and he doesn't have the guts to say it. Or maybe he doesn't even really care about us after all we've been through. If Kripp doesn't say "I love you" to us chat, then I think it's time we leave him until he realizes how important we are.. BibleThump
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

Tanner's life continues its downward spiral

twitchquotes: After his shift at McDonald's, Tanner sits alone in his dark, dingy apartment, waiting for Kripp's stream to begin. As soon as Kripp's face appears, he begins one of his tirades, insulting and mocking Kripp, the happily-married, multi-millionaire video game streaming sensation. "That'll show him", Tanner mutters to himself, as his life continues its downward spiral.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Tanner from High School

Kripp if you don't play a lonely island song next...

twitchquotes: Kripp, if you don't play a lonely island song in the next 5 minutes i will go to your house, pet your cat, eat your pizza, drink your oj, spill your salt and copy your pasta, plz no copy pasterino lonerino islanderino
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Sandown being investigated by the FBI

twitchquotes: ༼▀ل͜▀༽ The FBI is currently investigating a possible DDOS attack against Kripparian. It is believed that Sandown masterminded this attack against Kripparian's stream, in order to steal his viewers and promote his own streaming career. It is estimated that Kripparian has lost tens of millions of dollars in the DDOS attack, which Sandown allegedly had executed. Sandown refused to comment on the event when reporters swarmed his house, but he later released a brief statement denying the allegation. Kripparian spoke out later that night stating that he intends to sue Sandown if it is proven that he did commit this cyber crime. ༼▀ل͜▀༽
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
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