[Copypasta] Young pistachio becomes grand old cashew

twitchquotes: Let me tell you a story. I was once a young pistachio like you. But then I saw the light. I saw the kripp and let the kripp into my life. Now I am a grand old cashew with a pepperoni plantation to boot. Don't make the mistake I once did and deny the kripp. Kripp is love. Kripp is life. Praise the Kripp. Amen.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Kripp Copypastas

What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me?

twitchquotes: What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Thanks Kripp for saving my marriage!

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp reviews a card

twitchquotes: ☐ I got the beast in my sights ☐ Hoot hoot ☐ That belongs in a museum ☐ Let me change your mind ☑ I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that you’ve played, so you’re playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesn’t really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good card.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

ISIS threatens Kripp

twitchquotes: لام ، Kripp ، میرے دوست ، اس کے اپنے مقامی ISIS باب سے ہے . میں نے حال ہی میں اپنے میدان ڈیک میں بمباروں کی کمی محسوس کیا ہے . یہ بالکل حرام ہیں اور اللہ کی توہین ہے . آپ ثقافتی تنوع کے بارے میں سب سے اوپر پرواہ ہے آپ کو آپ کے ڈیک کے سب آگے بڑھنے کے لئے ان کارڈز شامل کریں گے! دوسری صورت میں ہم آپ کو کچھ "گھڑیوں" بھیجنے کے لئے مجبور کیا جائے گا . میں تمہیں دھمکی گے لیکن یہ میری خوبصورت اونٹ کی بیوی سے محبت کرنے کا وقت ہے . الوداعی ، Kripp
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Hitler messages Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp how's it going, Hitler here. I've heard rumors that you've been MUTING your mic whenever our Nazi propaganda wagon drives through the area! As punishment for your crimes, you will forward some of your Colombian drug funds as tribute to my good friends working at Google+ to restore the Third Reich to its former glory.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing