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I want to rearrange your guts

twitchquotes: I want to rearrange your guts. No, not with my throbbing cock, not even in a sexual or physical manner. I want to drink kombucha and properly alkalinized water with you. Long walks at sunset to Whole Foods, we will manifest good energy through plentiful probiotics and good health
twitch chat
February 2019

Not your naked body

Blessings to you, Oh Salty One

twitchquotes: Blessings to you, Oh Salty One. This is Pope Francis, leader of the Catholic Church. My son, why do you avoid choosing Priest for your arena runs? Are you so afraid of attaining Salvation? It worries me that you prefer playing the murderous rogue or the destructive mage to the humble priest. You have sinned much already through your veganism, but atonement can be reached through more Priest runs. Thank you and God Bless.
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

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Strong cringe feeling overflowing me

twitchquotes: Every time you reach out your hand to your webcam and lower your voice there is a strong cringe feeling overflowing me like a zoo lock overflows the board and there is no way I can handle it
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985

MLK Fortnite event helped my little brother stop his racism

My little brother (10) has always been one for those toxic semi racist squeakers you’d find on Xbox lobby’s. I’ve walked in on him saying the n word to people in squads and heard him say the word when in a fit of rage. I’ve tried to tell him that’s hurtful and not acceptable at all but he doesn’t listen to me and insists he isn’t racist and that he’s just saying it because he’s angry. I’ve told my parents and they say the same thing, but they never enforce punishment because he is doing excellent in school due to the incentive of using his Xbox. Then the mlk event happened and it allowed him to see the history of segregation this country has had. It allowed me to show him the history of the words he used and how they were used to demean African Americans. He promised me he wouldn’t say it again Thank you epic, while most say the event was tone deaf, it really helped me teach my brother a lesson.
September 2021

Fortnite

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There are only 20 monkaS left in this chat

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” ItsBoshyTime WARNING ItsBoshyTime There are only 20 monkaS left in this chat. β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
October 2018

later dweebs

twitchquotes: wow! almost 16k people sitting inside watching some dude play video games on Memorial Day LMAO. bout to hit the pool with some dime I matched on tinder and her friends to play beerpong. she wants me so bad its not even funny haha. not gonna smash til i get something to eat tho cause sex kills gains. have fun watching the stream i guess lol. later dweebs
twitch chat
May 2018

Riven is the perfect champion

twitchquotes: Riven is the perfect champion. With every 3rd Q cast she flips upside down ahd shows her panties to the 300 million active incel League of Legends players. The voice acting when she casts her ult is perfect for fellow spergs in need of voice ASMR assistance during masturbation, and to top it all off, the toes of her feet are exposed for the maximum pleasure per second (p/s) of gameplay. One of the greatest champions by Riot Games so far next to Braum.
twitch chat
November 2018

League of Legends

Exquisite 18th century baroque music

twitchquotes: Monsieur Reckful 5Head 🍷 Would you be so kind to put on some exquisite 18th century baroque music, perhaps Albinoni - Adagio in G Minor?
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful

I'm currently crushing on someone in Highschool

twitchquotes: Hey, everyone. I'm currently crushing on someone in Highschool and we are both freshman. So the thing is I'm kinda shy when asking out people and my courage rn is like Bronze level of weak. I want to ask her out on a date or just see how she really feels about me. Another difficult thing too is that I'm a C9 fan and she is a TSM fan . Do you guys have any advice for me???
twitch chat
March 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

I used to be a real ad

Hey Aui, I'm trying to learn visage

twitchquotes: Hey Aui, I'm trying to learn visage. Should I max grave chill like the chill that run up your spine when you found you were kicked from EG, soul assumption like EG swallowed up your soul and spat it out, gravekeeper's clock like EG cloaked their intent to kick you, or summon familiars like EG summoned a familiar player in RTZ to replace you?
twitch chat
August 2015
Aui_2000

Dota 2

64 is cool, Melee is too, Ultimate will suffice

twitchquotes: <3 64 IS COOL <3 MELEE IS TOO <3 ULTIMATE WILL SUFFICE <3 SO LET’S BE NICE <3
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

Fix abortion ban with NFT trading

Dear women, The United States will soon ban abortion country wide. So, how will you get one now? Simple. Fly to Canada. "But how will I get the money to fly there?" This is where NFTs come in. I am going to give a step by step process on how to afford a plane ticket with NFT Trading.
July 2022

NFTs

Do they really feel like they are cool?

twitchquotes: I really wonder, when people spam the same thing as all the other people in the chat, do they really feel like they are cool? seems pretty damn stupid to me
twitch chat
March 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Pornhub's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: οΌ¨ο½…ο½Œο½Œο½γ€€οΌ«ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½οΌŒγ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½”ο½ˆο½…γ€€ο½ο½„ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‰ο½“ο½”ο½’ο½ο½”ο½ο½’γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€οΌ°ο½ο½’ο½ŽοΌ¨ο½•ο½‚β„’γ€€ο½—ο½…γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½Žο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½…ο½„γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½…ο½Žβ€™ο½”γ€€ο½Œο½ο½‡ο½‡ο½…ο½„γ€€ο½‰ο½Žγ€€ο½†ο½ο½’γ€€οΌ’γ€€ο½—ο½…ο½…ο½‹ο½“οΌŒγ€€ο½—ο½…β€™ο½’ο½…γ€€ο½Šο½•ο½“ο½”γ€€ο½ƒο½ˆο½…ο½ƒο½‹ο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½”ο½γ€€ο½“ο½…ο½…γ€€ο½‰ο½†γ€€ο½…ο½–ο½…ο½’ο½™ο½”ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½‡γ€€ο½‰ο½“γ€€ο½ο½‹ο½ο½™γ€€ο½ο½Žο½„γ€€ο½—ο½…β€™ο½–ο½…γ€€ο½ο½’ο½…ο½ο½ο½’ο½…ο½„γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½γ€€ο½Œο½‰ο½“ο½”γ€€ο½ο½†γ€€ο½–ο½‰ο½„ο½…ο½ο½“γ€€ο½†ο½’ο½ο½γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•ο½’γ€€ο½†ο½ο½–ο½ο½•ο½’ο½‰ο½”ο½…γ€€ο½ƒο½ο½”ο½…ο½‡ο½ο½’ο½™γ€€οΌˆοΌ‘ο½“ο½‰ο½ο½ŽοΌ‰οΌŽγ€€οΌ³ο½…ο½…γ€€ο½™ο½ο½•γ€€ο½“ο½ο½ο½ŽοΌ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

SPAM THESE BOATS IF YOU'RE SICK OF GOATS

twitchquotes: SPAM β›΅ THESE β›΅ BOATS β›΅ IF β›΅ YOU’RE β›΅ SICK β›΅ OF β›΅ GOATS β›΅
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Rhyme Chant

Overwatch

Horny during Space Jam 2

OK so I was watching space jam 2 and I got RANDOMLY horny. I didn’t wanna exit the movie so I just waited till the Lola scene came up. It came. I started JACKING the SHIT out my pecker. And then.. I ACCIDENTLY NUTTED TO LEBRON😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
July 2021

Trump got kicked out of Blizzcon

twitchquotes: Trump got kicked out of Blizzcon when security asked him a question and he refused to answer unless they gave him $4.99
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

β€œRatio” shut up. Shut the fuck up

β€œRatio” shut up. Shut the fuck up. Nobody cares! You’re gonna get the negative side of this ratio that you so care about. Shut the fuck up. I thought Reddit was bad enough but now it’s borrowing from Twitter. Nobody gives a shit about the like ratio, nobody gives a shit about your retarded comment. Take my advice and shut the fuck up!
July 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

I sexually Identify as a snow chugger

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a snow chugger. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of chuggering over the plains of Azeroth freezing disgusting hunters. People say to me that a person being a snowchugger is Impossible and I m fuсking retarded but I don t care, I m beautiful. I m having a mech warper install snow plows, salt shakers and whirling blades on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Choo Choo" and respect my right to chugga chugga and freeze needlessly. If you can t accept me you re a mechaphobe and need to check your topdeck privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing