[Copypasta] There are only 20 monkaS left in this chat

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— ItsBoshyTime WARNING ItsBoshyTime There are only 20 monkaS left in this chat. ————————————————————————
twitch chat
October 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

There is a bunch of Twitch overlords

twitchquotes: There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. deIlluminati
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

EU also known as "Easily Upset"

twitchquotes: EU also known as "Easily Upset" is the most overhyped region at Masters 2. Since they gave up on winning the event, they are investing in speedruns. They are current world record holders in fastest map lost and Airport Any %
twitch chat
June 2021

EU vs NA

Valorant

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

Take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ or the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ

twitchquotes: ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ Hey Kripp, You take the ʕ•͡ᴥ•ʔ - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ - you stay in Dongerland and I show you how deep the arena-hole goes. ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

the unluckiest human ever

twitchquotes: BREAKING NEWS - scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's chess game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but I just keep lowrolling and going eif!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
September 2021
k3soju

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing