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what do you say when you come? murk durgle
About 5 years ago I was making a character on an RPG and my ex girlfriend was sitting next to me talking to me and asking me questions about my game. I had a dwarf and dreamed up the name Murk Durgle. My ex hated that name and said it felt gross, like the word moist.
I shrugged it off. We went about our day and after putting the kids to bed we started having sex. She tells me she's about to come and I bellow out "MUUUURRRKKKK DUUUURGLE" and she punches me in the chest and yelled at me "what the fuck dude?! You fucking murk durgled me?! Give me my vibrator and get the fuck out"
Then I sat out in the kitchen laughing for a few minutes
Molediver Hypers
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠋⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⠃⣾⡇⢸⣿⠟⢡⡆⢸
⡿⠿⡏⢸⣇⢹⣿⠟⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⡿⠋⢥⡀⠈⠻⢰⣿⡇⠸⠏⣴⣿⠄⣼
⠄⡄⠁⢸⣿⡄⠏⠄⡆⠘⡄⠄⠄⠈⣭⣵⣿⡎⣅⣠⡤⠘⠟⣡⣶⣶⣍⠋⠄⡙
⠄⣿⠄⢘⣋⣃⠄⢀⣿⠄⢃⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⠟⠁⢹⣇⣀⣤⣤⣶⡤⠈⣿⡆⢠⡇
⠄⡿⢰⣿⣿⣿⡧⢸⣿⡆⠞⣀⠄⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾⣿⡿⠿⠋⠉⢉⠠⣾⣿⣷⢸⢀
⡀⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇⢀⣨⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣉⡀⠰⣾⡄⠄⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⠘⣼
⣷⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣙⠿⠁⣿⠿⠋⡁⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⠄⣀⣈⣁⣈⣉⠹⡀⣿
⣿⡄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢰⣶⣿⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⠁⣿
⣿⡇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠸⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⠿⠋⣰⣧⠙⢿⣿⣿⠃⣸⢰⣿
⣿⣿⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⣠⣴⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡤⢀⣴⡿⢨⣿
⣿⣿⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣠⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿
⣿⣿⣇⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠁⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⠇⢸⣿
Teamfight Tactics
When soup, my spoon automatically go to bowl
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ｗｈｅｎ ｓｏｕｐ， ｍｙ ｓｐｏｏｎ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｂｏｔｔｏｍ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｂｏｗｌ． ｉ ｔａｓｔｅ ｔｈｅ ｍｏｒｅ ｆｌａｖｏｕｒ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ｈａｖｉｎｇ ｓｅｘ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｓｐｉｃｅ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｆｕｃｋ ｙｏｕ
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Kripp
ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?
ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you? 💦😉 🧻Corona🤧 is CUMMING💦 for us and you’ve just tested 😱positive🦠 for being 💋NAUGHTY😉 🙅♀️Social distancing is in effect🚫 and I want to spend my 🤷♂️quarenTEEN🔞 with YOU 😍 So grab your 🧴isopropyl-lubricant 💦 and CUM👅 over so I can administer👩⚕️ your treatment😉 and inject💉 you with the vaccine🍆 We’ll spend the 🗝lockdown🔒 flattening the curve📉 and FATTENING DEM’ 👏🏿 CURVES 🍑 Get ready for 14 days of 💯THICC DICC DIAGNOSTICS😭 and sitting on my facemask😷 Send this ✉️ to covid-19 of your sloppiest 💦💦SYMPTOMATIC🤒 SLUTS🤫 If you get 5 back, you’re a Wuhan bat🦇 bitch 👎 If you get 10 back, you’re a 😉horny💄healthy💪hoe😘 If you get all 19 back👏 your ass🍑 is the ANTIDOTE💊 and it’s in high demand 👬🏿
Emoji Pasta
Coronavirus
COVID
Geepsy from Romania dreams to play Cardstone
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Ｉ ａｍ Ｇｅｅｐｓｙ ｆｒｏｍ Ｒｏｍａｎｉａ． Ａｌｌ ｏｆ ｍｙ ｌｉｆｅ Ｉ ｈａｖｅ ｄｒｅａｍｅｄ ｔｏ ｐｌａｙ ａｇａｉｎｓｔ ｔｏｐ ｐｌａｙｅｒｓ ｌｉｋｅ Ｄｅｎｎｉｓ ａｎｄ ｒａｙ ｎａｄｓ ｉｎ Ｃａｒｄｓｔｏｎｅ． Ｍｙ ｇｉｒｌｆｒｉｅｎｄ Ａｌｅｘｔｒａｓｚａ ｓｏｌｄ ｏｕｒ ｆａｒｍ ｔｏ ａｃｈｉｅｖｅ ｍｙ ｄｒｅａｍ． Ｗｉｓｈ ｍｅ ｌｕｃｋ ａｔ Ｄｒｅａｍｈａｃｋ！
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