[Copypasta] later dweebs

twitchquotes: wow! almost 16k people sitting inside watching some dude play video games on Memorial Day LMAO. bout to hit the pool with some dime I matched on tinder and her friends to play beerpong. she wants me so bad its not even funny haha. not gonna smash til i get something to eat tho cause sex kills gains. have fun watching the stream i guess lol. later dweebs
twitch chat
May 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass

TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking. This is where things got weird. As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with β€œyes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with β€œwhat’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?” I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again. TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
July 2022

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what?

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what? I'm waiting for the "right one", there's nothing wrong with that. Just because I'm 36 doesn't make it "weird" or make me a "loser". I have standards. I'm not going to give away my state of chastity to some bar/club "whore"; that's just not the kind of guy I am. I require a REAL women that will hold and care for me gently, and who can, above all else, love me for who I am. Once I find that person, I'll happily donate my virginity away. Until then, I am fine being a virgin. Besides, I have a fleshlight, so it's not like I don't know how it feels anyway. Maybe one day you immature keyboard cretins will understand that life isn't about just having sex for the accomplishment, it's about love and finding the "one" to share that experience with.
September 2021

Kripp ignores chat draft

twitchquotes: As a young boy, Kripp lived with his family in a chateau in Romania. Kripp had a younger sister who was born frail and prone to illness. The family always took special care to make sure she was never too cold or hot. One day Kripp's parents were late and told Kripp to put his sister to bed. Kripp accidentally left the window of the chateau open, his sister contracted pneumonia and died. At the funeral, his father sobbed and said "My son, why did you ignore the chat draft?"
twitch chat
November 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

My Kripprecious

twitchquotes: They cursed us. Casual they called us. They cursed us, and drove us away. And we wept, Precious, we wept to be so alone. And we forgot the taste of ARPGs...the sound of grinderino...the softness of our gaming chair. We even forgot our own name. My Kripprecious.
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

Sanic Hegehog

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–€β–β–„β–‘β–€β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–ˆβ•β•β•β•β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„ β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€ β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
July 2015
Text-to-Speech Playing