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Approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Who asked?

According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 days of life (985.5 trillion days). Not once in any of those days did anybody ask.
November 2021

Who Asked?

Discord made me racist

Last time when I was 9 years old, my 29 years old roblox friend told me to download an app called discord. So after using discord for 3 years, I found multiple racist servers that I joined. They all send nazi and geroge floyd. They say n word and shit and now I say the n word too. I think saying n word is so funny. I say heil hitler too πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Everytime I post gore, me and the boys can’t stop laughing. We jack off to fortnite sex too. I am now racist and a nazi πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
June 2021

Discord

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on β–ˆβ–ˆ/β–ˆβ–ˆ/201β–ˆ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985

Infinite Cum Part 3

Your release had increased so much that they could no longer contain you. Your cum has consumed the entirety of the cosmos. Humanity is without a shred of doubt, gone. You are alone in the universe. If there were aliens, they are dead now. It’s over. In despair, you mourn the death of the scientists, of humanity, of everyone. You realize you'll never hear her sweet and calming voice, see her proud body. Your sad. Your terrified. Chronicles pass. The last stars in the universe eclipse. You silently watch as the last atoms break into protons, into quarks, into mere beams of weak energy that disperse along the vertical ropes. But the ropes no longer play their docile music. They have gonne silent. You watch, helplessly, as the Last mozon is engulfed into the ever expanding plane of Cum. Your own creation destroys the very own universe, defying the own plan of existence. You are alone. You scream, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You cry, but nothing descends from your eyes. Do you even have eyes? All you can see is the torrid Instotucional white across the whole of the Universe. Entire Gans eclipse before your eyes, but then you realize the horror: The Cum turned against you. With nothing more to consume, your sons turned against their father, and begin to consume you. You tremble. There's nothing to do. The huge weight impacts you like if whole planets fell onto your shoulders. Your alone. In your last moments, a odd sentiment of peace invades you for the first time since the early days of the universe. It's finally gonna end. You think about all the people that you've met during your stay in this universe. In the end, you think about the researcher. About her arms. Her breasts. You feel... good. For the first time in many hipereons. You jack off it. It's so.... good, you come at the right time, freeing the constrained cum from your menber. You open your eyes, and behold the bathroom door. You are Ok. You remember everything. It's all over. You exit the bathroom after jacking off again, going back to your old life. The cum stops.
April 2022

Infinite Cum

the earth is actually a dome

the reality is that the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. just like the flat earth debate, the truth is in the middle. the earth is not round nor purely flat; it is a dome
October 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled

STOP POSTING ABOUT SQUID GAME!

STOP POSTING ABOUT SQUID GAME! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT, MY FRIENDS ON TIK TOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD ITS FUCKING MEMES. I was in a server, right? AND ALL OF THE CHANNELS ARE JUST SQUID GAME STUFF. I SHOWED MY NEW TRACKSUIT TO MY GIRLFRIEND AND I SAID "hey babe, I'm on squid game." HAHA MUGUNGHWA KKOCHI PIOTASEUMNIDA, I FUCKING LOOKED AT A MAN GETTING SHOT AND SAID, "Uh oh, he failed this game!" I LOOKED AT THE HEAD OF MY PENIS, I THINK OF THE SUPERVISOR'S MASK AND I GO "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUPERVISOR," AAAAAAAAA
November 2021

Squid Game

A scholar hates twitch chat

The myriad of idiosyncratic atrocities bestowed on this chat from these juvenile delinquents have caused a monstruous amount of turmoil and I cannot fathom this type of malignancy. These futile behaviors have abruptly penetrated the purity of my dear soul.
June 2021

What is so funny about copypasta?

What is so funny about copypasta? Someone put a lot of time in writing out a wall of text, and all you do is just copy and paste it? Unbelievable. Freaking unbelievable. It is so fucking disrespectful for the original writter to have his thoughts repeated over and over just for some kind of sick joke. You fools know the navy seal copypasta, right? People chuckle at it because he was "very mad". Well, think about it, motherfucker. What if he WAS very mad? What if he actually had feelings and his day was ruined? Ever think about it like that? No, of course not. You tools just took his words over and over and used it for shits and giggles. How fucking rude. At this point, my 3 page essay on why I think cancel culture is cancer could be used as a copypasta. That is just fucking wrong on so many levels. I'm not going to write out a copypasta myself, because I don't want my words to be shat out over and over again. I'm just expressing my thoughts and feelings on the abuse of copypasta. It just needs to fucking stop
January 2020

Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you?

Oh I'm sorry snowflake, did I OFFEND you? Do you want a bandaid? Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? I will kiss you. I will do it. Right on the mouth. Come here snowflake.. that's it.. your lips are so soft, snowflake.. mnnhm... ah...... snowflake..........
January 2022

Politics

I downloaded Sonic games on my school computer

So yesterday in class we were all given our new Windows computers (last year, I hacked the chromebooks so they could play Sonic Advance) and I immediately downloaded twenty-five PC Sonic games within one hour and installed two dozen emulators to play the console and handheld ones. After we all got our computers, I bragged about having the ability to play 60 Sonic games. The teacher confisticated my computer and said I would have to use the chromebooks for the rest of the year. She also said that Sonic was a dead franchise and that Fortnite was better in every way. That was really no good and SLOW of her! So I ripped my computer out of my Sonic-hating teacher and screamed "YOU SLUTTY SLOW SONIC HATER! YOU'RE JUST TOO SLOW!" I also went to her macbook, and deleted Fortnite and installed more Sonic games and played Gotta Go Fast to the whole class. She gave me an F, which is impossible since E is the lowest rank and S is the highest, and sent me to the principal's office, where I was suspended and they called my parents, who took away my Game Gear. When I get back, I'll make sure they pay for being TOO SLOW.
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

Amogus Army

π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Called my overweight female friend a heckin chonker today and now she won’t talk to me

My female friend was crying about how fat she was and I was trying to comfort her by telling her that she didn’t look that fat but she kept accusing me of lying to make her feel bad so I thought that saying β€œmaybe your just a heckin chonker” would cheer her up and lighten the mood but she just looked at me and left. I hope she realised that I was only being nice and that she is being irrational.
August 2021

Does anyone here know what Suge Knight is?

I bought a whole bunch of Suge Knight Albums, do you know who Suge Knight is? Anybody know who Suge Knight is? No, not shungite, those stupid fuckin rocks that crazy antivaxxers buy. I'm talkin' Suge Knight. Anyways, he's a popular music executive, but now in prison because he murdered somebody. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of albums. Put 'em around the la casa. Little records, stuff like that.
January 2022
DrDisRespectLIVE

Shungite

AITA for wanting to play Fortnite?

My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?
March 2021

Fortnite

Am I The Asshole?

AITA for drop kicking my 2 month old sister down the stairs?

Some backstory required: Earlier today I was trying to relax but she wouldn't stop fucking making annoying ass googoo gaga noises. So today, I see her, and she is actually standing up! First I think to take a picture and tell my parents, but than I remember what an entitled bitch she is. I run forward, and leap forward and plant both my feet in her face as we both tumble down the stairs. I told my parents that she crawked in front of me whilst I was about to use the stairs so I'm out of trouble, and the surgery went fine and she is basically fine although she seems to have fucking learned her lesson as she 'talks' a lot less now. Next time she does this I'm uppercutting her entitled little baby skull
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

What happened to this ad? :(

The year is 2035, you buy g fuel with doge coin

The year is 2035, you enter your local 7/11 to buy yourself a g fuel before your shift in the local crypto mine. The android working the counter says they only accept doge coin. You pull out your phone, draw a stick man in less than five seconds on a yellow back ground and then sell it as an NFT. From the sell you make 6 doge coin, about 5 million dollars in old world money. You go to buy the drink only to find out that from the time you closed your phone to the time you talked to the cashier the coins had dropped in value to only 3 dollars per coin and you now owe at least 10 doge coin to the robot for the gamer fuel. You leave the store, frustrated, and drive off in your Tesla
December 2021

Cryptocurrency

What Is This + Ratio

what is this + L + ratio + wrong + get a job + unfunny + you fell off + never liked you anyway + cope + ur allergic to gluten + don't care + cringe ur a kid + literally shut the fuck up + galileo did it better + your avi was made in MS Excel + ur bf is kinda ugly + i have more subscribers + owned + ur a toddler + reverse double take back + u sleep in a different bedroom from your wife + get rekt + i said it better + u smell + copy + who asked + dead game + seethe + ur a coward + stay mad + you main yuumi + aired + you drive a fiat 500 + the hood watches xqc now + yo mama + ok + currently listening to rizzle kicks without u. plus ur mind numbingly stupid plus ur voice is ronald mcdonald.
May 2022

Ratio

If Jeff Bezos gave everyone on this planet $1 billion

Jeff Bezos net worth is $185.3 Billion There is 7.8 billion people on earth If he gave everyone on this planet $1 billion, he would still have $177.5 billion This is why we must #TaxTheRich
August 2021

You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!

You ACTUALLY consider yourself to be a TRUE hip hop fan?!? HA! Let me guess, you listen to basic trap trash like Lil Baby, Gunna, Trippie Redd, DaBaby, Roddy Rich, Young Thug, Travis Scott, A$AP Rocky, Kanye West, Lil Uzi Vert, and Playboi Carti. I would never touch that garbage. You see, I listen to REAL HIP HOP: BROCKHAMPTON, Denzel Curry, and Tyler, the Creator. You really think those artists would ever take influence let alone ever listen to those GARBAGE artists?!?!?!?!? NEVER.
January 2022
What happened to this ad? :(

Response to the Vaporeon copypasta (Vaporeons are dangerous)

Hey guys did you know that in terms of water Pokemon inland, Vaporeon would be very capable of hunting grown humans? Their bodies being the size of a medium dog and weight are just enough to pounce on a man and throw him to the ground. Their bulky stats would allow them to shrug off and outlast any attempts by the human to fight them off, and that's not getting even into moves like Hydro Pump and Scald. But that's not all these water dogs have up their sleeves. Their bodies being so similar to water not only lets them hide in bodies of water and become nearly invisible to catch prey off guard, but allows them to enter the body through almost any orifice. Things do not get any better once a Vaporeon is inside of you. If asphyxiation doesn't kill you, the internal bleeding and displacement of internal organs certainly will. In addition, they are able to learn Charm, allowing them to take advantage of certain... desires humans may have and create even more opportunities to go in for the kill. But wait, there's more. Since Vaporeon is an omnivore, its cells would need to be able to digest proteins, such as those in meat. This only opens even more possibilities as to what these creatures are capable of.
March 2022

Pokemon

Text-to-Speech Playing