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spagootie

sometimes i like to pronounce spaghetti as "spagootie" and it has been working out fantastically so far. honestly, this single change has improved my life more than you could ever imagine. i highly suggest everyone try this out and see where your life goes. probably make all your dreams come true in like 5 business days. next time you have a big bowl of piping hot marina drenched pasta in front of you say "spagootie time!!" or maybe something like "im so ready for this spagootie!" and see where the magic will take you.
April 2022

Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine

Meanwhile in Call of Duty, true gamers laugh about Battlefield's primitive physics engine. Arma was an attempt by a failing Czech developer to make Call of Duty 'more realistic'. However due to the fact that Call of Duty was already as realistic as a video game can possibly be, they panicked. They made a shameless rip-off and slapped 'military simulator' on the front. True gamers are smart enough to know this, hence why Arma averages 67 on Metacritic, whereas Call of Duty averages 98-100. Call of Duty players laugh down at players of every other game, knowing they are Call of Duty rip-offs. Call of Duty is the most realistic video game with the most advanced engine. The world's leading video game scientists have confirmed this, so it isn't as much 'thinking' as it is 'knowing'. And Call of Duty can't possibly RIP those games off. Call of Duty was the first video game, so there wasn't anything for it to rip off.
August 2021

Call of Duty

Waiting for adblock to be disabled

Hafu is jealous of Rania

twitchquotes: Kripp!!! I am very sad and jealous that you are letting this ‘‘underflowr’’ have all your salt every night, please talk to me again with love your made in china wife Hafu ♡♡♡ Plz no copy pasterino ching chong ping pong nipnong changerino noodlerino bok choy kung paorino
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

A full golden Hearthstone collection

twitchquotes: Lieutenant General Octavian, we regret to inform you that the Chinese have successfully built a full golden Hearthstone collection before you with their superior economy and rng. You are hereby relieved of all duties pertaining to the hell we call Hearthstone...It's over, Kripp.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is Kevin Kuntmeyer from P.E.T.A. It has come to my attention that you brutally brofisted a small defenseless Kitten in its adorable face live on your stream moments ago. If you do not apologize and rub his little tum tum for 20 minutes on stream, I will be forced to punish you to the fullest extent of the law. You've been warned...
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

I just lost my virginity and said Poggers

I just lost my virginity and said Poggers Ok so we were flirting and he took of his pants and started to rub his bulge then he pulls his dick out, I dead ass said “ that’s pretty pog” he then broke up with me after we were done 💀
July 2021

Qtpie's doctor messages Qtpie about his donger cream needs

twitchquotes: Hello Qtpie, it's your doctor, DR. Dong calling about your donger cream needs, you havn't picked up your prescription in quite a while and we are worried your donger may be dry and crusty
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter?

Yeah I read that too. Are you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Is that your thing? You come into a thread, you copy some obscure passage and then paste it off as your own idea just to impress some of your "crew" and downvote my friend? See the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life One, you are a talentless and unoriginal hack. And two, you wasted time trying to post other people's thoughts as your own while you could've been honing your skills to be actually creative instead of a thoughtless loser with a paste fetish.
August 2021

OJ warriors

twitchquotes: Wᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴏғ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴅᴇᴘᴇʀᴇssɪᴏɴ ᴍʏ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs. Kʀɪᴘᴘ ɪs ᴛᴇsᴛɪɴɢ ᴏᴜʀ ғᴀɪᴛʜ ʙʏ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ʙᴀᴅ ᴄᴀsᴜᴀʟ ɢᴀᴍᴇs ᴀs ᴀ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛ ʀᴇsᴜʟᴛ ᴏғ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴜɴʜᴏʟʏ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀɴ ᴇᴠɪʟ ᴡɪᴛᴄʜ. Iᴛ ɪs ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇsᴛɪɴʏ ᴀs OJ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀs ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀᴘᴜᴄɪɴᴏ ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪs ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴇғᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀʟᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡᴇ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Atheists … what if you die and you find out it is all real?

I’m not trying to be an asshole. Think about this before answering. Atheists … what if you die and you find out it is all real? God, the Bible, Jesus, death on a cross, resurrection … all of it. What then?
June 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Kripp is MY MAN

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp's Gay Greek Boyfriend, you piece of el dog shiterino. The Kripp is MY MAN. And you better back the fuck off. Plz no copy pasterino al pacino pistachio
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Best Polish one arm player

twitchquotes: i, my name Andrzej Waclawski, I'm Polish war veteran. In war of world 2 I lose right arm, never to grow back. My dream of become rank one superstar Polish Cardstone player make shattered forever. I like to get tip from the Kripp how I can become best Polish one arm player. Please no copytovski pasterovski
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

SHOVE A HAMSTER

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ SHOVE A HAMSTER IN MY ASS ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

The emotion of the topdeck, the salt of the defeat

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp remember you don't play for the gold or for the wins, you play to feel the emotion on the topdick, the PJSalt on the defeat, you live for the BM, because you can be one with your cards, but mostly because at least through the match you're free. plz no linguini
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

Mythological Topdecking Skills

twitchquotes: Eᴜʀᴇᴋᴀ, Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ! I ᴀᴍ Pᴇʀɪᴋʟᴇs Tᴇsᴛɪᴋʟᴇs, Rᴀɴɪᴀ's ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ. Wᴇ ᴀʀᴇ so ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ sʜᴇ ʜᴀs ғɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ғoᴜɴᴅ ᴀ ʙᴇᴀʀᴅᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ wɪᴛʜ ᴍʏᴛʜoʟoɢɪcᴀʟ ᴛoᴘᴅᴇcᴋɪɴɢ sᴋɪʟʟs ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ sɪᴢᴀʙʟᴇ ᴍoᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴ ɢɪᴀɴᴛ! Kᴜᴅos ᴛo ʏoᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘʟs ɴo ᴀɴɢʀʏ cʜɪcᴋᴇɴ ᴛᴇᴛʀᴀᴢᴢɪɴo.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
What happened to this ad? :(

Why are Chess Players so Racist?

Every time I here a chess player talk about race, they always say stuff like “I’m so glad that I am white this game” or “He was black, so he didn’t stand much of a chance that game”. Seriously, what is up with this blatant racism guys??? It’s getting so bad I am even hearing this sort of shit from some Indian players as well. Your color doesn’t mean anything, you are still the same person!!!!!!
August 2021

Chess

This the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is the leader of all Greek people, John Stamos. It is with great pain that I have to ask you to leave my country. Everyone is afraid of the "very casual looking man" with the "perverted fists." I am sorry but you're not welcome here anymore. No Copopolous Pastopolous Linguinoristopoulos
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I miss the old no life Kripp

twitchquotes: I miss the old no life Kripp. It's a shame a game like Hearthstone has turned him from the no life all day "hardcore gamer" to someone with a life and a girlfriends with tons of money. Kripp I will now unsub to you and pray for you that one day you will come back to what you once were and not the $$ making girl kissing gamer with a life, that is all
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Please stop the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ in your chat

twitchquotes: Hello KRIPP aka GRIPPARRIAN. Please stop the ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ in your chat. I am from dubai and "ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ " means "your aunt has a goat ***" in arabic. I am watching with family after my aunt's funeral and we all find this extremely offensive. Will subscribe so you can fist me like a bro when it stops. Please no dan marino gran torino
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
I used to be a real ad

People space jammed from the oldest of times

twitchquotes: From the oldest of times, people jammed for a number of reasons. They jammed in prayer... or so that their crops would be plentiful... or so their hunt would be good. And they Jammed to stay physically fit... and show their community spirit. And they Jammed to celebrate." And that is the Jamming we're talking about. Aren't we told in Psalm 149 "Praise ye the Lord Octavian. Slam Jam unto the Lord Octavian a new song. Let them praise His name in the Space Jam"? And it was King David - King David, who we read about in Samuel - and what did David do? What did David do? He jammed
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing