[Copypasta] Please don't use Kappa

twitchquotes: I am from Japan and was raised hearing terrifying stories about kappas from my grandfather. Those are horrible turtle-like monsters who lure and kill children. And then I join this site and see you use it as a joke with a grey faced man. This is not right! I am scared of using the chat now, bringing me bad memories. Please, don't use that emote.
twitch chat
September 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Sonic Inflation

Today I learned that in 2003 the fast food company “Sonic” began printing out their own money to pay their workers. This led to a huge inflation in the economy and was one of the leading factors of the 2008-2009 recession. Would highly recommend looking up Sonic Inflation on google if you want to learn more.
April 2021

I spotted Wardell shopping at my local IKEA

twitchquotes: Earlier today, I spotted Wardell shopping at my local IKEA. He looks very depressed and I asked him, "Whats wrong" He took out 5 Jett knives and said, "WATCH THIS" and carved the furniture into statues of him. He was arrested shortly after.
twitch chat
June 2021
WARDELL

Valorant

3Head emote v2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠄⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠐⠀⠤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣍⣩⣉⣙⡻⢿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠼⠟⠋⢉⣠⣤⣤⣤⣬⣙⡛⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠁⠒⠿⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡇⠘⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣤⡀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠋⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡀⠀⢠⣴⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⡇⠀⡿⠃⣴⣶⣿⠛⠋⠉⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⣿⣶⣦⠀⠙⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣧⠀⠁⠀⠈⢻⣿⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⡤⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⣠⣼⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠟⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣧⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
September 2021

MY NAMES HIKO IM A BAITER

twitchquotes: MY NAMES HIKO 4Head IM A BAITER 4Head ILL MEET YOU AT THE BOMBSITE 4Head A LITTLE BIT LATER
twitch chat
June 2021
Hiko

Valorant

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing