[Copypasta] Please don't use Kappa

twitchquotes: I am from Japan and was raised hearing terrifying stories about kappas from my grandfather. Those are horrible turtle-like monsters who lure and kill children. And then I join this site and see you use it as a joke with a grey faced man. This is not right! I am scared of using the chat now, bringing me bad memories. Please, don't use that emote.
twitch chat
September 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I accidentally ran over my wife’s pet rabbit with my car

So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming it’s head off. She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left. I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out. He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream. I didn’t know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didn’t want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump. I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I don’t know what to do, I’m writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur. Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update
May 2022

Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle

twitchquotes: There is one sign the Kripparrian can make that would be unmistakable, that would advance dramatically the cause of freedom and peace. General Secretary Morosan, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for Twitch and Youtube, if you seek liberalization, come here to this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, remove this wooden triangle. Mr. Morosan, tear down this wall!
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Yup, it's gamer time!

twitchquotes: No women: check. No leftists: check. No minorities: check. Yup, it’s gamer time!
twitch chat
April 2019

Hey Kripp, how's it going, Hero Academy 2 Dev here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, how's it going, Hero Academy 2 Dev here. We noticed that your salty streams are interesting and entertaining. To fix this issue, we have decided to offer you money to play our very uninteresting and boring card game that is clearly a clone of Hearthstone. We look forward to future business with you and hope that you can sellout out a little bit more in the future. ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

Minion Joker

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September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing