[Copypasta] Please don't use Kappa

twitchquotes: I am from Japan and was raised hearing terrifying stories about kappas from my grandfather. Those are horrible turtle-like monsters who lure and kill children. And then I join this site and see you use it as a joke with a grey faced man. This is not right! I am scared of using the chat now, bringing me bad memories. Please, don't use that emote.
twitch chat
September 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Expect some Netflix server issues

twitchquotes: Just a quick reminder. If you are a Netflix subscriber in the US East area - expect some server issues. Lots of single females are going to spend their day at home watching netflix and eating chocolate beacuse mason is not going to go out with them on valentines day because he is focused on getting Top 10 Rank in Dota 2.
twitch chat
June 2019
masondota2

Dota 2

CTRL WTF for Fancy WTF

twitchquotes: PogChamp PogChamp HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR โ„ฑ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ฌ๐”‚ ๐“ฆ๐“ฃโ„ฑ PogChamp PogChamp
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'โˆšฯ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

This is how dangerous parasocial relationships can form (twitter)

This is how dangerous parasocial relationships can form. Dream doesn't love you. He can't love you. Dream doesn't KNOW you. He can appreciate you but he can't fucking love you.
May 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing