[Copypasta] Please don't use Kappa

twitchquotes: I am from Japan and was raised hearing terrifying stories about kappas from my grandfather. Those are horrible turtle-like monsters who lure and kill children. And then I join this site and see you use it as a joke with a grey faced man. This is not right! I am scared of using the chat now, bringing me bad memories. Please, don't use that emote.
twitch chat
September 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Why Attack on Titan is a flawed anime

As a big fan of AoT, one big plothole that has always bugged me from the first episode is the exclusion of genitals. As titans are very clearly based on humans, and canonically are created from humans, why did Isayama decide to exclude Titan genitals? I am not a homo, (I have 2 girl friends) but seeing Eren transform into a titan with a 12 foot long cock as the people of Marley watch in horror would easily made this anime my favourite of all time. I think we should cancel Isayama on Twitter and get him to realise his mistake and redraw his previous chapters accurately.
January 2021

Hello Moonman or whatever your name is

twitchquotes: Hello Moonman or whatever your name is, I just wanted to tell you to please stop ruining my chat experience with these "smugs" and "smegs" and what not. Honestly, I find them absolutely infuriating to see in every chatroom I stumble upon. Fuck that dumb purple lady.
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON

It's not TOP totem, it's BOTTOM totem

twitchquotes: Kripp... In the cultures that use a totempole it's the ones on the bottom that have the most respect and are generally elders/seers. The top of the pole are the scrublords that barely deserve the recognition. So top totem is INCORRECT. It's BOTTOM totem.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
March 2021

Fortnite

Man-made sack containing balls

twitchquotes: Long ago in the land of Minecraft I noticed that the ink sacs were spelled sac, instead of sack, I got confused and googled it, I discovered that a sac is just an organic sack, part of an animal or whatnot, and now multiple years later, I’m coming to the realisation ball sacks shouldn’t be called ball sacks, they should be called ball sacs, a ball sack would be a man-made sack containing balls
twitch chat
March 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing