[Copypasta] notices you have a bulge

twitchquotes: Rawr~nuzzles how are you daddy? pounces on you you’re so warm. owo? notices you have a bulge. someone’s happy! nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe. rubbies your bulgy wolgy you’re so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn’t stop growing uwu kisses you and lickies your neck. do you likie? im wagging my wittle baby tail all for your bulgy wolgy! come on daddy dont keep me waiting~
twitch chat
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Sing2x this is your girlfriend

twitch chat
January 2015
SingSing

I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night

I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night. I know I know. Another "I had a dream about Jerma" post. I've been thinking about whether or not to post this for the last 3 days, since everyone and their grandmas are doing these posts. But whatever. Three nights ago I dreamt that I was watching a jerma stream and he did something so utterly hilarious that I bursted out laughing so hard that I actually woke up from it. I looked for my phone to write down what he was doing (because it was 2 am and I needed to go back to sleep) but I couldn't find it for the life of me. Then in the corner of my eye a webcam appeared and it was Jerma laughing his ass off saying "chat he can't find it" and "he doesn't know pepeface". I was still dreaming lmao. I saw chat and it was just a wall of OMEGALULs. The whole situation was hilarious so then I woke up for real this time. Unfortunately because of the nature of the dream I can't remember what he was doing originally that was so funny. I think he was choking on a piece of bread or something.
March 2022
Jerma985

Seoul Dynasty is just winning because...

twitchquotes: Seoul Dynasty is just winning because they go up against easy teams. It’s boosting their win ratio. They should go up against better teams to really show how good they are. I’m not calling them bad. I just want to clarify why they seem so good, even though they’re not.
twitch chat
March 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Chat would benefit from watching you play Xayah or Varus

twitchquotes: Hey Sneaky, I think chat would benefit from watching you play Xayah or Varus. We're all sex starved weebs and when you play Xayah and Varus we get to see you get your shit pushed in
twitch chat
March 2018
Sneaky

League of Legends

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday:

To the conservative suburban woman behind me in line at Subway yesterday: I’m sorry I kept referring to Fred’s liberally mayo’d oven-roasted chicken sub as a “bukkake special”. I’m sorry that you kept demanding that your teenage son explain why he was laughing so hard. I’m extra sorry that this turn of events led you to practically yelling “ETHAN, WHAT IS A BUKKAKE SPECIAL?” in the middle of a crowded restaurant.
August 2021
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Text-to-Speech Playing