[Copypasta] My son can be homer sexual

twitchquotes: My son πŸ‘¦πŸ» can be homer sexual πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ My daughter πŸ‘§πŸ» can be lebanese πŸ‘­ But I will NEVER ‼️ Raise a child πŸ‘ΆπŸ» who likes Jake and Logan Paul πŸ™…πŸ»β€
twitch chat
January 2018
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Lockwood Streets 112

twitchquotes: An MR-RL time. Me and Marc Rutzou. Me and fucking Marc Rutzou. That's fucking right. I skipped 1:13. I am a fucking legend. I've never SEEN a 1:13 and I never fucking will. 1:12 baby. Til the day I fucking die. YES!!! Bout time I get a fucking lucky break in this fucking game. MotherFUCKERS! And I CLUTCHED the goddamn grenade launcher. That's FUCKING right. Yeah it's this one. Right here IT'S THIS ONE! My insane pace. Right here! THIS is the 1:12. Right here. YES!!! It's fucking it. I'mma have to jus - I'mma have to find the actual whole vid of it and I'mma have to get it. DUUUUUUUDE WHAT A RUSH! WHAT A RUUUUUUSH! Watch this. Watch when I get the grenade launcher. (sorry) Look at that. See how fast my pace is? Right in the FUCKING HEAD!!! YEEEAAAHHH! Got a FUCKING 1:12 baby. That's RIGHT! You see that CLUTCHNESS? I AM FUCKING CCC-LUTCH! Look at this fucking line I take. I'm like, YEAH baby. Let's fucking DO this. I wait I wait I wait... Right when he starts firing to try to backboost me. The double. Body armor. Two quick ones. I already know I'm gettin' there on the perfect line. LOOK AT THE FUCKING PACE! FIFTY! FOURTY-NINE! MWH FOURTY-SEVEN BABY! That's FUCKING right. That's FUCKING IT! Fucking PUMPED watching this one again. I waited the cinema too 'cause i said oh my God it might be 1:12. And it FUCKING IS!!! IT FUCKING IS baby. YEAH!!! Look at me typing you guys. You guys didn't believe me. I am typing a storm. Dude I FUCKING just got Streets 1:12! It's not fucking comin' off. YES!!! I FUCKING DID IT THAT'S RIGHT! I SKIPPED 1:13 I'M A LEGEND. I AM A FUCKING LEGEND. I'm a FUCKING legend. (YES!) I am a fucking legend.
twitch chat
May 2020

Lapras

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β”€β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–“β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β–’β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–“ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–ˆ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ
April 2017

Pokemon

I don’t know what Overwatch is

twitchquotes: I don’t know what Overwatch is. There’s a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I don’t know. And then sometimes if that wasn’t bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when I’m getting a handle on what β€œJunkrat kin discourse” is yall show up with β€œThis is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniper” and then SHE’S part of the Overwatchers. β€œThis is Swedish Beefcake” could yall? not?? I still don’t know what a Hanzo is.
twitch chat
April 2021

Overwatch

When Kripp is afk, he fills his bathtube with salty tears

twitchquotes: When Kripp goes afk, he's filling up his bathtube with his salty tears. Full of Anger and bad Energy, he let the harmony of salt and warm HΒ²O take over. He is at a better place now, dreaming about freedom and peace.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing