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My son ๐ฆ๐ป can be homer sexual ๐ณ๏ธโ๐ My daughter ๐ง๐ป can be lebanese ๐ญ But I will NEVER โผ๏ธ Raise a child ๐ถ๐ป who likes Jake and Logan Paul ๐
๐ปโ
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I used to be a real ad
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So that was a bruh moment
twitchquotes:
She said she was โpregnant,โ but I wasnโt buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
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Here ๐ฆ CUMS ๐ฆ SANTA (Christmas Emoji Pasta)
Here ๐ฆCUMS๐ฆ ๐
๐ฝSanta Claus,๐
๐ฝ here ๐ฆCUMS๐ฆ ๐
๐ฝSanta Claus,๐
๐ฝ right down ๐ฉ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ฝslutty girl lane!๐ฉ๐ฝ๐ธ๐ฝ โ๐ซโ๐ซSTOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!โ๐ซโ๐ซ Is your ๐จ๐ป๐จ๐ปdaddy๐จ๐ป๐จ๐ป not giving you enough ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆcummies?!๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ Hold up,๐
๐ฝ๐
๐ฝ๐
๐ฝ ho! It's ๐ฆ๐ฆcummy๐ฆ๐ฆ โ๏ธ๐ฆโ๏ธSEASON!โ๏ธ๐ฆโ๏ธ Pushโ๐ฝโ๐ฝ that ๐จ๐ป๐จ๐ปdaddy๐จ๐ป๐จ๐ป to the โฉโฉsideโฉโฉ and let a ๐๐ฝNEW๐๐ฝ father in ๐กYOUR CHIMNEY!! ๐ก ๐
๐ฝ๐
๐ฝ๐
๐ฝFather CHRISTMAS,๐
๐ฝ๐
๐ฝ๐
๐ฝ the ๐๐KING๐๐ of ๐ฆcummies!๐ฆ That's right,๐๐ผ he's been making ๐ง๐ฝlittle๐ง๐ฝ ๐ง๐ฝgirls๐ง๐ฝ squishy for 6๏ธโฃ CENTURIES. Don't โโ mind the old saying; he ONLY makes the ๐ฆ๐ซ๐ซ๐NAUGHTIEST๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ฆgirls โ๏ธsquishyโ๏ธ! So send this to all the ๐ผnastiest๐ผ ๐ง๐ฝgirls๐ง๐ฝ you know and shareโ๏ธThoseโ๏ธCummiesโ๏ธGet 0๏ธโฃ back and you're a basic ๐๐coal-slinging bitch.๐๐ Get 5๏ธโฃ back and you get ๐
eaten๐
like ๐ชcookies๐ชand ๐
๐ฆslurped๐ฆ๐
like ๐ผmilk!๐ผ Get 1๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ back and ๐
๐ฝSanta's๐
๐ฝ big ๐๐COCK๐๐ will growโซโซ 3๏ธโฃ sizes inside of you!๐ซ๐ฉ Get 1๏ธโฃ5๏ธโฃ back and you become Mrs. Claus, and get ๐๐๐yummy ๐๐ญ๐ผnummy ๐ผ๐ฆโ๏ธsquishy๐ผ๐ฆโ๏ธ ๐ง๐งcummies๐ง๐ง until next โฉ๐จโChristmas!๐จโ
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Riot Games
Amogus 700 years in the future
Imagine, 700 years in the future, through some last vestige of the internet kept in an underground server, a notification miraculously appears on your device (which has been preserved in nuclear dust from the 5th world war). One night, an alien working a late shift at the museum of archeology notices the cracked screen suddenly light up, and upon it, one word arises from the battered code: Amogus. They do not know what this word means. They ponder it deeply. They scour the ancient tomes, desperate to understand its mystifying origin. It drives them mad. Is it a primeval cipher? The motto of a bygone civilization? A message from God? Night after night they study it by candlelight. They flip through pages in books so old, the slightest cough would turn the paper to a fine off-white powder. The answer is nowhere to be found. And then they are struck by a revelation: I was not meant to know this word. Its esoteric nature escapes my grasp for a reason. What if its meaning is too enlightening to bear? With this revelation comes anger. Spite. Despair. Why shouldn't I understand it?! What cosmic forces are there at play to keep me from such knowledge?! In a fit of desperate rage, they shatter your device against a wall and exclaim, arms raised to the heavens: "This is literally 1984!" Silence... Their pleas are unanswered. Sadly, in the end, their inability to unlock the word's meaning drives them to suicide. Its secrets are never known. So I ask you this: is it better to die having never understood the true mind-bending nature of Amogus, or to be driven mad by the little spaceman in his blood-red suit? If you knew enlightenment would render you incapable of living on this mortal earth without making daily references to a game of space mafia, would you accept it? With knowledge comes power, but also endless suffering. Choose wisely, and be wary when standing at the edge of that great abyss we call "the Truth," lest you fall too deep.
Among Us / Amogus
Jeff Bezos could give every person 1 BILLION dollars
Jeff Bezos has 121 BILLION dollars. The population of earth is 7 billion people. He could give every person 1 BILLION dollars and end poverty, and he would still have 114 billion dollars left over but he wond do it. This is what capitalist greed looks like!