So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut.
She said “dirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is.
She said “dirtier!” So I said “I’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.”
She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Daily stock prayer
Time for our daily prayer:
Our calls, Who art in PLTR,
Perfect be Thy Timing.
Thy tendies come.
Thy expirations be done,
on earth as it is in Wall Street.
Give us this day our daily Lambos.
And forgive us of our puts,
as we forgive those who buy puts against us.
And lead us not into Debt,
but deliver us unto tendies. Amen
WallStreetBets
Ape rocket
💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🐵🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀💎 💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎🍌🍌🍌💎💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🍌💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
WallStreetBets
Anyone basing trades right now on fundamentals is a fucking tool
So many arrogant fucks here love talking fundamental analysis when they can't even tell me if lil’ Yachty got another Ferrari much less how stuffed the fucking Oreos are now. Fucking clowns, all of them.
Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a valuation multiple you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not, you deserve CHGG.
Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade gourd futures you know about and feel with your hands that it hasn't been spotted by any number of fungal pathogens in the complex ecology of modern supply chains. Or alternatively manipulate markets like the rich investors who funnel you into silver every fucking time like clockwork. Warren Buffet's dad was Paul Revere, if you think that shit didn't help The Wizard of Omaha then not only are you retarded but also delusional.
Now stfu about EBITDA and long term debt-to-equity ratios. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in r/lounge with a fat chick, not on wsb posting "anyone basing trades right now on technical analysis is fucking tool.”
WallStreetBets
If PLTR hits 35 today
If PLTR hits 35 today I will wipe with quarter ply toilet paper and accidentally discover myself
WallStreetBets
Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma
FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... I’ve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.