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Minecraft, but he's torturing my cock and balls.

In this video, I have to beat Minecraft while my friend is torturing my cock and balls. He has a humbler, a stretcher and can actively kick them at any time he wishes. Can I beat the Ender Dragon before my testicles are ruptured? Watch to find out. Also, according to Youtube statistics, only a small percentage of people who watch my videos are actually subscribed, so if you end up liking this video, consider subscribing. It's free and you can always unsubscribe. Enjoy the video.
June 2021

Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019

Tides left reynad for C9

twitchquotes: โ˜‘ โ€œThis team's salary is CRAZY!โ€ โ˜‘ โ€œReynad's contract can't win against a salary like C9'sโ€ โ˜‘ "They NEEDED precisely those bonuses to get me to sign" โ˜‘ โ€œThey bribed the only player that would turncoatโ€ โ˜‘ "They had the perfect negotiator" โ˜‘ โ€œThere was nothing Reynad could doโ€ โ˜‘ โ€œI backstabbed that perfectly"
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Ok thatโ€™s enough, sell your items

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head Hello Rookie ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head KT here ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head Ok thatโ€™s enough, sell your items ๐Ÿ“ž 4Head
twitch chat
October 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

I used to be a real ad

Under the sea

twitchquotes: ๐ŸŽตUnder the sea๐ŸŽต ๐ŸŽตUnder the sea๐ŸŽต ๐Ÿงœโ€Darling it's better ๐Ÿ‘‡ Down where it's wetter ๐ŸŒŠ Take it from ๐Ÿฆ€me ๐Ÿ˜ Up โ˜๏ธ on the ๐Ÿ– shore they ๐Ÿ‘”work all day๐Ÿ˜… Out in the ๐ŸŒžsun they slave away ๐Ÿ’ฆWhile we devotin' ๐Ÿ  Full time to floatin ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿฝ ๐ŸŽตUnder the sea๐ŸŽต
twitch chat
October 2018

Hitler messages Kripp

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp how's it going, Hitler here. I've heard rumors that you've been MUTING your mic whenever our Nazi propaganda wagon drives through the area! As punishment for your crimes, you will forward some of your Colombian drug funds as tribute to my good friends working at Google+ to restore the Third Reich to its former glory.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Dear Twitch Partners, Our community members are always our priority

twitchquotes: Dear ๐Ÿ‘‹ Twitch Partners ๐Ÿค , Our ๐Ÿ‘‰ community members ๐Ÿ‘ช are always โ˜‘๏ธ our priority ๐Ÿ›‘. We received ๐Ÿ“ฅ some reports โ— describing โŒจ๏ธ the discomfort โ˜น๏ธ some of our members ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ felt after a Twitch Rivals ๐Ÿคผ participant used "KE*W" and "mo*kaS," ๐Ÿ˜ถ both emotes are often โฒ๏ธ used in toxic ๐Ÿ’€ contexts. Please ๐Ÿ™ refrain from using such emotes, and use KEKHeim & CaitlynS instead ๐Ÿ‘. Best regards ๐Ÿ‘‹, Twitch Team ๐Ÿ’Œ
twitch chat
November 2021

Hang out in an MSN room

twitchquotes: Hiyo there krippery pip! Philo here, just wondering if you'd ever wanna hang out in an "msn" room as the young folks like to call it, anyway please get back to me old pal ol buddyo, heres my fax! 0512 341 301
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Don't get salt Reynad!

twitchquotes: (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ) Don't get salty Reynad! Ur doing great! (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ)
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

salty

I used to be a real ad

Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets

twitchquotes: Pedestrian: i want to give a shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

I'm buysexual

Iโ€™m buysexual, sometimes Iโ€™m a top (when I buy) and sometimes a bottom (when I sell)
December 2020

WallStreetBets

We truly do live in a society

twitchquotes: I only have Joker art, because I'm so oppressed by society EZ I'm a fucking chad, me and joker are practically the same person, I relate to him so much. We both hate society and people. We both want to see the world burn. And we both think all women are lying bitches, no this is not because I don't have a gf, they all think me living in my mom's basement at 30 is cute! >:( We truly do live in a society.
twitch chat
July 2020

You know what's worse than Ajit Pai?

twitchquotes: You know what's worse than Ajit Pai? To access the punchline to this joke, you must purchase the Punchline Package for $14.99
twitch chat
December 2017

Net Neutrality

Ready Hafu

twitch chat
November 2014
Hafu
I used to be a real ad

Pro players that go to tournaments are not the best

twitchquotes: The "pro" players that go to tournaments and stuff are NOT the best players in the world, not even close. These are just the best players of the type of losers who have the personality deficiency that compels them to actually go to gaming tournaments.
twitch chat
April 2019

For every copy paste I will pushup

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿ’ช for ๐Ÿ’ช every ๐Ÿ’ช copy/paste ๐Ÿ’ช I ๐Ÿ’ช will ๐Ÿ’ช do ๐Ÿ’ช 1 ๐Ÿ’ช pushup ๐Ÿ’ช
twitch chat
September 2017

Sigma male schedule

2:00 am- Wake up 2.05am-Cold shower 2.15am-breakfast,almonds, breast milk bought off Facebook, 50mg adderall 2:30am- begin workout,incline bench 2 plates,12x12 with 30 seconds of rest, no warmup. 2:45am-edging,4hrs (for disipline) 6:45am-cold shower 7:00am-begin sprint to work 8:00am-arrive at work 8:05am-get called into boss' office 8:06am-get fired from job for "repeated inappropriate comments" and "predatory behaviour" 8:10am-sprint back home 9:10am- lunch-raw cod, berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderal 9:10am-edging(as punishment) 3:00pm- bed time
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(

didn't expect to queue into you this game

twitchquotes: oh hey toast, didn't expect to queue into you this game haha so random! i'm actually streaming rn as well on my stream at twitchtv/xxxxxx maybe you can host me :) no big deal if not. enjoy your content! i'm streaming atm so check me out!
twitch chat
August 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

Text-to-Speech Playing