[Copypasta] Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hey Kripp, it’s me Jimmy from high school

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, it’s me Jimmy from high school. Its so cool to see you streaming on Twitch. Me and Dustin really miss you. The cheerleading team is nothing without you. And remember that kiss you and I shared in the back of the bus? Those were some good times. We should definitely hook up again XOXO
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

COPY THIS GEM TO HELP TSM

twitchquotes: COPY PrimeMe THIS PrimeMe GEM PrimeMe TO PrimeMe HELP PrimeMe TSM PrimeMe
twitch chat
April 2019
Riot Games

Rhyme Chant

League of Legends

AITA for not telling my wife about all the hitchhikers I killed in the 70s?

Back when I (68M) was a young and dumb twenty-something, I spent a few carefree years in Southern California raping, torturing, and murdering hitchhikers. I don't want any judgement from SJWs about this, please, if you didn't live in Cali in the 1970s, you wouldn't understand. It was just what we did back in those days. Eventually I grew up, got married, had three beautiful kids, and was content to just get off to my trophies and polaroids, and maybe kill the occasional drifter on special occasions. The other day, my wife (37F) found the hidden panel in my basement wall where I keep all the old memories, and she went ballistic. I tried to calm her down, explained that, firstly, they were all dudes, so she shouldn't exactly be getting jealous. Second, they're all dead, so it's not like she's going to have to worry about me leaving her for any of them. Third, there were like three or four other guys doing the same thing around then, and they took the credit for most of my kills. I was very careful, covered my tracks, rarely finished inside them. I don't know why she's got her knickers in such a twist. Quite frankly, I'm feeling really hurt about the whole thing. We've been together for nearly thirty years, and she's thinking about leaving me over something like this? Maybe I should have been more honest, but I was raised to see this as men's business, not something you involve your old lady in. Am I the asshole?
August 2021

AITA

Half Life 3

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠋⠹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢼⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠙⠓⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⣾ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣰⡆⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣏⣀⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2021

Levitating a hockey stick

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲_____ don't mind me, just levitating a hockey stick
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing