[Copypasta] Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Redito I am wealthy businessman from the land of Kantito. I come to watch the tipp stream becaus i want 2ba master. I must ba master of all pokemonarino or my boss "giovanito" will fired me from my businessman job and the helixito will be sad. plz no caparino fettuccine alfredini jigglypuforoni
twitch chat
July 2014
TwitchPlaysPokemon

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

ayo imma keep it real with you chiefs

twitchquotes: ayo imma keep it real with you chiefs. Dont be trash talking these players unless youre a high rank(gold and up) at least have some respect for the people that have put in the work and laid the ground work for the lower ranks.
twitch chat
July 2018

Overwatch

Alright, ocean mage, I guess

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper “Alright, ocean mage, I guess” ResidentSleeper “Haven’t picked moist magician in a while, let’s go wet wizard ResidentSleeper “hydro conjuror isn’t that good, but alright” ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
December 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Master the donger

twitchquotes: (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ, ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇᴍʏ (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
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