[Copypasta] Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Please ask your opponent to emote Kripp

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, whenever I watch you it is hard for me to tell if my video has frozen or not because your face never moves. Please ask your opponent to emote so I know it's live!
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

Momo 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣰⣿⡋⡴⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡖⣄⠘⢿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠂⣴⡿⡃⡜⡰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠸⢠⠸⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢀⢠⡿⡝⡌⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⡆⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡏⣸⣷⣳⣹⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⣷⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⢿⣿⣿⣦⡸⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡡⠦⣄⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⣶⣶⣦⡌⢿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠊⠄⢸⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⠒⠚⢛⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⢿⣿⣹⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⡶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣡⣾⣿⡕⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⡅⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡇⠄⠄⠘⢯⣍⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣡⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿
ascii art
March 2019

The tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of United Airlines the Overbooked? I thought not. It’s not a story the CEO would tell you. It’s a sky legend. United Airlines was an Airline of the sky, so powerful and so overbooked he could use Force to influence the passengers to give up their seats… He had such a knowledge of the police that he could even keep the employees he cared about from not having a seat. The police's use of Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his seat, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice KO'd him and took his seat. Ironic. He could save others from losing their seats, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Hey guys Saltarian here

twitchquotes: Hey guys Saltarian here, just want to let chat know that in order to survive I need to Feast upon the salt energy that kripp produces upon experiencing a long bout of bad luck. So please snipe and emote him in ways that will evoke his true salt essence. with enough salt I will take control of his scrawny vegan body and I will give chat what they have been waiting for all along...
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Among Us concerned father

Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game “Among Us” after playing it on his computer. While i didn’t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'sus’ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said ‘kicked’. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying he’ll “eject” me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Drip’, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a “crewmate”. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use “vent” to get there. I don’t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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