Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write.
An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
My husband of 5 years bought me Reddit Gold for my anniversary
My 5-Year anniversary with my husband was last week. The traditional gift for 5 years is silverware. I wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift. I knew he wanted an Apple Watch and bought that as my gift to him.
On the day of our anniversary, I logged onto Reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments guilded. I found it odd as I don’t post terribly often and the guilded comments were old. It’s also the first time I’ve received Reddit gold.
When the time came to exchange gifts, he gleefully opened his Apple Watch and begin setting it up. I figured I’m all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so I gently prodded him. He told me to check Reddit.
Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband GUILDED me 24 times as an anniversary gift. He’s a bit of a jokester, so I figured my real gift was coming.
But Reddit, it’s been a week. Do I say something? Buy the silverware myself? Some combination of the two? I feel if I don’t say something then the cycle will repeat itself.
So that was a bruh moment
twitchquotes:
She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
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Give me another burger OpieOP
twitchquotes:
EU is so ba... wait let me take a breath EU is s... i need to take another one fk give me another burger
EU is so ba... wait let me take a breath EU is s... i need to take another one fk give me another burger
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Classic
EU vs NA
peepoClap
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠙⠛⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢀⠔⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠠⠔⠚⠉⠉⠁⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢔⠤⠀⢤⣤⡀⠠⣢⡭⠋⡙⢿⣭⡨⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀⠆⠀⠀⠀⣪⣴⣿⠐⢬⠀⣿⡗⣾⣿⡇⠈⠦⢸⣿⠗⢠⠿⠿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠄⠀⠠⠋⠀⠈⠛⠻⠆⠀⠈⢀⡠⣬⣠⢣⣶⢸
⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣶⡌⣇⣿⢰⠷⠦⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠶⠞⡛⠁⣿⣿⣾⣱⢸
⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣬⣽⣿⣿⢸⡜⢿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣯⣽⣦⡲⣾⣿⡇⣿⠀⣌⠿⣿⠏⣼
⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡿⢫⡈⠻⢦⡹⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣡⠿⣫⡼⠃⠀⣿⡷⢠⣾⣿
⣿⡇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⡀⠀⠙⠳⠦⣭⣭⣭⣵⡶⠿⠋⠀⢀⣴⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿
⣿⢠⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⣿
⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢹⣿⣇⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿
⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣸⣿⣿⣿
⣧⡘⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣍⣉⣛⣛⡛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣉⣩⣭⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Peepo
Pepe
GOATS song
twitchquotes:
GOATS is when you... GOATS is it's like, it's kind of, sort of like a... What is fun? Let me spell it for you! G is for Go and do stuff together O is for Out Brigitte-ing A is for Anywhere and Anytime at all, the Tanks and Supports run free!
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