[Copypasta] I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
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Navy Seal Copypasta in uwu

What t-t-the fuck did you just fucking s-say about me, you little bitch!? I'll have you knyow I gwaduated t-top of my cwass in t-t-the Navy Seaws, and I've been invowved in nyumewous secwet raids on Aw-Quaeda, and I have uvw 300 confirmed k-kiwws. I am twainyed in gorilla wawfawe and I'm t-t-the t-top snyiper in t-t-the entiwe US armed forces. You awe n-nyothing t-to me but just anyothew tawget. I wiww wipe you t-t-the fuck out with pwecision t-t-the wikes of which has nyevew been seen befowe on this Eawth, mawk my fucking words. You think you c-can get away with saying that shit t-to me uvw t-t-the I-Intewnyet?!?1 Think again, fuckew. As w-w-we speak I am contacting my secwet nyetwork of spies acwoss t-t-the USA and youw IP is b-being twaced right nyow so you better pwepawe fow t-t-the stowm, maggot. T-The stowm that wipes out t-t-the pathetic little thing you caww youw life. Y-You'we fucking dead, kid. I c-can be anywhewe, anytime, and I c-can k-kiww you in uvw seven hundwed w-ways, and t-t-that's just with my bawe hands. N-Nyot only am I extensivewy twainyed in unyawmed combat, but I have access t-to t-t-the entiwe awsenyaw of t-t-the Unyited States M-Marinye Cowps and I wiww use i-it t-to its fuww extent t-to wipe youw misewabwe a-ass off t-t-the face of t-t-the continyent, you little shit. If only you could have k-knyown what unhowy retribution youw little "clever" comment was about t-to bring d-d-down upon y-you, maybe you w-wouwd have h-hewd youw fucking tongue. But you couwdn't, you didn't, and nyow you're paying t-t-the pwice, you g-goddamn i-idiot. I wiww shit fury all uvw you and you wiww dwown in i-it. Y-You'we fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2022

Navy Seal

Shuffle a Weasel into Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: ๐Ÿฟ ๏ผท๏ผฅ๏ผก๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ ๐Ÿฟ Deathrattle: Shuffle a ๐Ÿฟ ๏ผท๏ผฅ๏ผก๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ ๐Ÿฟ into twitch chat.
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

Can a nigga borrow a fry?

He says it every morning. He calls me nigga, he calls the other kids nigga, he calls himself nigga. All the time. Nigga this, nigga that, nigga PLEASE. Bitch nigga. Nigga have you lost your mind? Nigga check that ho. Nigga, you bullshittin. Break yourself, nigga. He says it so much I don't even notice it anymore. Last week in lunch Riley says to a classmate, "Can a nigga borrow a French fry?" My first thought wasn't "Oh my God he said the word, t-the n-word!" It was "How is a nigga gonna borrow a fry?, nigga, is you gonna give it back?"
January 2021

8th year without variety

๐Ÿ“œ โœ Sadge ๐“œ๐”‚ ๐“ญ๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ผ๐“ฝ ๐“ซ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป, ๐“ฝ๐“ธ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ถ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ด๐“ผ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ 8๐“ฝ๐“ฑ ๐”‚๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป ๐”€๐“ฎ ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ฝ ๐“ฟ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐”‚. ๐“ฆ๐“ฎ ๐“ถ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ท๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ ๐“ช๐“ซ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ฝ๐“ธ ๐“ฎ๐“ท๐“ญ๐“พ๐“ป๐“ฎ. ๐“Ÿ๐“ต๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ผ๐“ฎ ๐“น๐“ป๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ฏ๐“ธ๐“ป ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ผ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ฟ๐“ช๐“ฝ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ท. .
February 2021
Forsen

I saw it on the new hip website called Reddit!

twitchquotes: I saw it on the new hip website called Reddit! It's a pun on Read and It, Reddit! Isn't that swell! There are also these things called May-mays or otherwise known as memes there. They're really funny
twitch chat
November 2014
Trick2g
Text-to-Speech Playing