[Copypasta] I hate you

Mark, let me tell you something. Pay close attention to the text that I am about to write. An average human body has about 38 trillion cells. In each of these cells there is a spiral helix of DNA that, if stretched to its maximum, is about two meters long. DNA is one of the densest stores of information on the planet: a single gram of DNA stores about 700 terabytes of information. If we stretched out the 76 trillion meters of DNA in my body and recorded, character by character, the word "Hate" over and over and over again, this pile of information could not store the tiniest fraction of a trillionth of the hatred that I feel for you right now. Every drop of blood in my body cries out for your death. My very soul writhes in disgust. Your mere existence is a blasphemy and an affront to every possible virtue and quality that any rational being can possess. You are a deception to Satan himself.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

War Thunder is like playing chess

It's not that the game is addicting, it's just that there are no decent alternatives. War Thunder is basically the intellectual version of the FPS games that all the stupid children and mongoloid brains play. Instead of just being based purely on twitch "skills" which require as much intellectual ability as closing popup spam windows, in War Thunder you have to use at least some tactics and strategy. FPS games are like playing Pong on high speed. War Thunder is like playing chess. The art of gaming is simply dead for big brains. 20 years ago there were tons of games that required brainpower because PC gaming back then was by nerds and for nerds, but then the corporate suits took over and were like "broaden the appeal to we can make more sales" so everything got dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. My GF asked me if I was "having fun" playing War Thunder, and I looked at her like she was a fucking retard to even consider that sentence a valid question. I don't have FUN playing War Thunder. This game routinely pisses me off and makes me rage. However, when I stomp the entire enemy team and crush them so utterly I can hear the lamentations of their mothers, I feel satisfaction. I spent weeks grinding for Operation Winter. The vikings had a word for this. They called it Valhalla. Endless war. Endless combat. Knowing only victory and death. Bathing in the blood of your enemies. You get 15 kills and bask in glory and rewards, and think: what should I do now? Should I get in my Honda Fit and tour the local strip mall for my Triumph? Should I microwave some tendies and throw myself a great Feast? But there is only one option. There is only ever one option. To Battle! Various cultures have alternatively described the gameplay loop of War Thunder as their vision of Heaven or Hell. It is both.
January 2021

Yeah I'm a big deal, I start memes in chat

twitchquotes: WTF DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT?! I'll have you know i've started more memes in this chat than any man living. You think you got what it takes to go toe to toe with me? You don't. You're nothing. Your just a little Pleb in the wind, less than insignificant. I scrape more important shits of my sheets in the morning. Yeah i'm a big deal, i start memes in Twitch chat, so copy my pasta or step off, kid.
twitch chat
November 2016

Rania's a DongDigger

twitchquotes: [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅] I ain't saying Rania's a DongDigger, but she ain't messin with no broke krippers [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Can you guys stop typing 'misplay'?

twitchquotes: Can you guys stop typing 'misplay'? We know Kripp is not the best player and he might be a bit slow in the head, but stop pointing out the obvious by typing 'misplay' over and over.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

The tragedy of Darth Pepega

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Pepega the Retarded? I thought not. It's not a story the High Elo players would tell you. It's a Silver legend. Darth Pepega was a Dark Lord of the Silver, so boosted and so retarded he could use his Flame to influence the outcome of the game... He had such a knowledge of the flame, he could even keep the ones who tried to carry him from winning. The dark side of the Mental is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught a rioter everything he knew, then the rioter banned him in his sleep. Ironic. He could grant the enemy team LP, but not himself.
twitch chat
August 2019

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

League of Legends

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