[Copypasta] Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta!

Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! 😁
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

NA, aka 'No Achievements'

twitchquotes: NA, aka 'No Achievements' is the weakest region in the professional League of Legends scene. They are specifically known for their clown fiestas and never winning anything worthwhile in the history of League of Legends.
twitch chat
November 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

It's called empathy

Sometimes watching porn I like to pretend I'm the "woman" it's called empathy not homosexuality.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

A 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, I've been following you for a while now, and today is a big day for me : I'm gonna get married. As weird as it looks, you've been a huge inspiration to me : since I've discovered your stream, I decided to go Vegan, and that's how I met my future wife : a 31 yo Oak Tree named Clara. Thanks again for streaming!
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

pepeJAM

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⡿⠶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠲⠶⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⢀⣀⡀⠤⣦⢰⣤⣶⢶⣤⣤⣈⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠟⠁⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣊⡘⠲⣶⣷⣶⠶⠶⠶⠦⠤⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠔⠊⠁⠁⠄⠄⢾⡿⣟⡯⣖⠯⠽⠿⠛⠛⠭⠽⠊⣲⣬⠽⠟⠛⠛⠭⢵⣂⠄ ⡎⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢙⡷⠋⣴⡆⠄⠐⠂⢸⣿⣿⡶⢱⣶⡇⠄⠐⠂⢹⣷⣶⠆ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄⣿⡓⠮⣅⣀⣀⣐⣈⣭⠤⢖⣮⣭⣥⣀⣤⣤⣭⡵⠂⠄ ⣤⡀⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢻⣿⣿⣶⣶⡶⢖⣢⣴⣿⣿⣟⣛⠿⠿⠟⣛⠉⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡗⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡘⠿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄ ⣿⠱⢿⣿⣿⠿⢛⠰⣞⡛⠷⣬⣙⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣓⡀⠄ ⢡⣾⣷⢠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣌⡛⠷⣦⣍⣛⠻⠿⢿⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣴⣶⡶⠾⠿⠟⠁⠄ ⣿⡟⣡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣭⣙⡛⠓⠒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠿⠟⠄⠄⠄ ⠿⡐⢬⣛⡻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡶⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣾⣿⣷⣶⣭⣝⣒⣒⠶⠬⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⣐⣒⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2020

Classic

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing