[Copypasta] CoolStoryBob tell me more

twitchquotes: CoolStoryBob fascinating, tell me more
twitch chat
November 2016
I used to be a real ad
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Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast

twitchquotes: Cheerio Kripp, this is Nigel from Yogurtcast. Oliver and I have some smashing news for you! Your casual playstyle, and ability to endure childrens videogames makes you a proper candidate for the splendid world of Minecraft commentary! Tally ho!
twitch chat
May 2015
Kripp

A concerned Christian parent writes to Imaqtpie

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. 'Cute the Pie'! I am a concerned Christian parent, who caught my son Lil' Johnny watching your SMUT, and if you dont COVER YOUR DONGER IMMEDIATELY, you will be reported to the authorities! DO NOT copy and paste this!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks

Let’s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts don’t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
September 2020

Ben Shapiro

Rainbow Dash

β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–€ β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“ β–“β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▓░░░░░░░▐▄░▓▓▓▓▓▓ β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“
ascii art
November 2014

My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyone’s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019
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