twitchquotes:
fascinating, tell me more
fascinating, tell me more
twitch chat
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
I hate, hate, hate coffee culture
I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even fucking celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of fucking enablers I've ever seen.
When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place.
There's an entire fucking cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many goddamned cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise.
And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit in before work.
Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is fucking delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable.
And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts.
And lastly, the goddamned keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.
Both dudes
twitchquotes:
(‿ˠ‿) _(‿ˠ‿) only the chosen one can fist both dudes . ⎝ 
⎠
⎠
twitch chat
KappaPride
Smash bros with the bros
twitchquotes:
Dude this reminds me of this one time me and the bros were just hanging out like five of us and we all got pizza, and we were actually playing some smash too but there were five of us and so we played that game where whoever loses has to switch out with the guy who's not playing and the loser has to blow the guy who won until the next game is up, but not like in a gay way, more in just like some added stakes to win the game, but it was pretty fun tbh so I could see how being gay wouldn't be that bad at the end of the day.
twitch chat
KappaPride
Super Smash Bros
Logan Paul Apology but I replace "apologize" with "cum"
I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and I don't expect to be forgiven. I'm simply here to cum. So what we came across that day on the woods was obviously unplanned and the reactions you saw on tape were raw, they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down, and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently, but I didn't, and for that from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to cum to the internet, I want to cum to anyone who's seen the video, I want to cum to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But, most importantly, I want to cum to the victim and his family. For, my fans, who are defending my actions, please don't, they do not deserve to be defended. The goal of my content is always to entertain, to push the boundaries, to be all inclusive and in the world I live in I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said, I made a huge mistake, I don't expect to be forgiven, I'm just here to cum. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm disappointed in myself, and I promise to be better. I will be better, thank you.
Parody names for the ACDC song Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Atrocious Acts Accomplished at Affordable Rates
Barbaric Business Bartered at Bargain Costs
Contemptible Coups Carried out at Cut Rates
Dastardly Doings Dealt at Discounted Payments
Evil Endeavors Enacted at Extraordinary Deals
Filthy Feats Furnished through Fair Expenses
Gross Games Garnished through Good Contracts
Heinous Hooliganism Haggled to Humble Budget
Immoral Incidents Issued at Inconsequential Fees
Jarring Jobs Judged Justly Priced
Kriminal Kapers Kompleted at Kompetitive Prices
Licentious Larceny Licensed at Low Tariffs
Malicious Missions Made with Minimal Resources
Nefarious Notions Negotiated at Negligible Charges
Ominous Operations Outsourced at Optimal Prices
Perilous Performances Priced at Pocket Change
Questionable Quests Quarried at Quackpot Terms
Rambunctious Rackets Realized at Reduced Figures
Sinister Shenanigans Supplied at Satisfactory Pay
Thuggish Things Terminated at Trivial Fees
Unscrupulous Undertakings Unleashed at Unusual Discount
Villanous Ventures Valued at Vexing Costs.
Wicked Work Waged at Wee Fares
Xecrable Xploits Xecuted Xtremely Inexpensively
Yucky Yerks Yielded as Year-End Sales
Zany Zinging Zoned for Zero Markup