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I put sushi in my husbandโ€™s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

you are not old, mate

twitchquotes: you are not old, mate, you are indeed where life starts, you shouldn't be worried what your age is, as long as you feel young you are young, cheer up and win already, love u dad <3
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful
I used to be a real ad

SPAM THIS TO HELP ZACKRAY

twitchquotes: KappaPride SPAM KappaPride THIS KappaPride GAY KappaPride TO KappaPride HELP KappaPride ZACKRAY
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

KappaPride

Super Smash Bros

Destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey

twitchquotes: As I have stated strongly before, and just to reiterate, if Turkey does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits, I will totally destroy and obliterate the Economy of Turkey (Iโ€™ve done before!). They must, with Europe and others, watch over the captured ISIS fighters and families. The U.S. has done far more than anyone could have ever expected, including the capture of 100% of the ISIS Caliphate. It is time now for others in the region, some of great wealth, to protect their own territory. THE USA IS GREAT!
twitch chat
October 2019

What's the best way to cash out without creating a huge ruckus?

For example, lets just say that I theoretically put $4000 into crypto, watched it quadruple and now I theoretically had $16k in crypto. Now lets imagine that I theoretically put half of that so $8000 into this funny haha dog coin called Shiba Inu or something in August 2020 and just forgot about it cause it's funny to put a lot of money into stupid jokes. But theoretically lets say that it turned to $8 billion in a bit over a year and now I want to cash out and move it to my bank account. How would I theoretically go on about this safely if I theoretically had this much money in crypto, in theory of course.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

What happened to this ad? :(

KFC rejection letter

Hi Sophie, Thank you for your application to Team KFC. We're cluckin' delighted you're keen to join our flock, however at this moment in time your skills aren't the secret recipe the Colonel is looking for. But we'd love to hear from you again when you have some more experience under your wing, so please give us a cluck if you would like to apply in the future. Best Wishes, Team KFC
October 2021

We didn't start the fire (emoji pasta)

๐Ÿ‘ซWE ๐Ÿ˜กDIDNโ€™T๐ŸคชSTARTโŒTHE๐Ÿ˜พ FIRE ๐Ÿ”ฅ IT ๐ŸคจWAS ๐ŸคฌALWAYS๐ŸคฉBURNING๐Ÿฅต SINCE ๐Ÿ˜งTHEโœจWORLDS๐ŸŒ BEEN๐Ÿ˜ปTURNING
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

The D: emote has been banned

twitchquotes: โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€” imGlitch The D: emote has been banned from this channel โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
twitch chat
September 2018

I like spamming copypastas

twitchquotes: I like spamming copypastas. It's my favorite activity. When they're dank, I think to myself "yes". When they're removed, I think to myself "no".
twitch chat
January 2018

twitch removed ฮšappa

twitchquotes: twitch removed ฮšappa FailFish
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad

Another Response to Navy Seal Copypasta

October 2021

Keep it, you need it more with all that salt

twitchquotes: `So today i was in the supermarket going to buy some cheese for the next week before the stores close, got 8 packages of finest Dutch. When i was waiting in line to pay for it a gentleman in front of me collapsed, his wife looked at us and said "He has Hypoglycemia, someone please bring something that contains sugar!!". I immediately ran to the sweets section, after only 1 minute of choosing since i was in a hurry, i went with ice-cream snickers bar and ran back to the register, with my trembling hands i got rid of the plastic cover, i leaned to the old gentleman, when he turned to me: "I know you..." he said "you are that guy from Twitch... Keep it, you need it more with all that salt..." -Forsen 2015
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

RIP Hugh Hefner emojipasta

Rosa sat๐ŸšŒ so I could walk๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿพ MLK walked๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿพ so I could run๐Ÿƒ๐ŸพObama ran๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿพ so I could fly๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿฆ…๐Ÿฆ… Hugh๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป died๐Ÿ’€โ˜ ๏ธ so I could nut๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ #RIP
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

Bow Gnar

A Bow Gnar is a physiological phenomenon in which the Gnar at full Mana becomes firm with extra Armor, engorged with HP, and enlarged. Bow Gnar is the result of a complex interaction of psychological, neural, vascular, and endocrine factors, and is often associated with shapeshifter's bestialities, although Bow Gnar can also be spontaneous. The shape, angle, and direction of a Bow Gnar varies considerably between players.
July 2022

Teamfight Tactics

havenโ€™t done assassins in a while

twitchquotes: "alright, locket I guessโ€ ResidentSleeper โ€œhavenโ€™t done assassins in a whileโ€ ResidentSleeper โ€œguess Iโ€™ll pick up this akaliโ€ ResidentSleeper โ€œoh look, 6 assassinsโ€ ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
July 2019

Teamfight Tactics

What happened to this ad? :(

Create awarness of the many homeless people in the USA

twitchquotes: Hello @imaqtpie :) I really appreciate your honorable try to create awarness of the many homeless people in the USA. But one thing, dressing up as one is a little bit to much, isn't it?
twitch chat
March 2018
imaqtpie

Type :) if you have crippling depression

twitchquotes: type :) if you have Crippling Depression :)
twitch chat
September 2018

Moonmoon do it for yourself

twitchquotes: Jesse, listen. We all have trials. We all have difficulties. We all have these moments where we think maybe we can't overcome the obstacle right in front of us. But we know we can. We know better. Victory is within our reach. Success is within your reach. Don't give up. You will become the boshy. Do it for Eddie. Do it for Chat. Do it for Cloud. Most of all, do it for yourself.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena

twitchquotes: Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena and i'm 29 cards in. Should I pick backstab (like you got backstabbed by your fellow brothers), betrayal (like how they betrayed you) or shiv (like how you got shived multiple times).
twitch chat
June 2015

Classic

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad

You have been gifted free happiness

twitchquotes: โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€” TwitchVotes You have been gifted free happiness. Type widepeepoHappy to activateโ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
twitch chat
September 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing