twitchquotes:
———————————————————————— 
The D: emote has been banned from this channel ————————————————————————
The D: emote has been banned from this channel ————————————————————————
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
RIP Joe the Spider
I know this is really stupid but I’m sad about it.
Yesterday I had a friend come over. I’m a girl who lives alone so I guess some “dude” stuff hasn’t been done around the house.
Context: I have a spider named joe. He’s a dandy long leg. He’s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust.
Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said “you’re welcome”. I’m super confused. So I ask “for what?” He says “I just killed a big ass spider for you”.
I couldn’t even contain myself. I just yelled “YOU KILLED JOE?!” And started tearing up. I didn’t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy.
My friend was distraught. He’s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house.
I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joe’s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure.
RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
30% Salty
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░█▀▀█░█▀▀█░███░░░█░░░░░░░
░░░░█░█░░█░█▄█░░█░░░░░░░░
░░▀▀█░█░░█░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░
░░░░█░█░░█░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░
░█░░█░█░░█░░░█░███░░░░░░░
░█▄▄█░█▄▄█░░█░░█▄█░░SALTY
Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder
twitchquotes:
Every time I see Tifa punch someone I get a little sadder, because tha tis one less punch that could have been directed at my nutsack. I pray at night for Tifa to break into my house and mercilessly beat the everloving fuck out of my balls. I will pray extra hard tonight.
twitch chat
I'M SO STUPID I'M GONNA SHIT
twitchquotes:
YOU SHOULD OF LEROYED OH GOD I'M SO FUCKING STUPID I'M GONNA SHIT
twitch chat
Reynad
NO POMEGRANATES
Teacher: NO POMEGRANATES!!!
NO NO NO NO NO POMEGRANATES!!!
NO!!! I DONT WANT THEM ANYWHERE NEAR HERE, AM I CLEAR!!!
Say the role again, NO POMEGRANATES!!!, say it.
Sarcastic Kids: No pomegranates...