[Copypasta] The D: emote has been banned

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch The D: emote has been banned from this channel ————————————————————————
twitch chat
September 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

M-mr Kripp could you p-please stop crying

twitchquotes: monkaS ☝️ m-mr kripp could you p-please stop crying
twitch chat
March 2017
Kripp

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'√π3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

LS aka "Losing Scout" is a washed up caster

twitchquotes: LS aka "Losing Scout" is a washed up caster who finds talent by inting in soloqueue and letting his teammates carry him. He is specifically known for his whiffed Ezreal and Ashe ults and protecting himself from corona virus by using cleanse.
twitch chat
September 2020
imls

League of Legends

PETA must be alerted

twitchquotes: Last night at Greece's most prominent Red Light District, Kripp was seen pimping out Catarrian for very cheap. PETA must be alerted of this horrid cat prostitution ring hidden under this "Twitch streaming"
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing