[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
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You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is

twitchquotes: You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is, you go to the chat and scroll to hold it on the screen and indulge in its delights, as you continue to read you realize it does not contain anything funny or worth reading, and yet you highlight, copy it, paste it and send it.
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November 2015

I'm a level 20, diamond 1 smurf who mains ADC Taric

twitchquotes: What’s so special about this? Seriously, i am a level 20, diamond 1 smurf who mains adc taric. I was playing with a Morganna support vs a katarina, she did the same exact thing. Seriously, i see all morg mains make simple plays like these. Nothing INSANE about this basic hig-elo play, you cardboard scrubs. 
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November 2014
Trick2g

Stalin

⡿⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠞⠛⠁⠄⡼⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠙⣦⠐⠠⡥⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡔⠛⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢰⢏⣤⣦⣤⣍⣉⣿⣿⣿⡟⢋⣁⣤⣤⣤⣈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠚⣯⡄⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣾⣿⣉⣀⣠⠅⠄⣽⣿⣿⣇⠈⢈⣉⣩⣐⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠤⢿⢱⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠾⣿⣿ ⡏⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡇⣿⣿ ⣧⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣯⣽⣋⠽⢭⣽⣤⡘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠩⣭⣽⠁⢣⢿⣯⡉⣿⡶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠈⠋⠈⠄⡈⠁⠒⠌⠊⣃⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣤⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠛⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⣿⣭⣤⣬⡁⢉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

Can a Gay Vegan swallow semen

Can a Gay Vegan swallow semen and still be considred a vegan? Vegans don't eat dairy, semen is a protein containing substance from a mammal, that's very close to dairy. The fact that it comes from a mammal also means it's an "animal product" ... Sure you might not be hurting anyone, but does that seriously mean you would consider yourself a vegan if you swallowed semen? I don't mean any of this in offense, in anyway.. just wondered what the consensus was.
January 2021

Joseph Kony's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, I am famous child soldier militia commander Joseph Kony. I want to help you make your own child soldier militia too so we can fight the white man as one. I hope you make the right decision and remember, dongerino dongerino please no copi pasterino banerino Al Pacino cappuccino orange moccha frappuccino steal your kiderino.
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Kripp
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