[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
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Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month

twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 📉 Um.... Mr. K-Kripp, I charted your win rate for the last month...
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June 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

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⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠻⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⠟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠃⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⣴⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⡆⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠿⢿⣿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣿⡿⠿⣿ ⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⢸ ⣧⣤⣤⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣤⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡄⠀⠀⠀⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
August 2021

Team Liquid / TL

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⠀⠀⢰⣦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⡀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡆⠀⢸⣿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠹⣿⣷⠀⠸⠋⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣤⡀⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣦⡀⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠙⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠻⠿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠓⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⠿⠿⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣷⡀⢄⡈⠒⣨⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣷⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
February 2019

Got my cans of spam for quarantine

twitchquotes: ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⣭⣭⢹⡍⠉⣭⡍⠻⡿⡉⠹⣿⣯⠉⠉⣿⡟⠉⢩⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡀⠈⠉⠛⠇⠀⠛⣁⣴⠳⠿⠀⢹⣿⢠⡀⠘⢬⠀⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠻⠿⠇⣀⠆⠀⢿⣿⡇⢾⣿⡆⠀⠻⠸⣷⣤⡿⠀⠸⣿⣿ Got my cans of spam for quarantine
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March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

I hope you enjoy being tucked

twitchquotes: The year was 1999. A much younger trump was getting ready for bed when his mother entered the room. "Sweetums, it's much past your bedtime!" she chides. Obediently, Trump climbs into bed. As his mother lovingly lays the covers over him, she whispers "I hope you enjoy being tucked."
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February 2015
Trump
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