[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I am the PUBG MOBILE elite pro killer

twitchquotes: They criticized me. They called called me the salt mine. They called me the hs arena cry-baby. But look at me now. I am the PUBG MOBILE elite pro killer. Navy SEALs have nothing on me. Get gud chat cause I'm coming for you.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

sellout

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

Ocean Man

twitchquotes: OCEAN MAN 🌊 😍 Take me by the hand ✋ lead me to the land that you understand 🙌 🌊 OCEAN MAN 🌊 😍 The voyage 🚲 to the corner of the 🌎 globe is a real trip 👌 🌊 OCEAN MAN 🌊 😍 The crust of a tan man 👳 imbibed by the sand 👍 Soaking up the 💦 thirst of the land 💯
twitch chat
September 2016

Emoji Pasta

A response to Elon Musk's tweets

March 2022

FNATIC World Championships

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ████░██▄░██░░▄███▄░░████░██░░▄███▄ ██▄░░███▄██░██▀░▀██░░██░░██░██▀░▀▀ ██▀░░██▀███░███████░░██░░██░██▄░▄▄ ██░░░██░░██░██░░░██░░██░░██░░▀███▀ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
October 2015
Riot Games

League of Legends

My dad works at twitch dude

twitchquotes: My dad works at twitch dude, he's a sr Vice President, and he oversees players accounts. If you don't unban me, I'll make sure he gets both you and majinphil permabanned. But if you unban me, I'll make sure you fit in the algorithms to always be in people's recommended feed. Your choice.
twitch chat
December 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing