[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Tanner from Highschool

twitchquotes: So you're going by "loltyler1" now nerd? Haha whats up douche bag, it's Tanner from Highschool. Remember me? Me and the guys used to give you a hard time in school. Sorry you were just an easy target lol. I can see not much has changed. Remember Sarah the girl you had a crush on? Yeah we're married now. I make over 200k a year and drive a mustang GT. I guess some things never change huh loser? Nice catching up lol. Pathetic..
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

Classic

Tanner from High School

CSGO rage

The only reason, the only reason you’re all laughing is because you don’t understand that I also played in a team before and it’s actually proper CS and not the kind of shit you play. I’m not gonna play matchmaking with you all because you’re all fucking useless anyway. You know why you’re better than me? Do you know why? Shut the fuck up you cunts. Tell me the answer, come on you fucking retards, laugh all you want you fucking dumbasses, honestly, fuck this. You’re all having a laugh and I’m trying to play a game and actually do something and fucking win. Fuck my dick.
April 2022

CSGO

LCK AKA “literally can’t kill”

twitchquotes: LCK AKA “literally can’t kill” is the most boring major region internationally known for their low tempo boring gameplay, their premier caster LS aka “literally sleeping” and owning the record for the longest league game of all time.
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

PepegaPls

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠒⠤⣄⠛⠉⢙⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⢉⣩⣭⣉⡶⡏⣠⣴⡖⠦⣝⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠐⢾⣿⣿⠋⠙⢿⣆⣿⣿⡇⠠⠌⣧⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢸⣿⡏⠀⠇⣼⡿⠸⠿⠿⠶⠒⣋⣿ ⣿⡿⠋⠹⡏⠀⠀⢀⣊⣉⠀⠀⠀⢰⣀⠘⢄⡙⠛⢖⣛⡋⠐⠳⢬⡭⠽⠛⠉⣿ ⣿⠁⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⣿⢭⡙⢷⣄⡀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⡀⢠⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⡛⣓⡩⠽⣛⡶⠦⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣄⣐⣖⡉⡅⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢶⣭⣗⣂⠍⠛⠛⠛⢛⣫⣤⣿⣿⠿⢛⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⠀⠀⡉⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠁⢰⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

How will this affect my chains?

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, A dinosaur here. I was recently locked up but I killed the zoo owner. However, I was not able to find the key on him. How will this affect my chains?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad
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