[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Being a hentai actress must be so weird

Being a hentai actress must be so weird. Imagine this: you’re in a soundproof room pleasurably screaming into an 800,000Β₯ microphone about how much you love old man dick at 10:47 AM on a Tuesday in October while your 45-year-old boss oversees you through a glass window from the other room. You eventually look up after 2 hours of practicing your unnaturally high-pitched moans and see him give you a big thumbs up as you pretend to have an orgasm.
May 2021

Weebs

Anime girl 3

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–„β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–Œβ–’β–β–β–β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β–€β–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–β–’β–’β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–€β–€β–„β–β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–‘β–Œ β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–β–β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–„β–€β–’β–β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–β–’β–€β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–’β–β–’β–’β–’ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’
ascii art
January 2017

Weebs

I can't wait for you to be our new maid

twitchquotes: Hi Imaqtpie is Reginald Dinh here. I'm messaging to offer you a spot on my team. I think you'd fill the role very well, to be honest I don't know anyone in the scene who is better equipped. I can't wait for you to be our new maid.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

LCS, aka "Lair of Cosplayers and Streamers"

twitchquotes: LCS, aka "Lair of Cosplayers and Streamers", is a tournament from Riot NA that is often ridiculed for its fiesta games and questionable Jayce and Pyke players. It is specifically known for never winning internationally and its NARAM gameplay.
twitch chat
July 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here

twitchquotes: Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here, I mean I thought this was supposed to be "the worst chat in twitch" and this is all you got!? The KPM in this chat is WAY too low, it is actually depressing. How am I supposed to enjoy chat without dongers, "FrankerZ's", and the occasional elephant?
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
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