[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Unlucky

β£Ώβ ‰β£Ώβ ‰β£Ώβ‘β Ήβ‘β’Ήβ‘β’Ήβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‰β£Ώβ ‰β£Ώβ‘Ÿβ’‹β ›β£Ώβ ‰β‘Ÿβ’‰β‘β Ήβ β£Ήβ£Ώ ⣿⠄⣿⠄⣿⑇⑄⠁Ⓒ⑇Ⓒ⣿⣿⠄⣿⠄⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⠄⑀Ⓕ⣿⑄⒠⣿⣿ ⣿⣦⣀⣴⣿⣧⣿⣀⣼⣧⣬⣭⣿⣦⣀⣴⣿⣧⣀⣀⣿⣀⣷⣀⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿
January 2022

Middle finger

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘ ░░░▄▀▀▀▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░ ░░▐▒▄▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▄▐░░ β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–€β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–„β–’β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œβ–€β–β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘ ░░░░▐▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐▒▒▀▒▐░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ ░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░░░ β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ▀▒▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░▄▄░░░ ░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░▐░░▐░░ ░░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▄▄▄▄▀░▄▄▐░░▐▄▄ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β– ░░░░░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐▐ ░░░░▐░░░░░░░░▐
June 2017

Monte Cristo's statement

twitchquotes: hello my fellow kappas my name is Kappastankapsterinocunnio, you could also call me monte cristo. voyboy is very gud in mid beddar than link and mid pack and mediorcre. i learn to spell from russian infantry 586. i hate regi cuz he monkey king and spews garbage and lies to all of my wrong doings. I jack off with clg hat in korea instead of coache mai team . voyboy is a sweet hart i wish we *** someteim i luv him. he *** my team in playoffs and i leik it all the time. enuff about voyboy more about kappa town. kappaccino koccino frappatino pls no copy pastarinocappaciino cocinai luv u all pjsaltyarion
twitch chat
August 2014
onGamers

Time is tickling

Time is tickling ⏰⏰ SEND πŸ’ŒπŸ“² this 🀳 to TEN (πŸ”Ÿ) FESTIVE FREAKS πŸŽ…πŸΏπŸ‘―β€β™€οΈπŸ•Ί if u get πŸ”Ÿ BACK your a 🀀😏 STUFFED STOCKING SLORE πŸ˜πŸ§¦πŸŽπŸ’πŸ˜»πŸ‘€πŸ˜³ get 5️⃣ BACK and ur a 😈🐎😈 Horny Xmas Ham πŸ™ˆπŸ·πŸ€ͺπŸͺ΅πŸ”₯πŸ˜‰πŸ˜ but if u get 0️⃣ back 😡 u got a πŸ”₯ DRY CπŸ…ΎοΈAL CUNT πŸ§†πŸŒ΅πŸ˜°πŸ˜­πŸ˜±πŸ₯²πŸ‘
December 2023

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Christmas

Donald Trump vs Biden

Approximately 15 people have died from COVID within the first 10 MINUTES of Biden’s presidency. Compare that with former president Donald Trump, where there was not a SINGLE death in the first 1,125 days of his glorious reign. Not convinced? Trump created approximately 72813% more jobs in HALF of his FIRST TERM than Biden has during in his ENTIRE time as president. The numbers don’t lie Liberals πŸ˜πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ
January 2021

2020 US Election

Text-to-Speech Playing