[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I want to be a box

twitchquotes: Hello My name is Juan Taquito, and My dream is to become a cardboard box, I go home to my family of 12 children daily, searching online for how to become a box, that is why i will watch BoxBox every day, to learn his ways and reach my true form.
twitch chat
July 2014
flosd

PogOff

⠄⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣾⣿⠿⠛⣉⣁⣤⣤⣤⣤⣬⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣤⡈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢋⠉⠩⠉⢩⣙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣶⣏⣁⡁⣐⣆⠈⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣥⣤⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣭⣿⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢀⣿⣿⡿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣴⣿⣿⠏⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡈⠙⠛⠛⠻⢃⣼⣿⣿⠏⣐⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢳⣾⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⢀⣾⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁ ⣿⣿⡟⣀⣿⣿⣿⠛⣠⣄⢹⣿⣿⣧⣤⣄⣀⣤⣶⣾⣿⡿⣿⡆⢻⡟⠁⢀⡀⠄ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⢣⣾⣿⣿⠄⠉⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠃⠉⠉⠛⠃⠉⠈⣾⣷⠾⠟⠁⢠ ⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣶⣆⢰⣶⣶⣶⣶⠶⠒⢀⣀⣄⣠⣴⡟⠁⠄⠄⣰⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⠿⠏⣾⡿⠃⠈⠉⠉⠛⠄⠘⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣠⣾⣿⣿
January 2022

Emote

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE MODS

twitchquotes: ー═┻┳︻▄ξ(╬ಠ益ಠ)ξ▄︻┻┳═一 "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE MODS!"
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

You have been presented with superior intellect

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— TwitchVotes You have been presented with superior intellect. Type 5Head to activate————————————————————————
twitch chat
March 2019

GME short squeeze

Lets dumb this down for you apes: - Let's say 5 banana's currently cost 10 dollar - One ape on the market has 5 banana's - Snake asks to borrow 5 banana's for a bit and instead sells the 5 banana's thinking price will go down soon (shorting). he thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he make's profit on the difference. - Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all banana's on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed - If group of apes stay strong then price will go 🚀🚀🚀
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing