[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

That's an extremely unfortunate loss Kripp

twitchquotes: That's an extremely unfortunate loss Kripp, even though you outplayed him on every possible level he still beat you, i've never seen anyone as unlucky as you that match, nor anyone as lucky as he was that match. It shouldn't even be legal for someone as bad as him to beat someone as amazing as you are at this game
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Classic

salty

My dong strong and hard as diamond

twitchquotes: No one believed in my dong, but when I raised it, QTpie saw it and found a shred of potential in it. Then he believed. And all the others did as well. QTpie believes, and now so do I. I shall climb these mountains of Gold, destroy those Platinum plebs, and then, and only then, my dong will be strong and hard. As a diamond.
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

xqcM emote

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⠋⠉⠄⠉⠉⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠓⠢⠄ ⣺⣿⣿⣿⡿⠗⠚⠛⠛⠲⠶⠤⠤⠤⠼⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⢀⠤⠶⠖⠺⠿⣶⣷ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⣀⡰⠖⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠸⣉⠄⢀⣃⣠⣶⡾⠋ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣡⣶⣶⣿⡿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄ ⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⠄⠄⠈⠛⠻⠿⠟⠋⠈⠄⣼⣥⠄⠄⠈⠋⠉⠉⣽⡿⠿⢛⠇⠄ ⣧⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣀⣄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣠⣤⣾⠃⠄⠄ ⣶⣌⣚⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣫⣴⠆⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⣃⠈⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⣼⣿⡋⣾⡇⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⡛⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⣮⡵⢟⡂⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣶⢂⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⣿⣷⡝⣿⣿⠯⠭⠶⡽⢗⠿⠃⠄⠄⠄ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⠘⠓⠷⠾⠄⠗⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
May 2019
xQcOW

You need a high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics

twitchquotes: To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Teamfight Tactics. The intricacies of combat are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of Kenjutsu most of the fights will leave those unprepared, dead and frustrated. There’s also the stealth aspects, which are deftly woven into the gameplay - this tactical approach draws heavily from Sun Tzu’s “Art of War”, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depth of the gameplay.
twitch chat
June 2019

Teamfight Tactics

Kripp gets in trouble exploiting Noz and jousting

twitchquotes: (·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿)" Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about your Noz deck and jousting exploit. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp (·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿)
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing