[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I miss Julio the donkey

twitchquotes: Hello, my name its Juan Pastas Copyrino. Sorry my england. Last week donkey Julio died outside of the house. I loved Julio. Every day we ride to work together. I also spoke donkey language better than my england. Julio and me always talked for hours about business and the political situation here. But now Julio is in donkey heaven. I miss him
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena

twitchquotes: Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena and i'm 29 cards in. Should I pick backstab (like you got backstabbed by your fellow brothers), betrayal (like how they betrayed you) or shiv (like how you got shived multiple times).
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June 2015

Classic

Hearthstone

forsenIQ

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣤⣤⣤⣀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠙⠛⠄⣾⡏⠉⠙⢿⣷⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⣴⡇⢀⠄⠹⣷⣄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣆⠘⠿⠟⠁⠈⠄⠄⠁⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿ ⠁⣠⡀⠁⠄⣿⡇⢺⣧⠄⡹⣿⣦⡀⢀⣿⣿⠄⢠⣴⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙ ⠸⢿⣷⡀⠄⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⡟⠊⠛⠿⡿⡿⠋⢀⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣤⡀⠹⣿⣦⢹⣿⣿⠛⢻⣷⣄⠄⣠⣤⡤⢖⣿⣯⣄⠙⢿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣷⡄⠙⢿⣷⣍⠁⢠⡀⠛⠉⡠⣿⣿⡿⣶⣌⡛⠛⠿⣦⣙⢿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⢻⣿⠖⠄⣿⣶⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠣⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡘⣇⣈⣿⣿⡟⣾⡟⠋⣛⡛⠿⠆⠄⢡⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣉⣉⣩⣾⠏⣰⣿⣿⠏⠑⡀⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⣀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢸⣿⣿⠿⠯⠘⡿⠿⠁⢐⢿⣿⣿⣷⣶⠇⠄⠄⣀⣶⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⠛⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣵⣽⡛⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠈⢸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
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Emote

Homer mmmm

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⠒⠀⢀⡔⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠓⢄⡀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡀⡌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⠄⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡄⠁⠀⢀⣀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠔⡞⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡠⠈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢢⣿⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠀⠀⡀⢐⠆⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣄⡄⠀⠈⠀⠀⠁⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣿⠏⠻⠟⠀⡌⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠀⠀⠀⠠⠐⠉⠀⠀⢀⠨⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠆⠀⠀⠀⡀⠄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻
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Hank from Breaking Bad

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August 2021
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