[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Sub with Twitch Prime

⣿⢛⡛⡟⢻⡟⣿⢛⡛⣿⣿⢻⠟⢿⢻⠛⣟⠛⣛⡟⣿⠛⣿⣿ ⣿⢦⡍⣇⢸⡇⣿⢨⡅⢻⣿⡌⢸⠈⣼⠀⣿⠀⣿⡇⣤⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣾⣶⣿⣶⣿⣶⣿⣷⣿⣶⣿⣿ ⣏⡉⢉⡏⡿⠹⡏⡏⢹⡉⢉⣹⢋⡙⣿⢹⡏⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⢸⣧⠀⡇⢠⡇⢸⡇⢸⣿⠸⡟⣿⢠⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣾⣿⣶⣷⣾⣷⣾⣷⣾⣿⣶⣶⣿⣾⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢩⡍⡏⢩⡉⡏⢹⠉⢹⠉⣿⢉⣉⣿⡇⠻⠟⠁⠘⠿⠋⣿⣿ ⣿⢠⣴⡇⢠⠐⡇⢸⠀⡘⡆⣿⠰⠶⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿ ⣿⣾⣿⣷⣾⣷⣷⣾⣶⣷⣷⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿
January 2020

Rose

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⢔⣒⠂⣀⣀⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⠋⢠⣟⡼⣷⠼⣆⣼⢇⣿⣄⠱⣄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡀⣆⠙⠢⠐⠉⠉⣴⣾⣽⢟⡰⠃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣦⠀⠤⢴⣿⠿⢋⣴⡏⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡙⠻⣿⣶⣦⣭⣉⠁⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠇⡟⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⣘⣦⣀⠀⠀⣀⡴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠻⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠫⣿⠉⠻⣇⠘⠓⠂⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣄⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣷⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
January 2024

A spare I guess

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, I bought two bundles of asparagus today. I only needed one but the other can be 'a spare i guess'.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

AITA for drop kicking my 2 month old sister down the stairs?

Some backstory required: Earlier today I was trying to relax but she wouldn't stop fucking making annoying ass googoo gaga noises. So today, I see her, and she is actually standing up! First I think to take a picture and tell my parents, but than I remember what an entitled bitch she is. I run forward, and leap forward and plant both my feet in her face as we both tumble down the stairs. I told my parents that she crawked in front of me whilst I was about to use the stairs so I'm out of trouble, and the surgery went fine and she is basically fine although she seems to have fucking learned her lesson as she 'talks' a lot less now. Next time she does this I'm uppercutting her entitled little baby skull
August 2021

Am I The Asshole?

I love you chat FeelsGoodMan

⣿⠭⣿⣿⡏⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⠿⣿⠿⠻⣿⣿⡛⣿⡟⢻⠟⣫⡙⣿⠛⣿⢻⣿ ⣿⠄⣿⣿⡇⣿⢋⣶⡆⣿⠈⢏⣼⠃⣬⠕⣿⣿⣷⡘⢡⣿⠸⠟⣡⣿⠠⢟⢸⣿ ⣿⣼⣿⣿⣤⣿⣬⣭⣶⣿⣧⡾⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣯⣙⡁⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡛⣻⡇⢟⠋⣿⣏⠭⠈⣯⡆⢰⡾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⣾⠟⣻⠁⣿⠄⣟⢑⣫⣀⣿⣇⣨⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣳⣴⣿⠿⠯⠽⣻⢿⣿⡿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣾⣿⣫⣵⣶⣿⡿⠿⠶⠮⠙⠿⠛⣛⣩⣭⡭⠟⠛⠚⠛⣻⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⢹⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⡫⢕⣢⠭⠤⢤⣤⣏⣩⠪⣙⡠⢤⡩⠍⠄⢤⣄⡰⢙⣿ ⣿⢳⣏⣾⣿⣿⡩⠭⣱⣶⣿⠁⠨⠐⠂⢹⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⠄⠥⠐⠂⢹⣿⣿⣾ ⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⠽⢻⠦⢀⣀⣤⠾⢿⣛⡯⣛⣻⣿⠦⢀⣀⣴⣛⡻⣯⣿ ⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣩⣶⡶⠶⢤⣤⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣃⡻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣽⣛⠷⢾⣭⣝⣛⣛⡻⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢟⣛⢫⣿⣿ ⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣭⣽⣛⣛⣛⣛⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣻⣾⣿⣿ ⠄⠁⠨⠑⠲⠭⢭⣭⣽⣙⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠭⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2019

Pepe

Text-to-Speech Playing