[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My little Krummy Wummy

twitchquotes: "THIS GAME IS FUCKIN GARBAGE!" Kurum yelled, voice cracking slightly in exasperation. "What's wrong Huney-Krum?" Soju called out from the kitchen. "I JUST WENT 5TH TO A FUCKIN BOT... and what the hell did you call me, bowl cut?" Kurum responded, still fuming. "Well, you told me if I called you 'My little Krummy Wummy' one more time you were gonna kick my ass..." Soju pouted, his head peeking around the kitchen door frame "Look, if you take a little break, I know where you can still be top 1..
twitch chat
December 2019
Kurumx

Teamfight Tactics

Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr

twitchquotes: Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr (2000+) FailFish keep chat high quality
twitch chat
June 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Sad Crewmate

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⢷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡟⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⠟⢿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⠟⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠁⠀⢸⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⠟⠁⠀⢸⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⢿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⣠⣴⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢻⣶⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣶⡶⠂⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠉⠉⠙⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⢹⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⠸⢿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣶⣤⣴⣾⣿⠋⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠁⠀
January 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Pokemon Marathon Season 2 Intermission

twitchquotes: ResidentSleeper HOLD IT ResidentSleeper HOW PREDICTABLE ResidentSleeper THIS IS BORING ResidentSleeper NOT MY SHOULDER ResidentSleeper VERY SCARY-O ResidentSleeper THIS IS BORING AGAIN ResidentSleeper UNINTELLIGENT ResidentSleeper ?????? ResidentSleeper WANNA SHARE MY BLANKET ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
September 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

Slow mode, r9k mode, and randomly banning people, good job mods

twitchquotes: Boy, the mods in this channel have really done a bang-up job. When I first got here it was all cappuccino pasterino, but now that they're using slow mode, r9k and randomly banning people, we can finally have a productive chat without all the IDIOTS. Thank you, mods.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing