[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Mr Bear song (that's where your hopes go to die)

Well There's all sorts of creatures, down on Dangley Doodle Farm. Like wise old Mr Octopus, with way too many arms! There's Mr Pig! And Mr Cow! They're always in good moods. But That's cause they don't know they'll soon be sliced up into food! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to turn into despair. Mr Bear! What's That over there? That's where your dreams go to die! Mr Racoon! Wants to go to the moon. He'll end up as a bus driver soon! Mr Porcupine! Thinks he'll read the news at nine, he'll end up as a janitor, who stinks of turpentine. Mr Tiny Mouse! Thought he'd own a massive house. Ended up in a bed sit where he can't control the louse! Mr Horse! Though he'd go into professional sports. Now he's an alcoholic and he's on his third divorce! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the place your life becomes an endless questionnaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to die. Lower your expectations! Maybe you could get a job in telecommunications. No matter how you try you'll never reach the League of Nations. The best you'll get is middle rank in trading operations! So lower your expectations! You'll never win an oscar, so there's no congratulations. The future that is coming will not meet specifications. And no amount of visualisations will save you from your own deterioration Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the tramp who thought he'd be a multimillionaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where self-esteem goes to die. Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the disappointment that is waiting everywhere! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your schemes go to die! That's where your dreams go to die! That's where dreams go to die!
April 2022

Big Chungus v2

🟫🟫🟩🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟫🟫🟫🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟫🟫🟫🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟫🟫🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🈯🈯🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🈯🈯🈯🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🗻🟩🟩🗻🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🈯 🟫🈯🈯🟩🟩🟩🈯🗻🟧🈯🗻🟧🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🈯🈯 🟫🟫🟩🟩🟩🈯🈯🗻🟧🈯🗻🟧🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🈯🈯🈯🈯 🟫🟫🟫🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🟧🈯🗻🟧🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩🈯🈯🈯🈯 🟫🟫🟫🟫🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯🟩🟩🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻🗻🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⚪🗻⚪🗻🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻⬜🟥⚪⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⬜⬜🟥⬜🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🗻🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🗻🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🗻🗻🗻🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯⚪⚪🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⚪⚪⚪⚪🈯🈯 🈯🈯⚪⚪🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⚪⚪🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯⬜⬜🗻🗻🗻🗻🗻🗻⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯 🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯🈯
January 2022

Kripp 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢠⣾⣷⣔⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⣀⣼⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⠿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣧⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣯⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢻⣿⣟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⣼⣿⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣶⣄⠼⠶⣖⣶⣼⣿⣿⣾⣶⣔⣀⣓⣦⣿⣿⣿⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢹⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣎⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢪⣄⣤⠄⠐⠈⠙⠛⠛⠉⠄⠉⠛⠢⣽⣾⡿⠄⠘⡹⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠈⠹⣧⣀⣠⡤⠴⠶⠶⠶⢦⣴⣤⣤⣿⠃⠁⢠⣮⡟⢰⣿⢟⣽ ⣿⢙⢮⣻⣿⡁⠄⠄⠉⠙⢿⣿⣦⡀⡀⣀⣼⣿⡿⢻⠂⠄⢠⣿⣿⢁⣿⢃⣿⣿ ⣦⡐⣼⣿⣿⣧⠄⡗⣄⡀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠚⠛⠋⠋⠄⢀⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿
November 2020
Kripp

Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING!

twitchquotes: Had a colonoscopy today. My doctor was actually Russian. Now THAT is what I call RUSSIAN MEDDLING! They put me to sleep w/ same stuff Michael Jackon used. When I woke up, I MOON-walked right out of the hospital!
twitch chat
June 2018

Guys my moms said I'm grounded

twitchquotes: Guys my moms said I'm grounded 😭 and she took my computer away 😰 no more fortnite! 😲 So I posted her credit card numbers in my story as revenge! 😎😈 Heck you mom!😂
twitch chat
November 2018

Fortnite

Text-to-Speech Playing