[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I despise any streamer that isn't MOONMOON

twitchquotes: I despise with a burning acidic passion any streamer that isn't MOONMOON. Every night I print out an 8.5 x 11" picture of a streamer that is not MOONMOON and wipe my ass with it.Honestly, anyone who watches any streamer except forMOONMOON deserves to be tarred, and feathered, then burned at the stake. That's how fucking much I HATE stramers. (Besides MOONMOON, of course).
twitch chat
March 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

Anime girl surprised

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⢻⣿⣟⣛⣉⣉⣉⣉⠉⠉⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⠋⠀⠁⠐⠂⢀⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣤⣤⣄⣀⣠⠾⢯⣤⣦⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢾⣿⠟⢉⡉⠉⢹⣟⢿⣷⣦⢢⠘⣿⠃⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠸⠁⢰⣿⣷⣶⣤⣿⣷⠙⢿⡃⠀⠛⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠻⠿⣿⣟⣻⡿⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠟⣿⠇⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣭⣕⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠉⠻⢿⣦⡀⠹⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣷⣄⠀⣦⡻⣷⡀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣶⣦⡀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢿⣧⠄⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣏⡿⠃⣼⡿⠤⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠀⠀⠛⠃⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2021

Weebs

A man has fallen into depression in Lego city

A man has fallen into depression in Lego city Start taking anti-depressants hey.... (he says lifelessly to his wife and friends) Climb to the top of the lego city bridge and say your goodbyes Prepare to die, lower your expectations, and off the bridge The new suicidal collection from Lego City
December 2020

Lego City

SadgeCoomer

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⡶⢖⠒⣢⢀⡠⠤⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⢭⣾⠛⣓⡉⣖⡒⢒ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⢣⢪⣵⡶⢭⣛⡿⣌⡣⠨⢋⣦⣸⡣⡻⠈⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣮⡻⣶⣭⣭⣓⠮⣭⣓⡮⢭⣛⡻⠿⠿⠾⠿⠷ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⡻⠿⣿⣷⣾⣽⣛⠶⠮⣝⣓⡒⠶⠖⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣮⣭⣍⣉⣉⣁⣀⣈⠉⠉⠁⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠾⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣝⣛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢱⠖⠄
June 2021

Pepe

Shalom my fellow Twitchlings

twitchquotes: Shalom my fellow Twitchlings. My name is Herschel Goldstein, I hail from the ancient land of Israel. In this world there are two superior races: the valiant Japanese and the God-fearing Jews. When I met the great Kripp at Blizzcon 2013, he gave me a piece of advice that I will never forget: "Pentru a da oul omului, îl hrănești pentru o zi. Om învățat de ouă, îl va hrăni pentru o viață întreagă." Translated into foreign devil talk: I am coming Yankee scum. Get on board or get out of the way."
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing