[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Ming like a Lee

twitchquotes: Fly like a butterfly (ノ ̄ー ̄)ノ Sting like a bee (┌゚д゚)┌ RNG pls bless me ヾ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノ♪ Ming like a Lee ヽ MingLee ノ♪♬
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad

Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool

twitchquotes: Hey you, it's Tanner from highschool, remember me, dork? I thought I'd pop in after finishing my first 60 reps at the gym - y'know, that place REAL men go to? Anyways, guess you're still playing video games - AS USUAL. Have a nice life, "gamer"
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July 2019

Tanner from High School

I need you Kripp, love Trump

twitchquotes: Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ɢɪᴠᴇɴ ᴍᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴏғᴛ, ᴛᴇɴᴅᴇʀ, ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴ sᴏ ʟᴏɴɢ.... Yᴏᴜ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴡᴀʏs ɴᴏ ᴏɴᴇ ᴇʟsᴇ ᴄᴀɴ. Tʜᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴍᴇ ғᴇᴇʟ I ᴊᴜsᴛ Kreygasm... ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ. Sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴇɪᴠɪɴɢ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴛᴏ ǫᴜᴇʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜʀɢᴇs. ɪ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴍᴘ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018

WIFE TEST

twitchquotes: WIFE TEST 👩 IF YOU TOUCH THE WIFE , GO TO CHEAT 🏆 ⎝ forsenCD / 🏆 
twitch chat
April 2019
xQcOW
Text-to-Speech Playing