He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
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More Copypastas
Dear host EZ π· of digital streams EZ π·
twitchquotes:
Dear host 
π· of digital streams π· gentlemen from chat π· ask you to include male music π· with vocals π· of Gachirian era π·
π· of digital streams π· gentlemen from chat π· ask you to include male music π· with vocals π· of Gachirian era π·
twitch chat
KappaPride
Ameng be thy name
twitchquotes:
Our father who rolls in heaven, Ameng be thy name. thy goats may come, thy will be shattered, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily cheese, and forgive us our throwing, as we forgive those who throw against us, and lead us not into Mayhem, but deliver us from Justice.
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
For the blind, it is light
twitchquotes:
Who is [streamer name]? 
For the blind, π¦ it is light. π‘ For the hungry π£ , it is bread. π For the sick, π it is the cure. βοΈ For the sad π’ , it is joy. π For the poor π«π° , it is the treasure; π° βοΈ for the debtor β π° , it is forgiveness. π For the face πΆ , it is the lips π
For the blind, π¦ it is light. π‘ For the hungry π£ , it is bread. π For the sick, π it is the cure. βοΈ For the sad π’ , it is joy. π For the poor π«π° , it is the treasure; π° βοΈ for the debtor β π° , it is forgiveness. π For the face πΆ , it is the lips π
twitch chat
All Cops Are Sus (ACAS)
Instead of saying ACAB(all cops are bastar*ds) we should start saying ACAS(all cops are sus). Think about it, it's less offensive and it only shows that we think that a cop might be sus(suspicious) of something but not necesseraly guilty of it. It's the same thing in the popular game amogus with thinking that all red players are impostors really. This might sound stupid but hear me out. Statistically, every player regardless of their color has the same chance of being the impostor, yet, there is this social stigma that only red players are impostors. However, players of Amugus have developed this great system that will help them show their suspicion on someone without saying that they are the impostor(in case that they actually aren't). They say that someone is 'sus' so nobody gets their feelings hurt. We can apply this knowledge to the real world, right? If everyone can be an impostor in amongsus, regardless of their color, so can anyone be a bastard in real world, regardless of their task(job as some low inteligence individuals might call it).
Among Us / Amogus
SO MALD v2
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