He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
TSM aka "Truly Somewhat Mediocre"
TSM aka "Truly Somewhat Mediocre" is a North American team that consistently underperforms in all international tournaments. It is specifically known for having a weak early, mid, and late-game.
League of Legends
The Tomato Town Incident
At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
Fortnite
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xQcOW
Hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan!
twitchquotes:
H-hey Kripp-kun. It's me Samantha-chan! I know you don't know me that well, I sit in the column closest to the door and in the back row. Oh yeah, duh... LoL, we have Chemistry together with Ms. Raphatello. Ughh, she's such a b****! Anyways I'm being such a baka (LoL that's Japanese for idiot!). Oh, do you like Anime too? I'm sure if you gave it a chance you would too if you don't already watch it ~_~. I always look at you in Chemistry and you never seem to notice me... BAHHH WHAT AM I DOING?!?! GOMENASAI Artour-kun (gomenasai means sorry in Japanese ^.^). Just wanted to say hello and I really love your stream! Good luck Kripp-kun!
twitch chat
Kripp
Weebs
Classic
Krepo and a 14 year old
twitchquotes:
"So my girlfriend the other day asked if she could roleplay as a 14 year old while we were having sex. I was like what the fuck? That shit's gross. You're gonna be 14 in like two years anyways." - Krepo 2016
twitch chat
Sneaky