[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
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If PLTR hits 35 today

If PLTR hits 35 today I will wipe with quarter ply toilet paper and accidentally discover myself
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Dyrus thinks he's smart because of his eyes

twitchquotes: Ive had enough of dyrus , racist to blind people. All I wanted was him to read out his runes and masteries but nooooo he makes me go to lolnexus.. im fking blind why do u think i asked? u and ur eyes, You think ur smart just cus of ur eyes.
twitch chat
July 2014
Dyrus

One Piece logo

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠻⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣰⡆⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣦⣄⣀⣤⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⡿⠃⠀⡾⠃⣰⠟⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠈⢿⡀⠈⢿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⢀⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⣾⣿⡄⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣶⣶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣶⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠻⠿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⢿⣿⡿⠿⠃⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⠛⠲⠦⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⠴⠖⠛⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢸⢧⣀⠀⢰⡇⠀⠈⠉⡏⠉⠀⢸⠀⠀⢀⣼⡇⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⣟⠀⠈⠉⣾⠳⠶⠤⣤⣧⠤⠴⢾⡗⠉⠉⠀⢇⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠙⠻⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠑⢶⣤⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⣷⣠⡴⠖⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⠋⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2021

Weebs

Oh god I want xqc so bad

twitchquotes: Oh god I want xqc so bad 😩 💦 he's so smart 🤓 📚 and cute 😘 🙈 I would take him to my apartment and kiss him 👄 😘 lick him 👅 😛 and finger him 👉 👌 I would fuck him 🍆 💦 then I'd get him pregnant 🤰 👶 and we'd raise our own little baby 👨👨👦 👦 and play fortnite with him 🎮 ⌨️ xd
twitch chat
April 2019
xQcOW

Emoji Pasta

HELLO BLIZZARD I WANT TO REPORT A BUG

twitchquotes: 📞 BabyRage HELLO BLIZZARD 📞 BabyRage I WANT TO REPORT A BUG 📞 BabyRage MY OPPONENTS ARE ALL NETDECKERS
twitch chat
February 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

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