[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
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More Copypastas

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING

My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING 😱😎 Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff ☺️ to my impostor body pillow, 😱 but when I came, 👻 I started floating, 😱 and think I got teleported into the skeld. 😮 I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.🤤 🍑 🍑 I immediately was transported back to earth, 😭 and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, 🤪 as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter 💪 “IM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTER” I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me 🤤 but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. 😔😒🙁☹️ She then said I was going to a magical place called the “mental asylum” 🤔 I’m not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC 😮
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Papparian returns from a business trip

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Papparian here. I recently returned from my business trip. All the furniture is gone, my bank accounts are empty and I found out you moved to Europe. What in the heck is going on???
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Captain Jean-Luc Picard facepalm

...........................................________........................ ....................................,.-‘”...................``~.,.................. .............................,.-”...................................“-.,............ .........................,/...............................................”:,........ .....................,?......................................................\,..... .................../...........................................................,}.... ................./......................................................,:`^`..}.... .............../...................................................,:”........./..... ..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../..... ............./__.(.....“~-,_..............................,:`........../........ .........../(_....”~,_........“~,_....................,:`........_/........... ..........{.._$;_......”=,_.......“-,_.......,.-~-,},.~”;/....}........... ...........((.....*~_.......”=-._......“;,,./`..../”............../............ ...,,,___.\`~,......“~.,....................`.....}............../............. ............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-”............... ............/.`~,......`-...............................\....../\................... ..............\`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....\,__........... ,,_..........}.>-._\...................................|..............`=~-,.... .....`=~-,_\_......`\,.................................\........................ ...................`=~-,,.\,...............................\....................... ................................`:,,...........................`\..............__.. .....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``....... ........................................_\..........._,-%.......`\............... ...................................,
June 2021

Kripp gets in trouble exploiting Noz and jousting

twitchquotes: (·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿)" Kripp, This is Officer Dongerino of the Blizzard PD. We need to question you about your Noz deck and jousting exploit. If any of you copy and paste this, you will be subject to banning from Blizzard games forever. Come with me, Kripp (·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿)
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Mesothelioma ad script

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March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing