[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Florida Mayhem McDonald's

twitchquotes: Guys, the color scheme of McDonald's consists of red, yellow, and white. It does not include blac k like Florida Mayhem. Stop spamming about how they are McDonald's already. It's untrue and unfunny.
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Hydra smile

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⠿⠿⠋⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⣉⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠒⠄⡟⠍⢻⣿⣿⠍⠛⠄⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠢⠄⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⠄⣤⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠻⣷⣌⣉⣉⣴⠿⣀⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⢰⣿⣿⣿⡏⢰⡟⣡⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡀⣭⣭⣭⣥⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⠘⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⠁⡟⠏⢻⣿⡟⠍⢹⡇⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣆⢻⠿⢋⣉⣤⡀⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⡇⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣇⠻⣧⣝⣛⣛⣭⡿⠃⣩⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣍⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣶⣌⢉⣉⣉⣥⠞⢸⡿⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⢿⠄⠿ ⣿⣿⠇⣸⣿⣿⣿⡄⢹⣿⠆⠙⣉⣡⣀⢸⣧⣠⣾⣿⣷⣤⣼⠄⣀ ⡿⠋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢈⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣟⠻⠿⠟⣻⣿⢸⣿ ⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣬⡙⠿⠿⠿⣋⣵⣾⣿
May 2019

Lenny face fabulous

⊂_ヽ   \\    \( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)     ⌒ヽ    /   へ\    /  / \\    レ ノ   ヽ_つ   / /   / /|  ( (ヽ  | |、\  | 丿 \ ⌒)  | |  ) / `ノ )  Lノ (_/
December 2020

Romanian Salt Baron

twitchquotes: POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
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I'm going to kill that prosterino

twitchquotes: The Prostitute asks the Kripp, "Why don't you make a D3 video?" Kripp flies into a rage and hits her with an ornate salt shaker yelling, "I'm going to kill that prosterino!" When the cops finally caught him, after the 2 hour shootout, Kripp lies bleeding on the ground and mutters weakly to the sky..."I played that perfectly, nothing I coulda done cough what a joke.."
twitch chat
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Kripp
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