[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

xqc DUD

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⢀⣐⡓⢘⣃⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⢹⣿⠈⣿⡇⠀⣿⠀⣿⡇⢹⣿⡄⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢠⣿⣧⣼⠟⠀⠿⣧⣤⠟⢠⣿⣧⣼⠟⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021
xQcOW

Hank from Breaking Bad

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠋⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⡿⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠸⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡧⢕⠂⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠏⠃⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠈⠀⠀⠀⠐⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣶⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣴⣴⣄⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⠌⣻⣦⣤⡀⢀⣤⡠⢔⡀⢀⣀⣉⢻⢿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⠋⡟⠙⠛⠚⠘⠋⢉⠁⠈⠙⠋⠃⠿⠟⠛⠩⠹⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡎⡐⠙⠓⠚⠉⠠⣾⡆⠀⢰⠀⠒⠒⠒⠂⡀⢺⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡁⠀⠀⠀⡤⠔⡎⠂⠀⠈⡖⣀⡀⠀⠀⠨⠄⢿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣷⣿⣧⣠⡖⠁⠀⣿⣧⣀⣀⣠⣷⠀⠉⢦⣤⣤⣷⡗⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣸⠉⠛⢿⣶⣄⡨⠻⢿⣿⣿⣅⣄⣶⣾⠿⠛⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣦⠀⠀⠈⠻⢍⠙⠉⠋⠋⠉⡿⠋⠀⠀⣼⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠞⣦⠀⢬⢧⣄⣀⡁⠉⣀⣠⡽⠁⠀⡼⠅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣧⣄⡉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠀⢠⣼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣷⡄⠈⠀⠀⢀⢀⣤⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠶⠼⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡱⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠟⠛⠁⠄⠂⠀⠓⠋⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⠜⢖⣁⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⣐⢠⣴⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣛⠿⠻⠉⠯⣉⠠⠹⠚⠺⠿⢿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⡿⡿⣿⣷⠆⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡟⠻⣋⢉⣉⠁⣀⢀⣄⣠⣄⡀⠀⣉⣉⣙⠻⢻⣿⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣾⡏⠑⠓⠉⢉⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⠑⠚⠓⢛⣾⣼⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⡿⠻⠠⢤⣔⣼⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣲⣄⠀⠘⠻⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣧⠀⣀⠟⠃⠡⣿⠿⠞⠽⣿⠈⠛⣶⣀⣇⣿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣾⣯⠃⢠⣴⣦⠀⠀⣠⣴⣦⡀⠘⣿⡷⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣾⡇⢠⡿⡿⠻⠁⢠⠸⠻⢿⢷⠀⢸⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡇⠊⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⣤⣀⠃⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⣬⡶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣦⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⡿⡛⢟⢶⣶⣽⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⢶⣴⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
August 2021

AITA for invading Ukraine?

Using my alt account because of personal reasons. So anyway, I[69M(literally)] am a high government official of a country with a strong military. Anyway, I am clinically diagnosed with Invasiontia[for anyone who doesn't know it's meaning, it basically means my mind forces me to invade countries, very few people are diagnosed with it(like Adolf Hitler), so i guess it makes me quirky uwu], so i really can't be the one to blame. I do what i like, usually, but people often judge me for living my life on my own terms. My distant relative, who has a history of playing fortnite and being antivax, being a furry, pedophile, and being a baby yoda hater called me today and abused me verbally, and told me what i was doing was wrong. I was heartbroken by their words. Not only that, Emily[She/They 13 diagnosed with 255 mental illnesses] made a really mean tweet against me today. She compared me to Hitler (I know Hitler and I have the same mental illness, but it doesn't mean I am as much of an asshole like he is, right?). All this negativity is severely affecting my mental health(i come from a country where mental health isn't given a lot of importance and also my country isn't very supportive of gay people), and i am now contemplating suicide by shooting myself in the head. Everyone thinks i am an asshole, what do you think reddit? AITA?
March 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Russian Ukrainian War

Beavis

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡤⠄⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣫⣭⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠩⢿⠯⣓⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣀⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠦⠄⣰⡒⠶⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣭⣤⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣁⣀⡉⠁⠤⠄⠒⠛⠛⢋⣉⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡀⢲⣶⣶⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠸⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⡿⠋⠉⠄⠄⠉⠛⠛⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡄⢀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿
July 2022

Here's an "extended maintenance" for you

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮ Hey Blizzard, here's an "extended maintenance" for you ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing