He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Useless Spotify ad
twitchquotes:
Thanks for listening to Spotify. No, really. You could've listened to the radio. You could've spun some vinyl. You could've played a cassette tape. You could've listened to an eight track tape, if you knew what an eight track tape looked like. But you listened to Spotify. Thanks for that. And you still have hundreds of more playlists to enjoy
twitch chat
Kripp Fapparian
twitchquotes:
After the execution of Cattarian, orchestrated by House Fapparian, Rania Cattarian of House Cattarian vowed to take revenge on her husband and the king of Twitcheros, Kripp Fapparian. Rania infiltrated Kripp's Landing to sprinkle 
on Kripp's foodies during the royal streaming session. Kripp's last words were, "***, I'M NEVER LUCKY!"
on Kripp's foodies during the royal streaming session. Kripp's last words were, "***, I'M NEVER LUCKY!"
twitch chat
Kripp
Dear Kripp, This is Twitch CEO Dick McPeenballs
twitch chat
Kripp
Only the fattest NA fan can hold his taco
only the fattest NA fan can hold his taco ⎝ 
⎠Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets
twitchquotes:
Pedestrian: i want to give a shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets
twitch chat
Reynad