[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
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You've been gnomed 3

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⡠⡤⡤⡤⡤⡤⡤⡠⡤⡤⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣗⢝⢮⢯⡺⣕⢡⡑⡕⡍⣘⢮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⣝⢮⡪⡪⡪⡎⡎⡮⡲⣱⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢸⡳⡽⣝⢝⢌⢣⢃⡯⣗⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠹⡽⣺⢽⢽⢵⣻⢮⢯⠟⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠽⠽⡽⣽⣺⢽⠝⠄⠄⢰⢸⢝⠽⣙⢝⢿ ⡄⢸⢹⢸⢱⢘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⣵⣧⣫⣶⣜⣾ ⣧⣬⣺⠸⡒⠬⡨⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣽⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠡⠑⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠠⢀⢀⢀⡀⡀⠠⢀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢐⢀⠂⢄⠇⠠⠈⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠠⠈⢈⡄⠄⢁⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠠⠐⣼⠇⠄⡀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⡀⠈⠂⣀⠄⢀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⠐⢀⣸⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2018

not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe

twitchquotes: Although I am very reluctant to do so, I am very sorry to inform you, sir, that the statement that you have just made through the use of online means in the format of a picture, video, message of text, or a combination of the three, is partially, somewhat, relatively, incompletely, fractionally, slightly - a miniscule degree of not gonna lie low-key kinda cringe.
twitch chat
June 2019

I am financially ruined

I came here for the first time and in 3 minutes made the decision to put way more than I can afford into PLTR calls. I’m too retarded and now I literally dont know what to do I am financially ruined and I can’t even remember what I read that said this pltr thing was a good move. Fml
December 2020

WallStreetBets

How will this effect my embroidery frame?

twitchquotes: Hey reynad i'm an artist, i fucked up my picture, how will this effect my embroidery frame?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Pog

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠹⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣻⣿ ⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣾⡟⠛ ⠿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⠿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀ ⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠿⢿⣿⣷⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⢿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣶⣤⣶⣶⣶⣦⣄⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣻⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020
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