[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Among Us crewmate

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⡿⠛⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣷⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠈⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣯⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣷⡄⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⠀ ⠀⢰⣿⡟⠋⠉⣹⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠀ ⠀⣸⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⢿⣿⡆⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠸⣿⣧⡀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⠶⠀⢠⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⣽⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⢹⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿⠁⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

Did you ever hear the tragedy of xQc?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of xQc? I thought not. It's not a story the OWL casters would tell you. It's a tank legend. xQc was a tank main, so powerful and so wise he could use his shield to influence the DPS to do their jobs.. He had such a knowledge of the shields that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The tank mains of the game is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was getting banned for toxicity, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reported him to blizzard in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
May 2019
xQcOW

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Overwatch

Hot Twitch streamers are just not good for my health

Her streams are just not good for my health. She is so hot I skip every stage and go straight to post nut clarity, then I get a deep feeling of loneliness and dread. I just don't know what to do with myself and everything seems pointless.
December 2021

Coomer

Monke

⠄⠄⠄⣠⢴⢴⡴⣤⢤⣄⠄⠄⢀⠄⣀⡤⣴⣺⡽⣯⡷⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣔⢞⢝⢝⠽⡽⣽⣳⢿⡽⣏⣗⢗⢯⢯⣗⡯⡿⣽⢽⣷⣟⣷⣄ ⠄ ⠄⡗⡟⡼⣸⣁⢋⠎⠎⢯⢯⡧⡫⣎⡽⡹⠊⢍⠙⠜⠽⣳⢯⣿⣳ ⠄ ⠄⢕⠕⠁⣁⢬⢬⣌⠆⠅⢯⡻⣜⢷⠁⠌⡼⠲⠺⢮⡆⡉⢹⣺⣽ ⠄ ⠄⠄⡀⢐⠄⠄⠄⠈⠳⠁⡂⢟⣞⡏⠄⡹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣺⡐⣞⣾ ⠄ ⠄⢰⡳⡹⢦⣀⣠⡠⠤⠄⡐⢝⣾⣳⣐⣌⠳⠦⠤⠤⣞⢼⢽⣻⡷ ⠄ ⠄⢸⣚⢆⢄⣈⠨⢊⢐⢌⠞⣞⣞⡗⡟⡾⣝⢦⣳⡳⣯⢿⣻⣽⣟ ⠄ ⠄⠘⡢⡫⢒⠒⣘⠰⣨⢴⣸⣺⣳⢥⢷⣳⣽⣳⢮⢝⢽⡯⣿⣺⡽ ⠄ ⠄⠄⠁⠪⠤⢑⢄⢽⡙⢽⣺⢾⢽⢯⡟⡽⣾⣎⡿⣮⡳⣹⣳⣗⠇ ⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⡸⡡⠑⠤⣠⡑⠙⠍⡩⡴⣽⡗⣗⣟⣷⣫⢳⢕⡏ ⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⡇⡇⡆⡌⡀⡉⠫⡯⢯⡫⡷⣽⣺⣗⣟⡾⡼⡺ ⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⡎⡎⡎⣞⢲⡹⡵⡕⣇⡿⣽⣳⣟⣾⣳⡯⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢯⡣⡣⡣⡣⡣⣗⡽⣽⣳⢯⢷⣳⣻⣺⣗⡇ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⡙⠺⢪⢪⡺⡵⣯⣗⡯⡿⣽⢽⢾⣳⠏ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠢⠄⣀⣀⢉⠊⣊⣉⡬⡶⡻⣝⡞ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠙⢙⢑⢹⣘⠮⠛⠈ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠁⠑⠁⠄⠄ monke
April 2021

Hitler's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Well Met Kripp. This is Hitler from 1940. I came here to recruit your mods to be officers in my third reich army. please no copy seig heil pasterino .
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

MODS

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