[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

But I believe Tyler1 can save the world

twitchquotes: Long ago, the five positions lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Riot Balance Team attacked. Only the Alpha, master of all five positions, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he got banned. Two years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Alpha, a Draven main named Tyler1, and although his Draven skills are great, he has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Tyler1 can save the world...
twitch chat
October 2018

you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

twitchquotes: LUL you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about OMEGALUL
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Hello, trump supporter

Hello, OP. I've searched through your account history and see that you agreed with trump once back in 2017. As a redditor, and a good human, i have downvoted every post and comment on your account as far back as december 7th, 2013, on 5 different alternate accounts. I have reported every single post you have ever made. I hacked into reddit's serverbase and found out your IP address, real home address, and have constructed several bombs which are shipping there as we speak. I await your death, nazi.
August 2021

Donald Trump

pepeSpit

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⢾⣶⣦⢀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⡀⢿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡾⠁⣀⠙⠸⣿⡇⡟⣋⣩⣴⣶⣶⣶⣍⢿⣷⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⢷⡄⠄⠄⢠⣝⡀⠤⣴⣧⣭⠄⡞⠛⠻⣭⣭⣭⡛⢿⢸⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣶⣶⣶⢸⠄⠒⠄⢸⣿⣿⣷⡌⡼⣿⣿⣧⠄ ⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣀⢠⣴⡾⢟⡻⢿⣿⣷⢄⣐⠶⠿⠿⠛⣛⣃⣴⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⢉⣉⡉⢭⣥⣿⣧⡘⣿⣮⣻⣿⣶⣮⣭⣍⣋⣭⣭⣴⣿⣿⣟⣱⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⠟⠄⠘⣿⡿⢛⣣⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⠻⠋⠄⠄⠄⠘⢇⣛⣛⣛⣩⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣶⣶⣝⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣝⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣩⣤⣄
November 2021

Pepe

moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity

twitchquotes: Don't get it twisted chat. moon2LULT wasn't dropped due to lack of popularity or for a better emote or anything. It was a selfish desire to personally absolve the broadcaster of his poor use of ultimate abilities. He wants to forget, but this we cannot allow. Every McCree Q to respawn, we moon2LULT. Every Winston ult jumping off the edge, we moon2LULT. Every time he presses Q at 20 HP and dies instantly, we moon2LULT. You must be vigilant, vertical scrolling communication room. moon2LULT
twitch chat
June 2017
MOONMOON
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