[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
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Transcript of Will Smith and his wife

Jada: Are you going to let him speak about me like that? Will: What, it was funny, you were terrible in G.I. Jane J: I wasn't in G.I. Jane, Will W: Oh, then why did he say that? J: It was a joke about my hair!! W: Girl, you ain't got no hair J: THATS THE POINT WILL!! W: Ohh. ohhhh. OH Hell No!!
March 2022

Will Smith Slap

Military intervention on the territory of Kripparrian chat

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノTHIS IS MILITARY INTERVENTION ON THE TERRITORY OF KRIPPARRIAN CHAT, WE ARE TRYING TO PROTECT RUSSIANS IN THIS CHAT!! WE TAKING 1/3 OF THE CHAT OVER ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
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Making poops of different shapes

twitchquotes: Sᴏᴍᴇᴛɪᴍᴇs ᴡʜᴇɴ I ᴘᴏᴏᴘ, I ᴜsᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sʜᴀᴘɪɴɢ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄʜᴍᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴍʏ ᴏʟᴅ Pʟᴀʏ Dᴏʜ ғᴜɴ sᴇᴛ. I ᴘʟᴀᴄᴇ ɪᴛ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴀɴᴜs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ᴘᴏᴏᴘs ɪɴ ᴅɪғғᴇʀᴇɴᴛ sʜᴀᴘᴇs. Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀᴛ ᴀʟʟ. I'ᴍ ᴀɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ, ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴ Aᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀ, ᴀɴᴅ ɪғ I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴏᴏᴘs sʜᴀᴘᴇᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ sᴛᴀʀs, I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ. Tʜᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅɪɴɢ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ɪᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴀʏ.
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You leave me little choice, evil mods!

twitchquotes: <::::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ You leave me little choice, evil mods! Face me!
twitch chat
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Forsen

98% of memes aren't even remotely funny

twitchquotes: Did 👏 You 👈 Know? 💭 98% of 💦 memes 🐸 aren't 🚫 even 🌃 remotely funny, 😄 but 🍑 rather 👉 an 👹 indication of 💦 the 👏 low 📉 intelligence, absence of 💦 empathy, and 👏 devolution of 💦 modern 🖥 man. 👨
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July 2017
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