He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I'm just a poor pasta maker
twitchquotes:
I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
twitch chat
A Reddit comment summarized and compressed
Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox.
Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
"Just one more" Kripp muttered
twitchquotes:
"Just one more" Kripp muttered, as the sun slowly rose over the Canadian horizon. His forehead dripping with Vegan sweat, his eyes droopy with fatigue, Rania at the door with suitcases of her stuff and signed divorce papers, and Dex a mere pile of starved bones, Kripp once again clicked the Queue button with Ashka at the ready. "This time I'll get MVP for sure."
twitch chat
Kripp
Battlerite
V for Vendatta
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ
βββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββ
ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬ββββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββββββ¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬βββ¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ¬β¬β¬β¬βββ¬β¬β
ββ¬βββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬βββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬βββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬βββ¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬β¬ββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬ββββββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββββββββ¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬βββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬βββββ¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬βββββββ¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬βββββββ¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬βββββ¬β¬βββ¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬βββ¬β¬βββββ¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬βββ¬β¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬β¬βββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬βββββ¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ¬β¬β¬β¬βββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β
ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β
βββ¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬ββ
βββ¬β¬βββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬βββ¬β¬ββ
βββ¬β¬βββββ¬β¬β¬βββββ¬βββββ¬β¬β¬βββββ¬β¬ββ
ββββ¬β¬ββββββββββ¬β¬β¬ββββββββββ¬β¬βββ
ββββ¬β¬β¬β¬ββββββββββββββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬βββ
βββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ
ββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬βββββ
βββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββββ
ββββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬βββββββ
βββββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββββββ
ββββββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬ββββ¬β¬β¬β¬β¬βββββββββ
ββββββββββββ¬β¬β¬β¬ββ¬β¬β¬β¬βββββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
There is no such thing as freedom of speech on Twitch
twitchquotes:
There is no such thing as freedom of speech on Twitch. Freedom of speech means the Government can't police your speech. None of us are government actors. This is not a democracy, it's a dictatorship with the head of said dictatorship being the streamer and the enforcement of the dictators laws falling to the mods
twitch chat