[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Lenin

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⠶⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠷⠶⢶⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣶⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⢿⣶⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⢠⣤⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⡀⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠏⠛⠛⠿⣷⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣾⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⢦⣼⣿⣿⡔⣾⣿⡇⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⡟⢀⣤⣶⣶⠾⢿⣿⣷⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⢛⡿⢿⣷⡶⠦⣤⣄⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⠃⠄ ⣶⢾⣿⠄⠉⠁⠉⠉⠄⠤⠞⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⠄⠈⠄⠄⠁⠉⣽⠟⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡏⣧ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠄⠣⡀⢀⣸⣿⠿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⢹⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠚⣛⡊⣻⣿⡛⠗⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⡜ ⠈⢻⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢀⣴⣴⣿⣿⠿⢾⡻⠿⢿⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⠁ ⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣄⠄⠉⠁⠄⠳⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⡟⠃⠄⠁⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣆⣀⣀⡀⡀⡖⣸⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠁⢿⣿⡿⠍⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣴⠄⠰⣿⣿⣇⢀⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠙⠿⣷⣤⣼⣿⣿⣾⣷⣾⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣶⣤⡈⠛⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⢶⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⡿⠿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
March 2022

Greek Prime Minister Georgios Pastopoulos

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is Greek Prime Minister Georgios Pastopoulos, since you left our exports of 'BROFISTS' have dropped to 0 and the economy is in shambles. What little food we can afford is used to feed a sad betrayed cat we found. Please come back.
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Travis Scott Burger

I have a theory about the Travis Scott burger. I think it’s a sham. It’s all a multi million dollar misinformation campaign. McDonalds has been hurting for a new supply of beef due to the Covid 19 pandemic. With all of the meat processing plant closures, they had to look elsewhere to get their precious beef for the ever so hungry American. They needed a new supplier. This has to be nobody other than Travis Scott. You see, since marrying Kylie Jenner, he had access to all of her cosmetic company’s animal testing plants. It was easy for Travis to get ahold of meat... it was too easy. Travis knew McDonalds was desperate for new meat, so he struck while the iron was hot. Through a swift negotiation, he had the multi billion dollars corporation by the balls, the sweet sweet balls. Travis agreed to supply them with the meat, only he lead them to believe it was coming from cows when in reality he was harvesting the animals from the animal cosmetic testing lab. In exchange, he got his name on the McDonalds menu. All for what? Now you may be wondering how I came across this info. And you may be wondering who sent you this information. It was Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack sent this info.
October 2020

Putin

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣵⣿⣿⣿⠿⡟⣛⣧⣿⣯⣿⣝⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣍⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⢼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢹⣿⣿⢻⠎⠔⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⠇⡶⠄⣿⣿⠿⠟⡛⠛⠻⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣗⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠐⣿⣿⡿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⣶⣶⣶⣿⣁⣔⣤⣀⣼⢲⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣟⣿⣿⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣽⠛⢻⣽⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⡷⠻⢻⡻⣯⣝⢿⣟⣛⣛⣛⠝⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠸⣿⣿⡟⣹⣦⠄⠋⠻⢿⣶⣶⣶⡾⠃⡂⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠟⠋⠄⢻⣿⣧⣲⡀⡀⠄⠉⠱⣠⣾⡇⠄⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⢾⣾⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⠟⠃⠄⠄⢈⣻⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣾⣷⡄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
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November 2018
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