[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
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More Copypastas

I want to become a walrus

twitchquotes: Hello, I am currently 15 years old and I want to become a walrus. I know there's a million people out there just like me, but I promise you I'm different. On December 14th, I'm moving to Antarctica; home of the greatest walri. I've already cut off my arms, and now slide on my stomach everywhere I go as training. I may not be a walrus yet, but I promise you if you give me a chance and the support I need, I will become the greatest walrus ever. Thank you all.
twitch chat
July 2014

Classic

All Star by Ben Shapiro

Now, lets say, hypothetically, that somebody once told me that the world would proceed to roll me, and made the claim that I was not, the smartest tool in the shed. Which would lead us to look at the facts and see that she was looking kind of dumb, due to the fact that she had placed her finger and her thumb, in the shape of the letter L, located on her forehead. This would mean that the years would start coming, and logically wont stop coming, that I was, hypothetically, fed to the rules, which would proceed with me hitting the ground running. Which didn’t make sense, to live for fun, in a way that your brain gets smart, yet your head gets dumb, seeing as there’s so much to do, and so much to see, so now I must pose the question, what is wrong with taking the backseat? This is due to the fact that you’ll never know if you don’t go, nor you will shine if you don’t glow. For you see, you are, at this moment, an All-Star, so get your game on, and proceed to go play, indeed, you’re an All-Star, get the show on, which would entitled you to get paid. That would mean that all that glitters, is indeed gold, and that only shooting stars, can participate in the process of breaking the mold.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Hypers

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⠙⠋⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠈⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠁⠀⢠⣶⡷⠶⠚⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠻⡃⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⠁⠀⠠⠟⠉⠀⣀⠤⠤⠤⢤⣉⠉⢀⣠⠤⠒⢒⠶⠚⠓⠀⠈⠓⢦⡀⠀⠈⣿ ⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠋⠀⠀⢀⡠⠤⠌⣀⣀⡀⠄⠊⠁⣠⠄⡀⠈⠻⣶⣄⢻⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠞⢁⣤⢠⡄⢨⠹⣿⣷⡄⣾⣿⠀⠄⠘⠂⣿⣿⢣⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⢴⣿⣿⠀⠂⠈⠀⠸⠟⠘⠻⠿⠆⠀⠀⠀⠈⡰⡿⠀⠀⢸ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣉⣉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣴⡿⢧⡇⠀⣾ ⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣯⣙⣛⡛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⢛⣛⣋⣭⣥⡖⡿⠁⠀⢠⣿ ⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⡀⠀⠀⠐⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⡶⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⣾⣦⣄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣶⣯⣭⣭⣽⣟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣫⣭⣭⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Zven checks his PayPal

twitchquotes: After his loss, Zven stays up deep into the night. As the rest of TSM sleeps, he opens up a new window to check his PayPal. A smile stretches across his face
twitch chat
April 2019
Riot Games

Classic

League of Legends

Sad Anime Girl

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢋⣩⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣙⣉⣉⣉⣉⣙⡛⢋⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣬⡙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣡⣶⣿⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙ ⣿⢋⣼⣿⠟⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⠃⣾⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢰⣶⣼⣿⣷⣿⣽⠿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⣿⣷⡀⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⢃⣺⣿⣿⣿⢿⠏⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡾⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣷⣄⠄⠈⠉ ⡼⣻⣿⣷⣿⠏⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤ ⣇⣿⡿⣿⠏⣸⣎⣻⣟⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⣼⢆⠻⣿⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡿⠋⠈⠉⠄⠉⠻⣽⣿⣿⣯⢿⣿⣿⡻⠋⠉⠄⠈⠑⠊⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⣰⠱⠿⠄⠄⢨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢶⠷⠄⠄⢄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠘⣤⣿⡀⣤⣤⣤⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢠⣤⣤⡄⣸⣀⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⣿⣿⣷⣌⣉⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣛⣋⣴⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿ ⢹⣿⢸⣿⣻⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣭⡿⠻⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹ ⠈⣿⡆⠻⣿⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⣭⣍⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⣼ ⣦⠘⣿⣄⠊⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣼⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠟
September 2020

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing