[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
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Listen up here c9 police

twitchquotes: Listen up here c9 police, if the enemy team capture the point and nobody gets in it to stop them then it is scientifically classified as a c9 so stop trying to ruin everybodys fun and get a life
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May 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

PepeLMAO

⡿⣛⣵⣶⡿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣯⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣶⣌⢫⣿⢻⣿⡿⡶⠖⠒⠨⢸⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠆⢃⣾⣯⠮⠂⡒⢠⣠⢄⣙⠝⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡭⠖⢒⠭⠁⠠⠕⢸⢈⣥⣬⠁⠄⢂⢠⣾⣶⠆⣦⣝⡻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠔⠠⠔⠒⠄⡨⣰⠆⢳⠾⢿⣭⣭⣶⠿⠟⠉⠄⠠⠻⣿⣮⢻⣿ ⣿⣷⠶⢒⡞⡱⡚⣠⣎⡁⠴⣊⣠⡆⣷⣿⡷⠖⣀⣠⣶⠶⠞⣁⡀⠄⠘⣿⣷⠹ ⣿⣿⣯⣴⡈⢞⢆⣿⣷⣶⣿⡿⠟⣐⣭⣴⠶⢛⣫⣥⣶⣞⢿⣷⣻⠄⠄⢸⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣶⢤⣍⡉⢡⢀⣰⠾⠟⡁⢴⣶⣹⣿⣷⡹⣿⣷⠻⠏⠄⡀⢸⣿⡇ ⣿⡟⣸⣿⡿⠋⡺⠠⡃⢀⣋⢥⣶⡻⣿⣯⢿⢷⣙⣿⣽⣰⣿⡏⣷⢰⡇⣼⣿⡇ ⣿⣇⣿⣿⡇⣿⡇⠄⠄⠻⣿⣧⢿⣷⡻⣿⣧⢿⣿⡾⣿⣧⣿⣧⡟⣼⣱⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠙⣿⣧⠸⣄⠘⠻⣵⢻⣷⡽⣿⣏⣿⣷⠿⣛⣈⡍⣰⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠈⠛⢷⣼⣿⣷⣌⡻⠛⣓⣛⣉⣤⠴⠿⢛⣡⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠡ ⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦⣌⣉⣉⣉⣛⣛⣶⣶⣶⢶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢋⣴⡇ ⣶⣦⣍⣛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⢓⣛⣩⡅⢰⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣒⠲⢾⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠟⣋⣴⣿⣿⣿
December 2018

Pepe

Lenny face centipede

╚═( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …..╚(███)╝ ……╚(██)╝ ………(█) ……….*
December 2020

I WANT TO TOUCH THE KRIPPARRIAN

twitchquotes: ᶤ ʷᵃᶰᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵏʳᶤᵖᵖᵃʳʳᶤᵃᶰ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

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