[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husbandโ€™s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
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Undertale Sans full body

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘๏ปฟโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
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Hey Kripp, here's a "hug" for you

twitchquotes: (ฦ† ห˜โŒฃห˜(ห˜โŒฃห˜) Hey Kripp, here's a "hug" for you. (ห˜โŒฃห˜)ห˜โŒฃห˜ C)
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Happy Merchant

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก โข”โข’โกฟโ ฏโ ฅโขฆโฃฆโฃพโฃ„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โฃพโขฎโ Šโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ ‰โ ›โ ณโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃงโฃฟโฃโกดโก”โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โก€โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ€โฃ€โฃฆโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฏโฃฟโขฝโ โขฐโฃขโฃถโฃฆโฃŒโ  โ ดโ †โ ˜โฃ€โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โ ”โ โ €โข‚โ ˜โขปโข›โฃ›โ ฟโฃโ โ €โ ผโฃโกดโฃ–โฃซโ ™โ ™โ ฟโกณโก…โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โข€โ ‚โ ฐโ €โ €โ ˆโก„โข โข“โฃบโข‡โก‡โฃŠโ โ €โ ‰โ โ ฒโ ’โ €โ €โ €โ ‘โ …โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โฃจโ €โก‡โ €โ €โ €โ ฐโขธโ „โ „โฃธโฃทโกฆโฃ„โขคโ „โข„โก€โฃ€โ คโ  โก€โ €โ ˆโก„โ €โ € โ €โ €โข โ โ ™โฃ‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โขพโ ˜โข โฃฟโฃŸโฃฟโฃฟโฃชโฃฎโฃถโฃธโฃฎโฃ–โฃขโฃŒโ โ €โ โ €โ € โ €โ €โขธโ €โ €โขนโ €โ €โ €โ €โ ธโ €โขโฃปโฃฏโฃฟโขฟโกซโขบโกฉโ โฃ‰โฃ‰โฃจโก—โ ‰โ ‚โ Šโ €โ € โ €โ €โกˆโ ‚โ €โฃพโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ †โกธโฃนโกฟโฃฟโฃฏโฃทโฃฑโฃ™โ ซโ งโ ทโฃฆโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โข โ ‡โ €โ €โข‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโ •โฃปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃŸโฃฟโฃฟโกทโฃถโฃพโ ฟโ ’โกโ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโก‡โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˆโข‡โ ปโ ฝโฃฟโกฟโขŸโฃฟโฃปโกŸโ โ ฐโฃฏโก•โกฐโ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขฉโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โ ฌโฃโ ฑโ จโ ฏโ ›โ ™โขโ €โข€โก€โฃจโก€โ คโขšโ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข‚โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข โ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโ „โ ฐโกถโ ฒโขฆโ “โ โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ กโก€โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โก„โ €โข€โ „โ Šโ ‰โ ™โ ‘โ ’โ Šโ ‰โ €โ €
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February 2021

Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
February 2022

WallStreetBets

Guys my moms said I'm grounded

twitchquotes: Guys my moms said I'm grounded ๐Ÿ˜ญ and she took my computer away ๐Ÿ˜ฐ no more fortnite! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ So I posted her credit card numbers in my story as revenge! ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜ˆ Heck you mom!๐Ÿ˜‚
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November 2018

Fortnite

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