[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I want to be Kripp's knee

twitchquotes: When I see Kripp's knee, I want to lick the knee. I want to live in the knee. I want to be the knee. I want to be the knee free. Please no copy pasterino dongerino pooperino.
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Mill druid is a great example of the theory of relativity

twitchquotes: Mill druid is a great example of the theory of relativity. The closer you get to the mill horizon the more time expands, eventually becoming infinite. ResidentSleeper
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January 2015
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xqcY

⠀⢀⣤⢚⣉⣉⣹⡿⠿⠛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠛⠳⠶⠶⠬⡙⠿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣰⠟⣡⠞⢛⣩⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣤⣐⠳⣄⠀⠀ ⣿⠞⣰⣾⣿⣿⠟⢛⣩⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣭⣭⣭⣭⣝⣛⡻⠿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀ ⡏⣸⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠶⠉⠻⣿⣦ ⠁⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠤⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢀⡤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣌⢿ ⡆⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡤⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⢰⡞⠀⠀⢠⠈⠛⣿⢸ ⡇⢸⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣾⠀⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⣀⣷⣤⣤⣶⣶⡿⠃⣸ ⠃⣼⣿⡆⠀⠈⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⠀⠀⣘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣿ ⡇⢻⣿⣿⡄⠀⠙⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢰⣿ ⠛⡌⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⢏⣾⡟ ⡀⢳⡘⣿⣿⣆⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣡⣾⡿⠁ ⣧⠘⢷⡘⣿⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⣠⣾⣿⠟⠁⠀ ⠋⣷⣾⣷⡌⢿⣿⣷⡀⠉⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⠟⣡⣾⡄⠀ ⣿⣮⡙⢿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠿⢛⣡⣴⣾⡿⠟⣩⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀
December 2020
xQcOW

Jade Idol, shuffle 3 more copies into the chat

twitchquotes: :christmas_tree: Jade Idol :christmas_tree: When this card enters the chat, shuffle 3 more copies into the chat :christmas_tree:
twitch chat
December 2016

Hearthstone

Imagine the profit!

twitchquotes: soon kripp. you will have enough subs to turn it into sub mode. you will cause a rage so fierce from the common plebs that they will only turn to subbing to not lose their spam rights. you will become the richest streamer on here based off the rage of others. imagine the profit!
twitch chat
November 2014
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