[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary.

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary. I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.
April 2022

Anime

Weebs

Attack on Titan

Kripp is a professional children's card game streamer

twitchquotes: Who the hell do you think you kids are? Kripp is a professional children's card game streamer and mobile games salesman, and you think you can just come in his chat and criticize him and his plays like you know something he doesn't? Get real. Maybe if you ate your veggies like my boy Kripp, you'd have the brainpower to make crazy split-second analytical decisions that can beat the other kids on the playground. Show some fucking respect
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Lost to EU at Worlds

twitchquotes: FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at Worlds FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at MSI FeelsBadMan Lost to EU at Rift Rivals FeelsBadMan EU lul... I guess... FeelsBadMan at least I can laugh at H2K FeelsGoodMan Nvm still more semis than us FeelsBadMan 🔫
twitch chat
August 2018

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Discord mod warning

Please DO NOT announce to the server when you are going to masturbate. This has been a reoccurring issue, and I’m not sure why some people have such under developed social skills that they think that a server full of mostly male strangers would need to know that. No one is going to be impressed and give you a high five (especially considering where that hand has been). I don’t want to add this to the rules, since it would be embarrassing for new users to see that we have a problem with this, but it is going to be enforced as a rule from now on. If it occurs, you will be warned, then additional occurrences will be dealt with at the discretion of modstaff. Thanks.
March 2022

Discord

Saddam Hussein hiding spot

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠹⠛⠛⠋⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠋⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
July 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing