[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Purify is a great card

twitchquotes: Hey guys blizzard here and we just wanted to say purify is a great card if you combo it with ancient watcher you spend 2 cards to get a 4 mana 4/5! think of all that value... If you want even more value you can try it with zombie chow! its a 3 mana 2/3!!!! Finally we just wanted to say we thought it would be better as a rare but we realized priest is not the best in arena so we made it common so almost all priests will have it!...
twitch chat
August 2016
PlayHearthstone

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Ban one elephant

twitchquotes: 🐘 BAN 🐘 ONE 🐘 ELEPHANT 🐘 AND 🐘 YOU 🐘 GET 🐘 THE 🐘 WHOLE 🐘 PARADE 🐘
twitch chat
November 2019

Ban X Get The Whole Y

I can see you

⠄⠠⢀⠐⡀⢐⠐⠐⠄⠂⠐⠄⠂⠐⠄⠐⠄⠂⠐⠈⠠⠑⠨⠢⡊⠔⡐⠄ ⠄⠂⠠⠐⠄⠄⡀⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⡀⠄⠈⠨⠠⡁ ⠄⠈⠄⠄⡀⢂⠠⠐⢀⠂⠠⠈⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠠⠄⠂⡀⠄⠈⠐ ⠄⠄⠄⡂⡐⠠⡂⠅⡂⠌⡐⠈⠄⠨⢀⠂⡁⠌⠠⡁⡂⠅⠌⠄⢂⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢂⠢⢨⣶⡾⢷⣦⡅⡂⠅⡡⢁⠂⡂⡂⢅⢑⣴⣾⠾⣮⣌⢐⠠⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢂⢊⢿⡏⠡⠂⢽⡗⢌⢂⠢⡁⠪⡐⠄⢕⢸⣿⠑⠡⢸⡿⢐⠨⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠅⡢⡙⠿⣾⢼⠟⡕⡑⢔⠡⡊⢌⠢⡑⡑⡌⡻⢷⢷⠟⢍⠢⡁⠂⠄ ⠄⠄⠌⡂⡪⡑⡆⣇⣣⣱⣸⣰⣱⣜⣬⣪⣬⣦⣣⣎⣖⣔⣕⢅⢕⠨⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡑⣬⣺⡾⣿⣿⣻⣯⣿⣟⣿⣽⣿⣻⣿⣾⢿⣻⣿⣻⣯⣿⣲⢅⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢪⢗⣯⡏⠙⣯⣿⣯⣷⣿⣿⣽⣾⣿⢷⣿⡿⣿⣻⠝⢓⡷⡯⡣⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠈⢝⢞⡿⣦⡀⠙⠯⢿⢷⣿⣽⢿⣾⢿⡯⡟⠏⢁⢤⡿⡝⡕⠁⠄⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠝⣗⣟⡷⣤⣀⣁⠈⠈⠉⠊⣁⡠⣤⢶⣻⢽⠱⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠸⠹⠽⡽⣽⣻⣻⣟⣟⣷⣻⢽⢫⠣⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠣⢣⢓⢗⢳⢹⢸⠸⠈⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄I CAN SEE YOU⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
January 2021

Gru and Spongebob fanfic

August 2021

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NSFW

​​I've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor

twitchquotes: ​​I've seen Tenz play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes. His spray control is otherworldly, his crosshair erratically jolting across the screen as his wrist muscles perfectly predict the next bullet's location. Time literally stops as he peeks, sunlight curving as his trigger finger impacts his left mouse button, sending enemies to a digital shadow realm before they even know what happened. He is un-killable. He is undefeatable. This "man" is the epitome of eternal.
twitch chat
June 2021
TenZ

Valorant

Text-to-Speech Playing