[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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No one this year has a chance against TL

twitchquotes: Hate to break it to you, but no one this year has a chance against TL. They are easily the best team in the world this year, and its easy to see why. You have Impact, former world champion and the tank god ready to reclaim his title, and there is nothing that will stand in his way. Xmithie, the legendary jungle who knows the ins and outs of every single part of the game, ask him how much damage krugs will do to Anivia jungle at level 2 with just the starting item? He knows. Ask him where Mlxg will be at 20:43 into the game when its only 10:12? He can give you an area accurate to withing 500 units. You have Jensen, easily clapping perkz, caps, and your mum, as well as dominating the inferior Chinese and Korean mids. You have Doublelift, so called because he can carry twice as hard as any other ADC in the game, backed up by CoreJJ, a world champion who is so accurate with his Thresh hooks Riot had to program in a random number generator just to make sure he misses at least 20% of them to keep it fair to the enemy. Anyone who thinks EU, China, Korea, or any other team has a chance this year is straight up wrong.
twitch chat
August 2019

League of Legends

Twin Towers

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–Œβ–„β–„β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–“β–Œβ–‘β–β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–„β–„β–Œβ–‘ β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–β–“β–Œβ–„β–β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–β–“β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–β–’β–Œβ–β–Œβ–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–„β–“β–„β–„ β–“β–“β–Œβ–β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–β–’β–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
ascii art
April 2018

Henry Stickmin

β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β ”β ˆβ β „β ’β ’β‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘ β –β ‰β β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ’β’€β‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’ β Žβ „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£†β „β „β’»β‘†β ™β£†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’ β‘‡β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ „β „β „β£·β „β ˜β‘„β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓒ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˜β‘†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ „β „β’°β‘Ÿβ „β’ β ‡β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣄⠄⒀⠄⠄⠄⣸⠇⠄⠄⑿⠁⒠⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ “β’€β£‰β β „β „β „β „β£€β‘€β žβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘Œβ‘β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘˜β’ β β‘†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒰⠁Ⓒ⠄⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⑇⠄⠸⠄⒃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ‡β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β‘†β „β ˆβ‘†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓒ⠄⠄⑇⠄⠄⒃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β‘‡β „β „β ˜β‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β‘Ÿβ‘„β „β „β’£β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β Έβ „β’°β β ˆβ „β „β Œβ ‘β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Έβ’°β’Œβ‘˜β „β „β ˜β „β šβ’Ώβ‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β Ήβ Έβ „β ‡β „β „β „β ˜β£„β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β „β „β „β ˜β‘„β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘˜β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’°β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ‘†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β †β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’‘β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Όβ£€β£€β£„β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˜β Ώβ Ώβ ·β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ‰β ›β ›β ‰β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „
ascii art
August 2021

Yassuo ditches Trick2g

twitchquotes: Hey, Yassuo! Big fan of the stream, I can't believe you're not playing Yasuo as much anymore...RIP. I guess that's what happens when Yasuo gets gutted, lol. Anyways, I'm trying to learn to play Shaco. I just have a question about the skill build: Should I max Backstab like you backstabbed Trick, Deceive like you deceived Trick, or Hallucinate like you made Trick hallucinate about being able to play at Twitch Rivals with his friends?
twitch chat
November 2019
Yassuo

League of Legends

My name is Van, I'm an artist

twitchquotes: My name is Van, I'm an artist, I'm a performance artist. I'm hired to people to fulfill their fantasies, their deep dark fantasies. I was gonna be a movie star y'know, modeling and acting. After a hundred and two additions and small parts I decided y'know I had enough, Then I got in to Escort world. The client requests contain a lot of fetishes, so I just decided to go y'know... full β™‚Masterβ™‚ and change my entire house into a dungeon... β™‚Dungeonβ™‚Masterβ™‚ now with a full dungeon in my house and It's going really well. Fisting is 300 bucks and usually the guy is pretty much hard on pop to get really relaxed y'know and I have this long latex glove that goes all the way up to my armpit and then I put on a surgical latex glove up to my wrist and just lube it up and it's a long process y'know to get your whole arm up there but it's an intense feeling for the other person I think for myself too, you go in places that even though it's physical with your hand but for some reason it's also more emotional it's more psychological too and we both get you know to the same place it's really strange at the same time and I find sessions like that really exhausting. I don't know I feel kinda naked because I am looking at myself for the first time, well not myself but this aspect of my life for the first time and it's been harsh... three to five years already? I never thought about it... Kinda sad I feel kinda sad right now, I don't know why
twitch chat
August 2019
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