[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
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More Copypastas

Leeroy Jenkins created a strategy

twitchquotes: Leeroy Jenkins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one turn without requiring any cards on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Hearthstone more fun and compelling, but taking 20+ damage in one turn is not particularly fun or interactive.
twitch chat
May 2017

Classic

Hearthstone

I am a degree 6 zoosexual

twitchquotes: I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.
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January 2015

I sexually Identify as

When will C9 play at Worlds?

twitchquotes: Hi guys, I'm a 12 year old from Uganda. I sold my 6 kids just to be able to afford internet to watch C9 play at worlds. When will they play?
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

Trollge / TrollDespair emote

⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⢤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠉⠹⣾⣿⣛⣿⣿⣞⣿⣛⣺⣻⢾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠠⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠿⣷⣿⣿⡿⣿⢿⠟⠟⠟⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄ ⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢛⣿⣁⠄⠄⠒⠂⠄⠄⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⠄⠉⠛⠺⢶⣷⡶⠃⠄⠄⠨⣿⣿⡇⠄⡺⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠟⠇⢀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣏⠉⢿⣽⢿⡏ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣦⠄⢹⡿⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠒⣳⣶⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⡈⣀⢁⢁⢁⣈⣄⢐⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣛⣻⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣬⣽⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣻⣛⣿⡿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
April 2021

Having a son might be more cucked than a daughter

Atleast by having a daughter you can guarantee your bloodline. Plus its a fact that daughters are more biologically inclined to love and respect their fathers. Those whores you see on the internet all suffer from daddy issues aka absent father. A daughter with a present father usually turns out ok. I say its more cucked because biologically mothers are closest to their sons. Now imagine this. You and your wife are older and she thinks you can't satisfy her anymore, then she views pretty much a younger healthier version of you in their son. Now imagine being cucked by your own son, that shit has to be insanely brutal. Atleast wiith your daughter you can get some action, but with your son you cant plus you risk being cucked. Daughters in their younger years always prefer being around their dads. Which is why i say daughter>son. Plus daughters are usually more agreeable with their fathers unlike sons who want to bash heads to show who is the alpha in the household.
June 2021

NSFW

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