[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
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Pornhub's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is the administrator of PornHub™ we have noticed you haven’t logged in for 2 weeks, we’re just checking to see if everything is okay and we’ve prepared you a list of videos from your favourite category (Asian). See you soon!
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

CoolCat

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⡏⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⡷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⠤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣇⢋⠟⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⢧⣤⣀⣀⠀ ⢠⡖⠉⠴⢾⣿⡿⠋⠐⠈⢹⣿⣇⠢⡎⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⣿⣿⡇ ⢸⠁⠀⣃⣀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀ ⠈⡇⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⢰⡀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠚⣠⣔⣶⠀⢀⡘⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⢿⡆⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠐⠲⠶⠒⠋⠁⢾⡎⠻⠉⠡⠾⠋⣀⡈⠙⢒⣒⠠⠤⣤⣖⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⡀⠀⢋⠉⠀⠁⠀⠐⠐⠲⣶⣶⣿⠧⠁⢀⠶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣄ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⣙⢿⣷⣼⣛⠿⡷⠶⢶⣶⡾⢟⡋⢅⠀⠀⠀⢈⣁⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢀⢀⣠⣿⣿⣯⣭⣽⣿⡿⠛⠻⢿⣿⣯⣧⡨⣮⡶⡤⠢⠽⠽⠿⣿⣿⣷⣿ ⠀⠀⡨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⣤⠉⢹⣯⣿⣜⣟⠊⠁⠀⣰⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢼⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⢹⣿⡿⡵⣴⡌⠋⡟⠿⠎⡓⠞⠏⠙⠉⣉⣄⣼⣶
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No one else plays healer, only me

twitchquotes: i am a mercy player, and you should be THANKFUL i managed to bless your game. no one else plays healer, only me, and you DARE complain about the way I play? this entire community is TOXIC and ruins the competitive experience for us mercy players
twitch chat
June 2017

Overwatch

Canadian man brofisting the local Greek population

twitchquotes: Last night in Greece, Greek police heard reports of a Canadian man in a blue tacky sweater walking around the streets at night, 'brofisting' the local population. As a result 20,000 greek citizens have contracted the casualitis. If you see this man, please report to greek policerino department.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Momo 3

⣿⣿⡇⠄⣼⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣰⣿⡿⠟⢻⣿⣿⣷⡀⠸⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠰⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠆⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠄⢿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣼⣿⡟⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠻⣿⣷⣤⣤⣾⣿⡿⠁⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⢸⣦⡙⠛⠿⠟⠛⠉⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡈⠛⠻⠿⠛⢋⣴⡇⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡀⠈⢿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⣿⡋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⡿⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠄⠈⢿⣿⣯⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣽⣿⡟⠄⠄⣮⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣷⣌⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣦⡀⠈⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⠉⢀⣴⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⠟⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠉⠻⢿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠛⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿
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