[Copypasta] I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022
What happened to this ad? :(
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Handsome Shrek

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢩⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡧⣦⠄⢧⡙⢿⣟⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⡈⠂⠄⠸⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠰⢠⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢒⣂⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢛⣻⣿⣿⡟⢁⣠⣴⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢇⡄⣆⣤⣀⣦⡄⢈⣉⣛⣭⡀⠙⠭⡛⠿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣷⡾⣼⣿⠈⠉⠄⠄⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⠿⠄⠈⠛⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣄⣀⡲⢦⣤⣼⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣟⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢡⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠉⠁⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄
March 2021

Shrek

It is physically impossible to simp for pokimane

twitchquotes: Simp means Sucker Idolizing Mediocre Pussy. A man is only a simp if the girl he is after has a mediocre pussy, but pokimane’s pussy is a goddess pussy, at worst. I will continue to donate 50% of my paycheck to pokimane because I know that it’s not simping. Poki if you see this I love you please text me back.
twitch chat
May 2020
Pokimane

Simps

I'll be back when there is real spam

twitchquotes: You call this spam? I've seen better spam in Hafus chat. This is pathetic. I came to this stream expecting to see some real spam. I am dissapointed in the sad excuse for a chat. I'll be back when there is real spam.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Pog googly eyes

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣭⣼⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄ ⠄⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀ ⡆⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⡿⠟⣿⣿⣿⣧⡉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⢛⣿⣮⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣠⣾ ⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠄⢼⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣀⣀⠄⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣇⠈⢿⣿⡟⢁⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠄⠄⠠⣿⡆⠄⠄⠘⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠩⠿⠍⠙⠻⠈⠉⣰⣿⣿⠁⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣷⣶⣷⣦⣼⣻⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣒⣤⣤⣤⣴⣿⡯⡃⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2020

0-10 IN GROUPS, FASTEST INTERNATIONAL B05

twitchquotes: KEKW 0-10 IN GROUPS KEKW FASTEST INTERNATIONAL B05 LOSS TO EU KEKW NEVER WON WORLDS KEKW NEVER WON MSI KEKW IRRELEVANT SINCE S1 KEKW OBSESSED WITH EU KEKW 0 TEAMS OUT OF GROUPS KEKW TSM XD KEKW NA OMEGALUL Clap
twitch chat
April 2020
LCS

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing