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Rania is playing hardstone

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Shill this half baked product to your loyal fanbase

twitchquotes: Kripp's covetous eyes glisten as the Marvel: Future Fight devs hand over a stack of cash. "Make sure you shill this half baked product to your loyal fanbase" they instruct. Kripp licks his salty lips and mutters an agreeable "k"
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

sellout

(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?

Best in the west coming through

twitchquotes: โ™ฟ Make some room โ™ฟ Best in the west coming through โ™ฟ
twitch chat
August 2018

EU vs NA

We are the ฿ทfidgets฿ท

twitchquotes: We are the ฿ทfidgets฿ท ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜‚ my friends ๐Ÿ’ฏโœŒ๏ธโœŒ๏ธ We'll keep on ๐Ÿ•’spinning๐Ÿ•’ to the end ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜ช We are the ฿ทfidgets฿ท We are the the ฿ทfidgets฿ท ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ”ฅ No time for ๐Ÿ‘ฟhaters๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ˜‚ cuz we are the ฿ทfidgets฿ท of the world ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ”ฅ yes, we are the ฿ทfidgets฿ท of the world!๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜
twitch chat
August 2017

Fidget Spinner

YOU DIRTY SELLOUT

twitchquotes: Hi qtpie, my name is Dave, and I work at YOU DIRTY SELLOUT. We at the YOU DIRTY SELLOUT team are huge fans, and we would be willing to come to a large cash agreement if you engage in SELLOUT activities on stream. Look forward to it.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

sellout

I used to be a real ad

Copy Pasta to start a pleb revolution

twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

plebs vs subs

How Melee players describe Ultimate

twitchquotes: Smash community: ultimate is fun! Melee players (not part of smash community) : First time I got ultimate and tried it, after having played Fox-only on Final Destination for years in Melee, I was so disappointed. I couldn't Doowop a Skippity Uppity Airslap into a Wavedashed Cockdump Sparklenut. You aren't even allowed to Spitshine a ledge canceled Dickknob after twirlywhirly dibbidybobbidyboo 2: Electric Boogaloo.
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed, the countless years of oatmeal infighting finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he tells Chat "K"
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

You have been warned!

twitchquotes: Excuse me but how dare you guys do this to me? Last week i wrote a beautiful story here on twitch chat and people just started stealing it and posting it as their own. If this continues i'll be forced to take action. You have been warned!
twitch chat
August 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

which position would you be in a human centipede?

When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however would answer third. Why you ask? When asked "which position would you be in a human centipede?" most would answer "first." I, however, would answer third. Why you ask? When the first member of the centipede is fed, they will eventually defecate forcing the second member to ingest their feces. One could imagine that would be considered incredibly disgusting. As such, the second member would immediately vomit. After vomit travels into the first member's anus and up into their colon, they'll then pust another load into the second member's mouth even more disgusting than the last. The third member would never ingest the feces of the second member as they will always vomit what the first member expels back into them. The third member of the centipede gets to chill while the first and second trade a volley of shitty barf with each other forever.
May 2022
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Moonmoon do it for yourself

twitchquotes: Jesse, listen. We all have trials. We all have difficulties. We all have these moments where we think maybe we can't overcome the obstacle right in front of us. But we know we can. We know better. Victory is within our reach. Success is within your reach. Don't give up. You will become the boshy. Do it for Eddie. Do it for Chat. Do it for Cloud. Most of all, do it for yourself.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl

twitchquotes: in germany we have a beautiful saying if you like a girl "deine mutter lutscht schwรคnze in der hรถlle" it means your smile brightens my day :) Please no copy pasta
twitch chat
July 2017

This guy's veganism is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: โ˜‘ This guy's veganism is CRAZY!โ€ โ˜‘ โ€œMy vegetables can't win against fruits like thatโ€ โ˜‘ "He needed PRECISELY those two cucumbers to win" โ˜‘ โ€œHe bought the only tomato that could beat meโ€ โ˜‘ "He had the perfect eggplants โ˜‘ โ€œThere was nothing I could cookโ€ โ˜‘ โ€œI ate that perfectlyโ€
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

There are too many people that call themselves what they are not

There are too many people that call themselves what they are not, including on this very server. The design industry seems the worst, but I'm sure its the same in other professions. Everyone with 3 months of some Google class, suddenly calls themself an UI/UX Designer, while the craft (especially UX) takes years to develop. I also know a lot of professional designers that have 20+ years of experience, and still don't call themselves experts. Lucky for us, the professional market also sees through those fake designers. So, hone your craft, become better, and stop calling yourselves UI/UX Designers, when you are not. Or Full Stack Developer, when you only do HTML and CSS. Or Open Heart Surgeon, when you are only a masseuse.
July 2022

Complexities behind classical music

twitchquotes: Chat doesnt understand the complexities behind classical music. While most of chat spends their days spamming "Kappas" and such, I study music theory and the works of Bach and Mozart. Musical masterpieces such as these are not easy for the average person to comprehend, and certainly above those that chat.
twitch chat
July 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

I used to be a real ad

Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here!

twitchquotes: Hey everyone, Jeremy of the Marvel Future Fight Team here! PermaSmug We are glad to see chat loves the game. You can download it for free for IOS of Andrioid right now and get 500 gems for free! Want to play more? No problem! Just use this ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ’ณ and you may continue!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

New banger (from r/conservativerap)

Aye ๐Ÿ˜‚ Yuh ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘€ Uh ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜ค Skrrrt ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿค” I ๐Ÿ‘ hate ๐Ÿ˜ก people ๐Ÿ‘ซ who have a different ๐Ÿ˜ก skin ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‘ color ๐ŸŽจ from me (x32) instrumental ๐ŸŽบ break ๐Ÿ’” I ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘€ hate ๐Ÿ˜ก๐ŸŒš people ๐Ÿ‘ซ who have a different ๐Ÿ‘€โ“โ‰ skin ๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‘ color ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ from me (x32)
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

Hey Kripp, it's me Tom from VeganHub Enterprises

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, it's me Tom from VeganHub Enterprises. I am sorry to say that your "VeganHub account" has expired and will need to be renewed. We suggest you try our "VeganHub Premium account" subscription. You can watch videos in 1080p ,60 fps, costs $12.99 and lasts you a year. You will also get exclusive access to videos such as, "Young Cob gets plowed", and , "Two lettuces, 1 knife". Since you are a loyal customer you will get a 10% discount this time.
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS

twitchquotes: ใƒพ(โ›ฮตโ›โ€œ)สƒ SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE SHRIEKING SKULLS WILL SHOCK YOUR SOUL SEAL YOUR DOOM TONIGHT ใƒพ(โ›ฮตโ›โ€œ)สƒ
twitch chat
September 2014
imaqtpie
I used to be a real ad

Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt

twitchquotes: Mr. Kripp, I would like to personally thank you for saving my life. I lead a stressful life and have dangerously high blood sugar. Your stream has provided a constant influx of salt which has balanced my blood sugar levels, and according to the doctor I'm gonna do just fine now. Please remember that every time you get flamestriked, your saltiness cures another middle-aged man like myself of diabetes.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing