[Copypasta] Ok, so I basically fucked my bedroom door.

Ok, if you didn’t know this I should probably tell you. I am uncircumcised, and with me still having my foreskin it feels better to yank my hog. So I have a little routine of jacking off everyday around 11 pm at night. It was around 9:45 pm when I was feeling a little Horny. I was on Nikocado Avocado’s OnlyFans and I must say, it got the better of me. So I just started tugging my meat sword before my usual routine. There’s nothing wrong with that, a premature coom session, it’s all good. So I was jelking my prize hog when all of a we sudden I noticed that my door was still open. I knew that since I started masturbaiting earlier then usual that my family would still be awake. So I get up from my bed and walk to my door still jerking off and I get to my door. I’m just about to close the door when all of a sudden my prankster of a step sister slams my bedroom door shut. And that’s when a sudden sharp pain hits me and I look down and see that my foreskin has gotten caught in the door as it slammed. Holy shit it fucking hurt, my fucking d**k felt like it was gonna fall off. Then when I think shit can’t get worse. My step sister started banging on my door demanding that she come inside my room. The banging was making it worse. I shouted “GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” but she didn’t listen. She kept banging on the door and that’s when my pain grew into pleasure. It was basically like my foreskin was being rubbed by the doors banging. “Oh shit, that feels really good” I thought. It was like I was fucking my door, it was the best feeling of my life. I wanted to scream and moan In pleasure, but my sister was on the other end of the door. Then right when I was about to bust my sister said “ Fine, I’m just gonna come in anyway”. She opened the door, but It was too late. I busted a fat nut all over her face. She started screaming and she ran away to the bathroom. God, I felt so embarrassed. Despite that, fucking that door was amazing. 10/10 would recommend.
January 2021
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I'm just a poor pasta maker

twitchquotes: I'm just a poor pasta maker struggling to make a living in this world. I may not be as fast as those big pasta factories with their fancy machines, but I am committed to providing you a quality pasta experience. I use only the freshest and dankest artisanal memes, and I can assure you that when you RIP in spaghetti, you'll never forgetti.
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January 2017

Response to Navy Seal Copypasta

Did you just think that you could fucking fool me with that comment of yours? I've searched your name up in the Navy SEAL database and you have never even graduated BUD/S, hell, even served in the Armed Forces. If you were actually a Navy SEAL, then you actually know how to spell guerrilla, you fucking moron. And you say you are the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces and have over 300 confirmed kills. If that were true, then why the fuck is Chris Kyle a household name and you aren't? And plus he only had 160 kills. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. Plus why the fuck would you say you have a secret network of spies yet you just revealed that you had your secret network of spies? Are you a fucking idiot? If you can kill someone seven-hundred different ways, then list them all, I bet you can't even come up with seven. And if you had access to the entire US Marine Corps arsenal, then why the fuck did you just say you were in the Navy SEALs earlier? If only you could have done your research prior to posting your little “clever” comment, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you goddamn idiot.
March 2021

Navy Seal

yo

twitchquotes: To ̼̜͈͔̰i̲͓̬̜͓̳ͅn̪̹v̨͚̜̪̠͉̝͉o͕̤̘̻̮̘̭k̦̦̖̠̪e͇͎̙̖ͅ ̭̗͚̠t̻̥h̻͜e̲̩̣̩ ̖̹h̯̟i͕v͏̼͙͖̮͍̞e̺͙͉̦͡-͏̥̻m̷̤i͓n̻̱͍̼̼d͖̜̝̰̳̱͇͟ ̠͍̳ṛ̷e̱͎̟pr̬ḙ̗̫̖͖̜͓̀s̵̗̲͉̭̤en̥̣͟t̨̬͔̣̼̹̘i̶̼͚̻̻n̬g̱̗̩̯̭̬͘ ̻̻̮̪̬ͅc͞h̯̼͇̥ao̫̳̭̲̹̲͟s.̙͓̲͍͉͞ͅ ͖͎̳͕Ìṋ̲̻̞̫̠̫v̛̯͍̞̘̼̮ͅo̬k̻̺͚̲͖ͅi̢n̵͇͖̼g ͓̺͈̬̞͖͉t̰͕̟̭̱̩ḩ̠̪͕͙͓̘̝e̱͖͔͙͝ͅ ̫̲̤͢f̸̻̣̰͔̳̪͚e̯ẹ̤̣̫l̤̀i̢̲̩n҉̲̹g̵̜̺̙͈͔̦̼ ̼̘͙̹͍̟̻͝o̢̟̺̹̮f͜ ͖͕͟c̸̠̤h̠̙͇͉a̳͍̕oș̡.̦͈̱̱̝̣ ͇̗͖̩̣̣͝W̨͎̱̬̞͓̼ḭ͎̖t̳̜̩͕̬͕h ̞̺͇̤̫̤͜o͓͓̮̤u̞̗̰̮̘t̼́ ̖̺̳̩̦̝ͅo͕̝r͔͓̗d͇̩̙͟ḙ̻̫̭̯̣r̸͉̯̠̯̥̺.̺̼͚̳̘͈͈ ̮̳͉̖͟Ț̛̠̙͍̻͚͖h͟e͈̪̙̗̰̖ ̛̠̹̜̲̞͖ͅN͔̪̼̬̗͉͟e̫͔̼͉̹z̬̠p̯͈̰̯̫͡è̪͖͉͓̼͇r̻͝d̲i͓̻̳̼̘͜a̧͈̲n͉̮̻͈̯͘ ͚̼̝h̯̰̞̥͉͈i̷͓̖͓̟ͅv̷̭͎̳̰e͇͔͍̩̭-̠̟̣̺̱̣̹m͍̬̳͚̙i̝̭n̪͖̳d̻͟ ̞̠͔̹o̢̖̺͈͓͖͎f̭̬̥͍̳̜ ̣̣̪̻̹̥̙c͢h̶a̛̼̙̞̜̮͓o͓̣͕͙̫̩͢ͅs͙.͎̱̹̳͍̫͚͢ ҉͓͕̱̟͓Z͔͈͓̙̮̮̭̀àl̞̥͎̜g̝o.̻͉͚͢ ͕̦͖̹͙̙͓H̘͇̖e͝ ̰̹̭͡wh̺̺͔͙o͕̖̱͕̖̞͉ ̦W̺a̖̱̙̙̬̺̘i̘̻̮̲t͙s̵͈ ̟̕B̛̯e͔͘hi̺ͅn͕͚̣̟̼͘d ̟͠T̵̞h̘̭̝̭̺̀ẹ̸͇ ̘̖̖̟̪̼̞̀W̧͙̱̠a̫ll.̱̥̣͙̤̮ͅ ̩͙͍̝͔Z͏̲̝̜̹̹̱A̴͕̲̥̟͖͈̭Ḷ͞G͇͙̣̞O̸̖͍͕!̛̻
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July 2014
Kaceytron

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April 2021
xQcOW

Spending New years eve on twitch BibleeThump

twitchquotes: No job ✔ BibleThump Mom's house ✔ BibleThump No talents ✔ BibleThump No gf ✔ BibleThump No friends ✔ BibleThump No midnight kiss ✔ BibleThump Spending New years eve on twitch ✔ BibleThump Must be us BibleThump
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January 2017
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