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My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
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You have been gifted FREE COCK
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I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday
Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
Dear women who post nudes on reddit.
Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.."
It's tits. It's always fucking tits.
This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something?
"I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants."
I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
I want to play control warrior but I'm missing...
twitchquotes:
Hey Forsen, I want to play control warrior but I'm missing: Grommash, Alexstrasza, Harrison, Sylvanas, Baron Geddon, Shield Slam, Brawl, Naxx, and the Hearthstone game. Can you suggest replacements?
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Forsen
Hearthstone
Every game is equally pointless
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Every game is equally pointless. You can't put this *** on a resume or anything, so what does it matter if you play online chess or LoL? Unless you're a professional and making mad cash off the game, it doesn't matter what you play.
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Kripp