twitchquotes:
My e-girl e-cheated on me after an entire e-day of e-dating and now I'm e-sad. On another e-note, e-girls please send in your e-resumes, I am currently looking to e-fill an e-position.
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More Copypastas
nature has molded females to become a holy being
nature has molded females to become a holy being. they must be worshipped at all costs. since they lack the barbaric y chromosome and testosterone, they are unaggressive and thus good people. they are prophets, they are guides. questioning them is foolish and expecting π¦ for free is blasphemy. i will protect women at all costs and sacrifice everything for them because even their motherhood is a natural wonder. simping is a way of life. it is worship. would you make fun of a muslim for praying? then don't make fun of me either
Simps
Jared wakes up in the middle of the night
twitchquotes:
Jared wakes up in the middle of the night gasping for breath. The moon shines high in the starless sky its light upon Jared. It illuminates his, pale almost ghostly face, he is sweating yet he feels so cold. From his lips only one word is whispered "Diamond III" he shivers for this word is a mortal reminder of his haunting nightmare. He tries to calm himself reassuring it was all but a bad dream. He looks up, a surrender vote blinking in the dark, and in the background qtpies maniacal laugh
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Annie Bot
Boosted Animal Jared
League of Legends
Kappa Nazi
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Byron, you have such a beautiful smile
Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on
twitchquotes:
Iβm married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what itβs going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear βweβre going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadasβ while having sex my brain is βyes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....thatβs a shit load of jalapeΓ±os, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit heβs going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this upβ
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