[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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You are currently in a 25 year coma

twitchquotes: If you are reading this message, Jesse, you are currently in a 25 year coma. We've been trying to communicate with you for the longest time by manipulating your brain waves, but nothing so far has worked. If you manage to read this it means our new method has succeeded. Please, wake up Jesse. Your family loves you and wants you back. In a week they are going to pull the plug on your life support, they can't afford the medical bills anymore.
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August 2017
Sneaky

I'm Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends

twitchquotes: Hi it's Johnny Pasterino from the Department of Legends, we would like to promote Michael Santana from Meme Secretary at the League of Legends to Meme Lord at our Department of Legends. Thank you for your time
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Ultra Variety Pack bag of Dongers

twitchquotes: ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ Sorry, I dropped my Ultra Variety Pack™ bag of Dongers. ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ༼ ºل͟º ༽ ୧༼ ͡◉ل͜ ͡◉༽୨ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง ヽ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽ノ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ─=≡Σ((( つ◕ل͜◕)つ (ง •̀_•́)ง┌(° ͜ʖ͡°)┘(ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)งᕙ༼◕ل͜◕༽ᕗ
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

LULW crying

⠙⠋⠉⠉⠉⠈⠉⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⠀⠹⣿ ⣷⠿⠛⠋⠉⠛⠛⠋⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠁⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⣷⣶⣿ ⣧⡤⠄⠀⣀⣀⣤⣬⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⠛⠲⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣋⣴⡶⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢰⣦⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣷⠀⠙⣿⣿ ⡟⠋⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠙⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠉⠛⠁⠀⠀⣸⣿ ⣧⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣍⡉⠿⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣬⣭⣭⣥⣤⣩⣍⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⠛⠋⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⠛⢿⠿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣸
November 2020

You need a high IQ to understand Rick and Morty

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
September 2017

Rick and Morty

Classic

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