[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
Actual ad on YouTube: https://www.reddit.com/r/shittymobilegameads/comments/kmbcla/ive_literally_seen_this_ad_on_porn_videos
I used to be a real ad
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Not funny I didn't laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
September 2019

Classic

Hey guys Papparian here!

twitchquotes: Hey guys Papparian here! I wanted to check in and make sure my Little Kripp baby is acting like a nice little boy. He has been known to cry from time to time about RNG so please make sure you spam BabyRage NEVER LUCKY BabyRage when he loses RNG, to keep his little baby butt in check. Thanks, no copy pasterino.
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

salty

neverlucky

There is a bunch of Twitch overlords

twitchquotes: There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. deIlluminati
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Jerma is a character loosely inspired by Peter Griffin

Jerma985, or also known as Jeremy Elbertson, is a character loosely inspired by a character named Peter Griffin from Family Guy, an American animated sitcom created by Seth MacFarlane. Both characters are from Boston and shares the same characteristics through the show.[8] Jerma's dog, Otto, is also a reference to Brian Griffin as both characters have a pet dog. Throughout the airings of the show, this homage to Family Guy has become a running gag as the character Chat often says a memorable quote, "That's a Family Guy joke.".[9][10]
March 2022
Jerma985

Yoshi with Mario's body

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
ascii art
September 2018
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