[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Pepe with wine

โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ โฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฆโก โฃดโฃถโฃถโฃถโฃฆโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โ „โ „โฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃซโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃฅโขนโฃŸโฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โฃƒโฃ€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โ „โฃ โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขฏโก“โขปโ ฟโ ฟโ ทโกœโฃฏโ ญโขฝโ ฟโ ฏโ ฝโฃ€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โฃผโฃฟโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฅโฃโ ‚โ โ ˆโขธโ ฟโข†โ ฑโ ฏโ „โ ˆโ ธโฃ›โก’โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃถโฃญโกญโขŸโฃฒโฃถโกฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ‹โ „โ „โฃดโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโ ถโขถโก€ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขŸโฃ›โ ฟโขฟโฃทโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโก„โ „โขฐโ ‡โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ˆโฃง โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโกนโฃญโฃ›โ ณโ ถโ ฌโ ญโขญโฃโฃ›โฃ›โฃ›โฃซโฃญโกฅโ „โ ธโก„โฃถโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโข‡โกŸ โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโฃญโฃ›โฃ›โก›โ ณโ ถโ ถโ ถโฃถโฃถโฃถโ ถโ „โ „โ „โ ™โ ฎโฃฝโฃ›โฃซโกตโ Šโ  โฃโกฒโ ฎโฃโฃ™โฃ›โฃ›โกปโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ –โ ‚โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃธโ „โ „โ „โ „ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃฆโฃฌโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃโฃญโฃญโฃญโฃดโฃทโฃฆโก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ  โ คโ ฟโ ฆโ คโ „โ „
July 2020

Pepe

Troll face kid

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
March 2021

PETA must be alerted

twitchquotes: Last night at Greece's most prominent Red Light District, Kripp was seen pimping out Catarrian for very cheap. PETA must be alerted of this horrid cat prostitution ring hidden under this "Twitch streaming"
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying

Watashi wa a victim of cyberbullying. Everyday someone online calls me a "weeb" desu. Watashi won't stand for this. 26 percent of bullying victims are chosen due to their race or religion desu. I may look like a basic white boy, but deep down I am Nihongo desu. Watashi religion is anime. Anata wa bullying me because of my race and religion desu ka? Disgusting desu. Anata should be ashamed of yourself, racist pig. A baka gaijin like anata is probably jealous of my race and culture, cause Nippon is more sugoi than your shitty country desu. Watashi pity anata. You'll never be Nihongo like watashi. I'm a weeb? Pfft. I AM AN OTAKU DESU. Educate yourself on nani a "weeb" is before anata try to insult watashi desu. I WILL NOT BE CYBERBULLIED ANYMORE. REPORTED.
December 2018

Weebs

Classic

Kripp finally picks Pogo

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Kripparian, thank you so much for finally picking Pogo! Ever since you picked Pogo, his grades have gone up, he finally got a girlfriend, and he's stopped masturbating all day in his bedroom. I was certain my little Pogo was going to end up a lifeless virgin loser for his entire life, but your kind actions have put Pogo on a path for success. Thank you, thank you, you have my sincerest gratitude. Much love, Pogo's mom.
twitch chat
June 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing