[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Applejack

▓▓▓▓▓░▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓░▐▌░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▒░░▌░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓ ▓▓▒▒░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓ ▓▓▒░░░░░░▀▀███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▓▓▒░░░░░▌▄████▌░░▒▒▒▒▓ ▓▓▒▒░░░░███▄█▌░░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▒▒▒░░.’.░▀▀▀▀░░░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▐▄░░▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
November 2014

I'm currently crushing on someone in Highschool

twitchquotes: Hey, everyone. I'm currently crushing on someone in Highschool and we are both freshman. So the thing is I'm kinda shy when asking out people and my courage rn is like Bronze level of weak. I want to ask her out on a date or just see how she really feels about me. Another difficult thing too is that I'm a C9 fan and she is a TSM fan . Do you guys have any advice for me???
twitch chat
March 2018
Riot Games

League of Legends

Monster Amogus Crewmate With Tongue

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠛⠛⠶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⢿⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽⡗⠲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠴⠯⠭⣉⠙⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠟⠉⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⡇⡘⠓⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢯⣀⠀⠀⣈⠆⢹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⡾⠋⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡞⢠⣿⣢⣌⣳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠏⠉⡉⠁⠀⣸⢹⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⢁⡇⢸⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣧⠤⠒⡎⢀⣠⠴⠯⣞⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⡎⣰⣇⠀⠙⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠓⠒⠦⣄⠙⠳⣄⠀⠀ ⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣶⣶⣶⠿⠋⠀⢠⠀⡿⠛⣛⣿⠿⣿⡖⠒⠒⠲⠦⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠑⠀⠘⢦⠀ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⢃⡜⠙⠾⡋⠀⠀⠘⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠒⠶⣦⣿⣿⣾⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣟⡆⠀⠘⣧ ⠀⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⢸⡶⢦⣴⠿⠆⠶⣿⡛⢿⡖⠦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠧⠄⣀⣀⠀⣀⣼⡟⠁⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠈⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⢠⠟⠦⡀⠙⠳⠤⣀⠈⠛⠾⣷⡀⢧⡜⠛⢷⢦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢹⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⣼⣷⣶⡿⣶⠀⠀⢀⣷⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⠾⣏⠛⠻⣶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⡿ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠉⠛⠶⢤⣄⣀⢀⡇⣼⣋⠭⣿⢃⠙⡟⢉⣿⠀⢳⡀⢰⣿⠉⢿⠇⠀⣰⠙⣆⠀⠘⣮⠉⠛⠻⠶⢶⣶⣶⣾⠿⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣦⣄⠀⠀⣀⢀⠝⢙⣧⣌⡉⠛⠛⠿⠴⠿⠿⠷⠆⣀⣷⣼⣇⣆⡈⣧⣴⣿⣃⣘⣆⠀⢸⠀⣠⠖⠊⠉⢱⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⠷⠋⢠⠞⣿⠁⠙⢦⡼⠛⠉⠑⠒⣶⢰⡖⠲⠴⠠⠔⠫⢭⡄⠀⣠⣠⡌⣷⢸⡀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠻⠼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣶⣮⡥⠔⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⢀⡇⠀⠻⣿⢸⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣧⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠁⠀⠀⢻⢸⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣦⣀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠘⠦⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠉⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣼⠇⠀⠘⣧⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Professional Penguin Wrestling Champion

twitchquotes: hello. i am 18 years old and i am a profesonal penguin wrestling champion. i have won all matches with penguins but now i need money to go to the north pole so i can wrestle with the penguin king so please donate to me. please dont copy and paste my life story
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

I fucking hate gaming laptops

I fucking hate gaming laptops. Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
January 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing