[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Giant tropical Kripparians

twitchquotes: Giant tropical Kripparians share their territories with Hearthstone players. Despite never getting to legendary, he's a nimble player. As quick as lightning, just like the player he's killing, the Kripparian has two curved hollow fangs which inject paralyzing salt. Even pros aren't immune from an ambush. This Kripparian is an arena player.
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Yes Chad (Nordic Gamer)

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June 2021

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter?

Holy shit! You identify as an attack helicopter? I’ve never heard that joke before, but it’s so genius! You sir, or madame, or helicopter, are the absolute most hilarious and original person I have ever seen in my entire life. Move over, Jerry Seinfeld. Get lost, Brian Regan. Out of the way, Family Guy Funny Moments Compilation #53. There’s a new funniest man in town. Holy shit, I just can’t get over this joke. I’m giggling and guffawing harder than ever before. You should win an Oscar and an Emmy and a Grammy and a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award. Attack helicopter gender! Wow! So funny! Take that, liberals! Haha. Every night since I was born I have looked up to the plastic glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling and wondered, “I hope one day I can be as funny as the attack helicopter gender guy.” I will tell my children, and my children’s children, all about the absolute hilarity that went down just now. You just broke the Guinness World Record for funniest and most original jokester on the planet. I’m fucking simultaneously shitting and cumming because this joke is just so funny. Holy shit. That was an amazing joke, my guy. I’m gonna make a subreddit dedicated entirely to this one joke. It’s gonna get thousands of members! History books will forever remember the time you said, “I identify as an attack helicopter.” It’ll go right there in the important quote book, right between Patrick Henry and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. I just can’t believe I was here to witness such grandeur. I was here! I think I’m going to make a whole religion based on worshipping you, my glorious and hilarious attack helicopter God. This is just so funny I can’t believe it! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I think I’m going to go to the hospital and fucking die from laughing to hard, but that’s okay! This is even funnier than that guy who said he identified as a toaster! Can you believe it? I never thought that very different joke could be topped, but here we are! Did I mention how funny and original that joke was? Ah, well done, sir, or madame, or helicopter. This is an experience I won’t forget any time soon. Ha. Haha. Ha. Lol. Lmao. Haha. Jajaja. Lmfao. Rofl, rotfl, ha.
June 2021

Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— imGlitch Twitch gives 100 bits for coronavirus awareness Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands ————————————————————————
twitch chat
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Jacked Impostor

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠯⠀⡖⠒⠒⠠⠤⣄⡀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⣶⡆⣶⣶⣿⡏⣦⢁⣄⢿⣿⢰⣶⣶⡌⣿⡏⢰⣶⣦⡄⢠⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⢳⣦⣽⣿⢱⣶⣶⡌⣿⡇⢰⣶⣶⠈⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⠸⠿⠿⢃⣿⡇⢸⣿⣇⠂⠈⠑⠒⠦⠤⣀⡀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⡇⠈⢩⣭⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣛⣃⣛⠛⣿⣅⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⣛⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢀⣶⣸⣿⣿⣿⣜⣛⣛⣡⣿⣇⣸⣷⣍⡻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠁⠱⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣻⠟⢁⡇⠂⠀⠀⢻⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⣠⢧⠀⢐⡀⠀⡿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⣟⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢉⡍⠀⠈⣽⣿⣿⣿⠒⠛⠉⠀⢳⢼⡇⠀⣇⣈⡍⢉⣄⢼⣥⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⠿⠿⠒⠋⠁⠀⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⡛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣨⣤⣄⡠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⠉⠛⠃⠀⠀⠙⡀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⡟⣀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⢽⠃⠀⠓⠄⣰⣿⡍⢿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣝⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⢼⠀⡄⠀⢀⣿⠿⡃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⣀⣴⠳⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠛⠻⡻⣄⠀⢸⡉⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣇⢸⡆⠇⠀⡞⠁⡕⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠈⣶⠉⠛⠛⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠘⢜⡢⠀⠛⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠸⠇⠀⡄⠀⠘⠅⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⠿⣿⣄⣠⣤⡄⠀⠐⠛⠛⣿⣟⠓⠀⠀⡀⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡱⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠙⣄⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡻⠀⠀⢹⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡟⢡⢿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⡀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣶⣤⣤⡙⢿⣧⠐⠦⣬⣄⣀⡀⠠⠶⠒⠛⣿⠟⠁⠀⠰⢦⣿⠗⠃⣰⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡤⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⡿⢿⣿⣿⡌⠏⣷⣤⣨⣿⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⣾⠃⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⣠⣼⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣞⠐⠈⠻⣿⣿⣤⣀⠤⠤⠤⢿⠿⠆⠠⠶⢶⣿⡟⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣿⣯⠿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣯⣯⡀⠀⠸⣿⡍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⡿⣿ ⣿⣧⣿⡿⡇⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⣷⡀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠄⠀⠀⣼⠟⠘⢰⣿ ⣿⣿⣾⣷⠀⠀⠀⠱⣄⡈⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣦⡈⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⣼⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢐⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠹⡇⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠈⣷⢻⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡟⠀⡏⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢸⡼⠁⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣻⣷⣀⣀⣀⣃⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣃⣴⣎⣀⣙⣄⣻⣿⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣰⠄⣺⣁⣸⣇⣀⣰⣶⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣇⣀⣀⣰⣿⣿⣿
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing