[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

AMOGUS (youtube video) v3

⠀⠀⠀⠀- ⣠⠤⠖⠚⠛⠉⠛⠒⠒⠦⢤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠠⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⠇⠀⠀⠀⢀⡄⠤⢤⣤⣤⡀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣹⡄ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣙⣒⠚⠛⠋⠁⡈⠓⠴⢿⡿⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠒⠤⢀⠛⠻⠿⠿⣖⣒⣁⠤⠒⠋ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠼⠀⠈⣻⠋⠉⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⡴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠐⢦ ⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⡴⠋⠉⠀⢄⣀⠤⢴⠄⠀⡇ ⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠹⠶⢀⡔⠉⠀⠀⣼⠀⠀⡇ ⠀⣼⠁⠀⠙⠦⣄⡀⣀⡤⠶⣉⣁⣀⠘ ⢀⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣽ ⢸⠇⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠦⢤⡄⠀⠀⡟ ⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⣇⣀⣀ ⢸⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⢦⡀⢰⣇⡀⠀⠉⠀⠀⣉⠇ ⠈⠓⠒⠒⠀⠐⠚⠃⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁
December 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut

I finally did it. I out pizza'd the Hut. It was the greatest mistake of my life. After years of perfecting my recipe, I made my way down to the local hut, fresh-baked pizza pie in hand. "Try this," I told the kid working the counter. He did, and he had to agree that it was better than anything Pizza Hut had to offer. Soon, the entire store, customers included, was feasting on my delicious pie. The manager walked over, grabbed a slice, and took a bite. I look at him, anticipation rising. This was the boss, the local fief lord of the Hut. His approval meant more to me than all the rest combined. He took a bite and nodded. "I'll be damned," he said, "you really did it. You out- pizza'd the Hut. Shame." Shame? What did he mean by tha-- the manager pulled a gun out from behind his apron and shot the nearest customer in the head. "We have a Code Jalapeño," he said into his wrist as he executed the remaining customers. "I repeat, we have a Code Jalapeño." The ground was slick with blood. The kid working the counter choked out his dying breath as the manager turned to me. "You just had to do it motherfucker. You just had to out pizza the Hut." He shoved the gun in my face. I was too scared to fight, too scared to run. The manager pulled the trigger. A click. The gun was empty. I threw a chair at the manager and scrambled out of the Pizza Hut, not even bothering to see if my missile hit its mark. I was closely pursued by the manager, who had gotten his hands on a deadly sharp pizza cutter. I suspected in his hands it would cut more than pizza. Somehow, I was able to get into my car and speed off, the manager cursing my existence as I left him behind. I took a deep breath. The manager was clearly psychotic. Yes, that was it, just a crazy man with a gun. It had to be. My phone rang. Sister. I picked it. "They're dead, she sobbed. They're all dead. Mom, Dad, Chris, Bill. Dead. They killed them all." I could barely understand her, so great were her sobs. "What do you mean? Where are you?" I asked urgently. "How is this possi--" A single gunshot sounded through my phone's speakers. Silence. Then, I heard a man's voice. "No one out pizzas the Hut." He hung up. I drove down the empty country road, mind blank. I had nothing. They killed my family. I was alone. At that moment I knew what I had to do. They took everything from me. Well then, I would take everything from them. Pizza Hut was so terrified of being out pizza'd, they forgot there's one thing worse than a man with a recipe: A man with nothing to lose. I'll give them a limited time offer they won't be able to refuse: two bullets for the price of one. With a free side order of pain.
July 2021

Gold Cards should have a slight buff

twitchquotes: I feel like Gold Cards should have a slight buff, like +1 attack or -1 mana or something... not that big of a change, just so it’d make Gold Cards worth it..
twitch chat
September 2018

Hearthstone

you can't spell "advertisements"

you can't spell "advertisements" without semen between tits
March 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing