[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

I sexually idenfity as the Boogeymonster

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as The Boogeymonster. Ever since I pre-ordered 50 packs the only card I dreamed of pulling was The Boogeymonster to put it in my deck, play it on turn 8, and watch it grow. Watch it get out of control as it feasts on every puny creature my horrified opponent dares to lay on the board. I can already hear The Boogeymonster's attack sound as it swings in for a 30 damage lethal. If you can't accept this you're a boogeyphobe and you need to check your legendary privilege.
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Allu is a tactical genius

twitchquotes: Allu is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic ”going B, but then benching AleksiB”. He also has a second little known tactic of ”going A, but then going home without any wins”. What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL 4 sure.
twitch chat
October 2020

CSGO

if u finish reading this monkaW

twitchquotes: Hey Byron, I noticed you like to run comps around Aurelion Sol and I went ahead and did the math on a level 3 Aurelion Sol with Spear of Shojin and Zeke's buff and it turns out that if you finish reading this everyone in chat will be dead in the next 5 minutes monkaW
twitch chat
July 2019
Reckful

Teamfight Tactics

I microwaved my jizz again.

Help me gumpy I fucked up. I was jerking off to my Sylveon plushie and decided to put it in the microwave but I left it in too long and burned the jizz and the plushie. Now the whole house fucking stinks and when my parents come home tomorrow from vacation they are going to know I microwaved my jizz again. Last time this happened I had to go to counseling and I gained like 50 lbs. I really don't want to go back on medicine. How the fuck do I get rid of the smell it is in the carpets and sofa. It smells like burned hair and plastic.
June 2021

Team Solo Mid

β–’β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–„β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–’β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
January 2015

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing