This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat
twitchquotes:
This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat (Kripp specifically). This chat is pure, unadulterated, 100% stupidity. Nobody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that aren't even good. THIS is why I'm turning off chat and will just watch the professional gameplay. And I swear to god, if any of you copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
I hate Twitch Chat
I like spamming copypastas
twitchquotes:
I like spamming copypastas. It's my favorite activity. When they're dank, I think to myself "yes". When they're removed, I think to myself "no".
twitch chat
I used to work at an abortion clinic
I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed:
• A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight
• A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor
• They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name)
• One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns
• The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man
• The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life"
• The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos
• The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy)
• During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
NSFW
I think about Kripp when I touch my wiener
twitchquotes:
ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ Roses are red, Weed is greener, I think about Kripp, when I touch my wiener. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ﾉ
twitch chat
Kripp
Stop posting ResidentSleeper face
twitchquotes:
Guys stop posting 
face. Not many know, but that guy actually died while streaming Resident Evil. People just assumed that was sleeping, but he died of dehydration. Please respect the dead and stop posting this morbid image
face. Not many know, but that guy actually died while streaming Resident Evil. People just assumed that was sleeping, but he died of dehydration. Please respect the dead and stop posting this morbid image
twitch chat
Forsen