[Copypasta] Magic Sex Gun YouTube ad script

This is my magic sex gun. All I do is point it at a woman I want to fuck, and BANG! She's all over me. How does it work? Go to MagicSexGun.com. You can have your own! And it's not buying hookers, not using personal sites, and definitely not spanking it to p**n... so go to MagicSexGun.com before we take the site down. This magic sex gun works especially well on younger women. Point your magic sex gun at your innocent-looking young coworker and bam! She's sucking your d**k below the desk. Point it at the cute young French woman bagging your groceries and bam! She's letting you rail her behind the dumpster. And of course... point it at any girl on a dating app site, and well... you'll feel like you have a sex machine gun with all the women you're mowing down. This is only if you go to MagicSexGun.com. Get it right now: MagicSexGun.com. There's only so many magic sex guns available, so you want to get in while the getting is good. MAGICSEXGUN.COM!
January 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

3Head

⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⠈⠹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠈⠉⠉⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠄⠄⠘⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡁⣤⠄⠐⠒⠒⠄⠄⣤⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠘⠛⠛⣿ ⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠹⠟⠉⠉⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⢰⣶⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⢻⠟⠁⢠⠃⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⠛⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣄⡀⢸⣇⣼⠉⠄⠙⠋⠉⠻⠿⣿⣛⠛⠛⢿⣧⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠘⢿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡈⠉⠄⣠⣾⣿⡿⠁⠄⢀⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡄⠈⠹⣿⣶⣶⣤⣌⣭⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
February 2019

Kripp defending Blizzard on Diablo Immortal

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, video game journalist and decent human being here. Looking to get your thoughts on the disgusting response of entitled gamers to the Diablo Immortal reveal. On a scale from Hitler (least evil) to Straight White Male PC Gamer (most evil), how would you characterize those who criticize Blizzard? Hope to hear you are as unbiased as I am, thanks!
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

My husband of 5 years bought me Reddit Gold for my anniversary

My 5-Year anniversary with my husband was last week. The traditional gift for 5 years is silverware. I wanted a new set and told my husband which he could get me as a gift. I knew he wanted an Apple Watch and bought that as my gift to him. On the day of our anniversary, I logged onto Reddit to find dozens of my posts and comments guilded. I found it odd as I don’t post terribly often and the guilded comments were old. It’s also the first time I’ve received Reddit gold. When the time came to exchange gifts, he gleefully opened his Apple Watch and begin setting it up. I figured I’m all the excitement he forgot to give me my gift so I gently prodded him. He told me to check Reddit. Ladies and Gentlemen, my husband GUILDED me 24 times as an anniversary gift. He’s a bit of a jokester, so I figured my real gift was coming. But Reddit, it’s been a week. Do I say something? Buy the silverware myself? Some combination of the two? I feel if I don’t say something then the cycle will repeat itself.
September 2021

Reddit

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Only the saltiest one can hold both salts

twitchquotes: PJSalt ___ PJSalt only the saltiest one can hold both salt cans ⎝ Kappa
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing