[Copypasta] Travis Scott Burger

I have a theory about the Travis Scott burger. I think it’s a sham. It’s all a multi million dollar misinformation campaign. McDonalds has been hurting for a new supply of beef due to the Covid 19 pandemic. With all of the meat processing plant closures, they had to look elsewhere to get their precious beef for the ever so hungry American. They needed a new supplier. This has to be nobody other than Travis Scott. You see, since marrying Kylie Jenner, he had access to all of her cosmetic company’s animal testing plants. It was easy for Travis to get ahold of meat... it was too easy. Travis knew McDonalds was desperate for new meat, so he struck while the iron was hot. Through a swift negotiation, he had the multi billion dollars corporation by the balls, the sweet sweet balls. Travis agreed to supply them with the meat, only he lead them to believe it was coming from cows when in reality he was harvesting the animals from the animal cosmetic testing lab. In exchange, he got his name on the McDonalds menu. All for what? Now you may be wondering how I came across this info. And you may be wondering who sent you this information. It was Cactus Jack. Cactus Jack sent this info.
October 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Response to Navy Seal Copypasta

Did you just think that you could fucking fool me with that comment of yours? I've searched your name up in the Navy SEAL database and you have never even graduated BUD/S, hell, even served in the Armed Forces. If you were actually a Navy SEAL, then you actually know how to spell guerrilla, you fucking moron. And you say you are the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces and have over 300 confirmed kills. If that were true, then why the fuck is Chris Kyle a household name and you aren't? And plus he only had 160 kills. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. Plus why the fuck would you say you have a secret network of spies yet you just revealed that you had your secret network of spies? Are you a fucking idiot? If you can kill someone seven-hundred different ways, then list them all, I bet you can't even come up with seven. And if you had access to the entire US Marine Corps arsenal, then why the fuck did you just say you were in the Navy SEALs earlier? If only you could have done your research prior to posting your little “clever” comment, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you goddamn idiot.
March 2021

Navy Seal

DO A BACKFLIP

97%, of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber standing on top of a building about to jump. "If you are the 3% sitting there with popcorn, screaming "DO A BACKFLIP," Repost this.
December 2020

Just as the founding fathers intended

I own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
November 2020

Domo Kun

─────────▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄───────── ───────▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄─────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒███▒▒▒▌────── ▄▄────▐▒▒▒███▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒███▒▒▒▌────▄▄ ▌▒▀▄──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▄▀▒▐ ▌▒▒▒▀▄█▒▒▒▄▀▄▄▀▀▄▄▀▀▄▄▀▄▒▒▒█▄▀▒▒▒▐ ▀▄▒▒▒▒▐▒▒▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▒▒▌▒▒▒▒▄▀ ──▀▄▒▒▐▒▒▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▒▒▌▒▒▄▀── ────▀▄▐▒▒▐▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▌▒▒▌▄▀──── ──────█▒▒▐▄▀▄▀▀▄▄▀▀▄▄▀▀▄▌▒▒█────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▌────── ──────▐▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▓▓▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▓▓▄▀▀▄▓▓▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ──────▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌──▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌────── ───────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀───────
September 2021

Evolution is sorcery made up by communists

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Pie, concerned Christian parent here, my child came asking for 4.99$ because he said he wanted to join the BDC, whatever that is. Please stop filling my kid's head with lies... I already had to tell him that Evolution is sorcery made up by communists
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing