Popular Copypastas

So yesterday in class we were all given our new Windows computers (last year, I hacked the chromebooks so they could play Sonic Advance) and I immediately downloaded twenty-five PC Sonic games within one hour and installed two dozen emulators to play the console and handheld ones. After we all got our computers, I bragged about having the ability to play 60 Sonic games. The teacher confisticated my computer and said I would have to use the chromebooks for the rest of the year. She also said that Sonic was a dead franchise and that Fortnite was better in every way. That was really no good and SLOW of her! So I ripped my computer out of my Sonic-hating teacher and screamed "YOU SLUTTY SLOW SONIC HATER! YOU'RE JUST TOO SLOW!" I also went to her macbook, and deleted Fortnite and installed more Sonic games and played Gotta Go Fast to the whole class. She gave me an F, which is impossible since E is the lowest rank and S is the highest, and sent me to the principal's office, where I was suspended and they called my parents, who took away my Game Gear. When I get back, I'll make sure they pay for being TOO SLOW.

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.

To: Talk:Among Us The heavy amount of shitposting which satires the videogame "Among Us" seems massive and relevant enough to me to have some sort of brief mention in this article. As there is a lot of satire about whether or not Among Us is "dead" or "overpopulated by 5 year olds". Of course, this section would maintain the formal and encyclopedic tone of Wikipedia articles, but things such as the "Among Us Effect" As seen here:1st or in the Lego Piece 26047 (Image of the aforementioned piece, which looks like the Crewmate in Among Us. This internet phenomenom is so big that you can literally post the Image of a trashcan without any context and many people will get the "Amogus" reference But take all of this with a bit of salt. My goal here is not to get the funnies, but to make wikipedia a better place, and I think this is a way to do it, but If you don't feel like this is the right way feel free to tell me.

Just finished watching the full 13 minute Belle Delphine Christmas vid. In short, I am utterly surprised on how bad it was, literally something you can't mess up, penetrative sex on camera was failed. In the FULL 13 minutes of the video we get no full frontal pussy shot. WTF. What is the point of releasing a sextape if you're still carrying on doing the gimmick that you hide your vagina in every photo/video that you do on your subscription service?? They need to pay a cinematographer, screenwriter, even a basic cameraman for her videos if this amount of money is needed to access them, there's a reason why there's dedicated crew and directors for pornography videos. Not only did they need a crew, they needed proper editors to fix the damn fucking lighting, my eyes were burning from how much the brightness was fucked up. The angles in the video were so damn off, in multiple scenes 2/3rds of the scene is just showcasing the man's buttocks, legs and rest of the body rather than Belle. In most of the penetrative scenes, with the camera angle that they chose, her head is cut off from the frame, what is the point, her whole facial expressions and face got her to this point of fame?!? Nobody knew or followed Belle Delphine for her body. Yet again, with the whole hiding of her vagina, her self masturbation scene is limited to her fingering her butthole, I kept on telling myself that she would do something different, or maybe she had some anal fetish, but from 1:21 to 4:22, it's literally just that, a waste of 3 minutes of my time. I'm in utter disbelief on how they messed this thing up, thank god I got it for free. Worst thing is, I didn't even nut.

I was driving with a friend I grab his leg instead of the gearstick We both laugh and I unzip his pants I park the car while fondling with his balls, my friend is laughing because he knows it's a joke and we're just friends I start sucking his dick and was about to choke on it because I'm laughing so hard My friend is also laughing his ass off, he starts making train noise while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO" He then cums and then I swallow it all and kiss him while both laughing cuz we know it's a joke. Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro.

the reality is that the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. just like the flat earth debate, the truth is in the middle. the earth is not round nor purely flat; it is a dome

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?