[Copypasta] Citizens of Dalaran!

twitchquotes: Citizens of Dalaran! Raise your eyes to the skies and observe! Today our world's destruction has been averted in defiance of our very makers! Algalon the Observer, herald of the titans, has been defeated by our brave comrades in the depths of the titan city of Ulduar. Algalon was sent here to judge the fate of our world. He found a planet whose races had deviated from the titans' blueprints. A planet where not everything had gone according to plan.
twitch chat
July 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex!

twitchquotes: OhMyDog Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex! I just wanted to let you know that some more of my fur fell out today. Maybe it's that "vegan" diet you've been putting me on? Anyways, I love you, and wish you would stop playing that card game all the time and talk to me and Rania sometimes. Sorry, that's a lot to ask, I know you need money to buy us more "kale" or whatever. Anyways, good luck on your "Heart Stone"! OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Jared and Jock E-Athelete bullies

twitchquotes: Jared shuffles to his locker wiping a tear from his eye. He looks over his shoulder to see DOM and QT, the jock E-Athlete bullies, laughing at him and his wedgie. Jared clinches his fist in rage knowing that soon the time would come, he will show them...
twitch chat
May 2016
imaqtpie

Boosted Animal Jared

League of Legends

I accidentally ran over my wife’s pet rabbit with my car

So my wife works from home and she is a graphic designer. She is working from home because the rabbit is very needy and cannot be apart from her without screaming it’s head off. She barely leaves the house due to this and it is difficult because I have to do everything for her and them that requires leaving the house. Whenever we go anywhere together the rabbit has to go with her. However since that post was posted I had developed a plan with the help from some dms and comments I had been acting sick all night and all morning and convinced my wife to go to the market for me to get me medicine. Some Tylenol and cough syrup. She was worried about the rabbit and suggested taking it with her but I somehow convinced her to go without it. We live in a rural area and the closest store is about 20 minutes away. So I hatched my plan as soon as she left. I grabbed that little shit by the neck and while it kicked and screamed I put it into an Amazon box and rushed to the car with it. Initially the plan was to release him into the wild so I drove to the closest wild spot which happens to be a campsite and let the little parasite out. He is partially blind so he just sat there for a bit and I pushed it closer to the grass off the gravel parking lot and it started sniffing around and shit. At this point I thought I was home free and I got into the car to leave but the little shit noticed me getting in and ran towards the car when I started it and moved the car over a bump and I heard a scream. I didn’t know what to do do I started driving and stopped the car a little further away and it was lying there on the gravel parking lot as I started to panic. I didn’t want to kill it I just wanted it gone. Instead I drove over it like a speed bump. I put him back into the box and Drove to the vet. My wife is calling my phone I don’t know what to do, I’m writing this in the waiting room of the vet. I fucked up. The whole thing is a blur. Edit: rabbit is alive, driving home, will update
May 2022

Kripp and Larry Page, CEO of Google

twitchquotes: Hᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, Lᴀʀʀʏ Pᴀɢᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ, CEO ᴏғ Gᴏᴏɢʟᴇ. Yᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍɪɴɢ ᴄᴏᴘʏʀɪɢʜᴛ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ Bʟɪᴢᴢᴀʀᴅ Eɴᴛᴇʀᴛᴀɪɴᴍᴇɴᴛ™. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴏᴘ ɪᴍᴍᴇᴅɪᴀᴛᴇʟʏ ᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ ᴡɪʟʟ ʀɪᴘ ɪɴ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
May 2014
Kripp

DVD logo

⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⡀ ⠀⢠⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠈⢹⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣇⠀⣠⣿⣿⠟⣽⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⡿⠃⢹⣿⣿⣶⣿⡿⠋⢰⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣠⣼⣿⣿⠏ ⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠁⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣸⣟⣁⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣻⡟⣻⣿⢻⣿⡟⣛⢻⣿⡟⣛⣿⡿⣛⣛⢻⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀ ⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠷⣼⣿⣿⣼⣿⣧⣭⣼⣿⣧⣭⣿⣿⣬⡭⠾⠿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠀
January 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing