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The year is 2035, you enter your local 7/11 to buy yourself a g fuel before your shift in the local crypto mine. The android working the counter says they only accept doge coin. You pull out your phone, draw a stick man in less than five seconds on a yellow back ground and then sell it as an NFT. From the sell you make 6 doge coin, about 5 million dollars in old world money. You go to buy the drink only to find out that from the time you closed your phone to the time you talked to the cashier the coins had dropped in value to only 3 dollars per coin and you now owe at least 10 doge coin to the robot for the gamer fuel. You leave the store, frustrated, and drive off in your Tesla

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.

A lot of people say that Pokimane is not really a talented streamer but she's famous. A lot of people say her success comes from looking good and i'd agree with them and some of these people say her success comes from her personality and all the time she's spent streaming and i'd also agree with them. The thing is I think i'm in love with Pokimane and I think she's super pretty, talented, amazing, beautifal, funny, and smart. I want to make Pokimane my wife and wake up to her next to me every morning. I want to please her in every way I can just to see the smile on her face. Every time I think about waking up next to her , it makes me so happy and so in love with her. I think she has one of the most beautiful bodies on this earth and I would like to see her with my own eyes every day. Her smile , her charm, her charisma, her laughter, her tears, her thoughts, her feelings. I want to share everything with this women that I've fallen for. I don't care that people are going to say that I have no chance with her it's fine but thinking about being with her makes me happy so why is it so wrong to have that. If you guys want to make fun of me for liking Pokimane that's fine but I'll always love her with everything I have. I want to be with Pokimane through life , through death, through thick and thin, through sadness and sorrow, and everlasting happiness, I want to be there. I know i've already said this before but I'll say it again make fun of me for falling in love with Pokimane but you'll never break the love i have for her.

TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking. This is where things got weird. As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?” I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again. TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again

An Unpopular Opinion: "lmao" is used too much on the internet. First, I'd like to start with an analysis, if you will. L - Laughing - describing a sense of funniness M My - referring to the self as the consumer of the humour A Arse - referring to a part of the human anatomy to form a slightly offensive reference reinforcing the laugh reaction O Off - ^^^ "lmao" is commonly used on the internet and especially forums or chat services to express enjoyment of a joke. In some ways, it is parallel of "lol", meaning "laughing out loud". This is one of the most seen acronyms used across the internet. "lmao" is spelled with an L at the front, which in lowercase appears like a capital I. Therefore, newcomers to the internet may try to pronounce it as "eye-may-oh", where in fact the general consensus is "ell-em-ay-oh" (to pronounce as an acronym) or "yl-may-oh" (to pronounce phonetically). The fundamental concept that the pronouncing is not clear cut obviously shows that "lol" is the superior (and far more commonly used historically, as "lol" has been searched for consistently since 2004 while "lmao" only became mainstream around 2015, at a significantly lesser volume to "lol") acronym. "lol" is simple, clear-cut and phonetically easy to pronounce. In fact, if I was to write the pronunciation into text, it would be the same thing as the acronym essentially. Second, the use of "arse". This may not offend a lot of people, but the inclusion of a word that may be rude or inappropriate to say for children in an acronym that may be used in places in the internet where children are. In "lol", no potentially rude words are included and the term is harmless. According to Ofcom, the British broadcasting regulator, "arse" is just as rude as "bloody" or "goddamn" and is considered mild. In conclusion, "lmao"'s use as a drop-in for "lol" is unacceptable. It should be only used to reflect and react to extremely funny jokes or messages, and should not replace "lol". "lol" is clearly easier to pronounce, more acceptable to children, and and is generally an easier to look at acronym.