[Copypasta] TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass

TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking. This is where things got weird. As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?” I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again. TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
July 2022
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Momo

⣿⣿⣿⡉⢀⣾⣿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⡗⠄⣼⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠄ ⣿⡻⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄ ⠷⠁⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣭⣼⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣒⣲⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⢠ ⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⣷ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣧⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣭⣿⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠎⠄⠄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡲⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019

Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Sandown's mother here, Sandup. I don't appreciate the excessive amount of brofisting you've been doing to my son's rectum. When he sleeps at night all he can dream about is you welcoming him to the "5 dolla club" as you tear his anus apart and cause it to profusely bleed with your fist and it's all your fault that he's so butthurt!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle

twitchquotes: I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
twitch chat
April 2020

spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020

Amogus Army

𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ𓊹Ꭿ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ 𓌜ඞ 𓌱ඞ 𓌏ඞ
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing