TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?”
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Hey Tyler, I heard you’re having problems with fatigue
twitchquotes:
Hey Tyler, I heard you’re having problems with fatigue on your stream 2 days ago. This could be due to micronutrient deficiencies. Make sure you’re getting enough Zinc, Magnesium and Vitamin D. You can go to *** to check if you’re lacking nutrition. Also watch the sugar since it causes insulin spikes and subsequent drops which could cause your fatigue. (not shilling that website btw I just want you to reach your full potential) <3 <3 <3
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Tyler1
She sells sea shells on the sea shore
She sells seashells on a seashore
But the value of these shells will fall
Due to the laws of supply and demand
No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand
Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity
Shells will sell much better if the people think they’re rare, you see
Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island
Stockpile 'em high until they’re rarer than a diamond
Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em
Really want 'em, really fuckin' want 'em, hit 'em like Bronson
Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment
If you haven’t got a shell, then you're just a fucking wasteman
Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property
Start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly
"Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy
Swallow all your morals, they're a poor man's quality
Four: expand, expand, expand
Clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand
Five: why just shells? Why limit yourself?
She sells seashells, sell oil as well
Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks
Sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock
Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes
Then run to be the president of the United States
Eight: big smile mate, big wave, that's great
Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate
Nine: Polarise the people, controversy is the game
It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name
Ten: the world is yours
Step out on a stage to a round of applause
You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore
And you sell seashells on the seashore
Kripp please lick knee twice
twitchquotes:
ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀʀɪɴᴏ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs Rᴀɴɪᴀ. Mʏ ᴛᴏɴɢᴜᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴏᴜᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ʟɪᴄᴋɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴡᴇᴇᴛ ᴋɴᴇᴇ ᴊᴜɪᴄᴇ ᴀʟʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʟɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴋɴᴇᴇ ᴛᴡɪᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪɴ ʀᴇᴡᴀʀᴅ ɪ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ɴᴏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ.
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Kripp
I am new to GitHub and I have lots to say
I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE FUCKING CODE! i just want to download this stupid fucking application and use it https://github.com/sherlock-project/sherlock#installation
WHY IS THERE CODE??? MAKE A FUCKING .EXE FILE AND GIVE IT TO ME. these dumbfucks think that everyone is a developer and understands code. well i am not and i don't understand it. I only know to download and install applications. SO WHY THE FUCK IS THERE CODE? make an EXE file and give it to me. STUPID FUCKING SMELLY NERDS
The Bola
twitchquotes:
QT this is your Dr. It seems your subs have all gotten not only "The Bola" but also type 2 diabetes. I believe it is the combination of missed arrows and you to wanting become a pizza. Stop before you also get The Bola.
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imaqtpie