TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?”
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Muffins the dog in love with cats
twitchquotes:
I'm muffins! i'm a dog that is in LOVE with cats! That's right! I know it sounds crazy because floofy doogos aren't supposed to breed with sassy kitties but I grew up with them and have just never really wanted anything to o with other puppers. It just feels so good to be a big strong dog loving a slender and fragile kitty! I can't help myself! Their long tail seductively swishing effortlessly through the air... I'm getting too excited now! I need to go to the park! I'm going to go play now!
twitch chat
SpongeBob is asexual (spoilers)
SpongeBob is asexual
No this isn’t some lgbtq+ stuff
He’s a fucking sea sponge
They reproduce asexually
REKT Not REKT
☐ Not REKT ☑ REKT ☑ REKTangle ☑ SHREKT ☑ REKT-it Ralph ☑ Total REKTall ☑ The Lord of the REKT ☑ The Usual SusREKTs ☑ North by NorthREKT ☑ REKT to the Future ☑ Once Upon a Time in the REKT ☑ The Good, the Bad, and the REKT ☑ LawREKT of Arabia ☑ Tyrannosaurus REKT ☑ eREKTile dysfunction
Classic
Shrek
3-eyed face
░░░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▓▓▓▄▄▄░░░░░
░░░░▄▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▄░░░
░░▄▄▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▀█▄░
░▓▓▌▓▓▓░░▒▒▒▒▀(◐)▒▒▒▒▒█▓
░▓▓▌▓▓░▒▒▓(◐)▓░░░▒▓▓(◐)█▓
▓▓▌▓▓█▄█▀▄▄░▀░▀▄▄▀░░█░█
▓▓▌▓▓▀▄█▄█░█▀▄▄▄▄▄▀██░█
░▓▓▌▓▓░█░███▄█▄█▄███░░█
░▓▓▌▓▓░█░███████████░░█
░▓▓▌▓▓░█░███████████░░█
░▓▓▌▓▓░█░███████████░░█
░▓▓▌▓▓░▀▀█░█▀█▀█▀███░█
░░▓▓▌▓▓░░░▀▀▄█▄█▄█▄▀░█
░░▓▓▌▓▓▓▓▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀
This player doesn't even use a monitor
I've seen [insert player here] play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes.