TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?”
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
I used to be a real ad
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Bring us Forsen here and now
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༼ ºل͟º ༽ Magic forces black and white. Reaching out through space and light. A perfect man I summon now. Another way I don't know how. Bring him now into the light. Be he far or be he near. Bring us the Forsen here and now. ༼ ºل͟º ༽
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Forsen
I screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral
Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Among Us / Amogus
My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high
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My IQ is extremely, almost embarrassingly, high. I've never actually taken an IQ test, mind you, but my educated guess is that, if I did, my score would be whatever is the highest possible. No doubt your IQ is lower than mine, but please don't feel stupid or insecure about this, it's not your fault. You're probably just born that way. And you know what? Thank your lucky stars and subpar genetic makeup that you don't have to bear the burden of brilliance like I have to. Being incredibly intelligent is a curse. This is not just one of the many astute observations I have every day, by the way, it is a fact recently confirmed by science.
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have you ever had a dream like this?
have you 👉🏿 ever 😠 had a dreams 😴💭- thats ✔- that you 👉🏻👤 uhm 😤 you 👈 had you 👈- you 👈 could- you 👈 do what you 
want 😍- you 👈 could do- so you 👈👦- you 👈 do- you 👈 could do you 🤖👈- you 👸👉 wan 🔑- you 👸👉 want 😋 him 👴 to do so much 🔥 that you could do anything 💰?
want 😍- you 👈 could do- so you 👈👦- you 👈 do- you 👈 could do you 🤖👈- you 👸👉 wan 🔑- you 👸👉 want 😋 him 👴 to do so much 🔥 that you could do anything 💰?