TIFU: By slapping my wife’s ass
Last night my wife and I were getting hot and heavy, and began having sex. During sex, I decided to put in a little spanking.
This is where things got weird.
As I slapped her ass in the heat of the moment, she bursts out with “yes daddy, spank me harder!” (To preface I knew she had some serious daddy issues)This initially was a turn on, but after a few seconds all I could think of was disciplining my daughter and my face went sour. I stopped immediately and felt awkward. She responded with “what’s wrong daddy, did you not punish me enough?”
I walked out of the room and told her I needed a minute. Now I don’t think I can ever have sex again.
TL;DR slapped my wife’s ass, called me daddy, now I can only think about disciplining my daughter and don’t know if I can ever have sex again
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Trump got kicked out of Blizzcon
twitchquotes:
Trump got kicked out of Blizzcon when security asked him a question and he refused to answer unless they gave him $4.99
twitch chat
Trump
Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red.
“I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.”
But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice.
She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
WallStreetBets
DJ
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⣋⣉⡙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠮⡞⠁⠀⠈⢢⠷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢤⣇⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢰⠙⠚⢧⣀⢀⣠⠞⠓⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡸⠀⡎⠀⣀⡤⠏⠉⠧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⢰⡵⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⣀⡠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣆⠀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⢣⡀⠘⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠙⢤⡈⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢠⠖⣒⣶⠖⠒⠒⠒⠲⠷⣒⠒⠒⠒⠒⣺⣶⠖⠒⠓⢤⣹⠶⣒⠲⡄⠀⠀
⠀⢠⠏⣞⣟⠉⠀⣖⠒⣲⠀⠀⠈⣳⠀⠀⡎⡞⠉⠀⣖⢒⣢⠀⠀⠈⡇⠹⡄⠀
⢠⠏⠀⠘⠪⢅⣀⣀⠉⣀⣀⡠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠙⠮⣇⣀⣀⠉⣀⣀⡤⠖⠁⠀⠹⡄
⡟⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠓⠛⠚⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠚⠛⠛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⢻
⣇⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣸
I'm tired of this terrible chat
twitchquotes:
I'm tired of this terrible chat. I make thoughtful comments and cheer the teams on, but then chat spams and my comment gets lost. I might as well just spam 
7 like the rest of you...
7 like the rest of you...
twitch chat
I hate Twitch Chat
Discord logo
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢹⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⢠⣴⣾⣵⣶⣶⣾⣿⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣧⣀⣼⣿⣄⣠⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠘⠻⢷⡯⠛⠛⠛⠛⢫⣿⠟⠛⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢡⣀⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⣸⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿