[Copypasta] Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Tyler, you are a role model to other streamers

twitchquotes: Tyler, you are a role model to other streamers where you dont prioritize your subs, you are a man of culture who appreciates many things with your 195 IQ. You solved many of the worlds mysteries and invented 400k viewer records. You make even the worst games winnable and never surrender at 15. You are the sole man to walk the Earth capable of achieving such feats. You will leave your footprints in history books.
twitch chat
March 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

coronaS

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠳⢿⣿⠟⣛⡽⠿⠛⠟⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⠋⡏⢱⠄⣀⣀⣤⣀⣁⠨⢻⡅⠐⠌⡈⠊⢏⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢁⠅⣨⠖⠋⠉⠀⡰⠬⠩⠙⠲⢷⠶⢖⠒⠒⢚⡻⠶⠿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣫⡞⢰⠉⡀⠀⠀⢔⣨⠴⠒⠋⠉⠉⠉⠙⠓⢦⡨⠖⠒⠚⠛⠛⠓⠚⠿⣟⣿ ⡿⢻⠃⡇⢈⠦⣡⠖⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣄⠀⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣦⡀⠈⢿ ⠗⡈⠀⠊⠁⠀⣉⣛⡢⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠚⠃⠀⣠⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠋⢀⣠⣾ ⠀⠑⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠓⠯⢵⣶⣶⣖⠒⣬⡭⠞⠉⢉⠉⠉⠉⣉⠉⢍⣷⣿⣿ ⠳⡀⠀⠉⠢⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠙⠓⢦⡶⠶⢖⠺⣯⢿⣿⣿ ⣄⠈⢷⣄⠀⠈⠳⣄⣠⠤⠤⠤⠤⢤⣥⣀⣀⣠⣀⡤⠤⠤⠭⠁⠐⠒⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⡈⠑⣦⠈⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿ ⠛⢦⡀⠑⠨⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿ ⠀⠈⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⣿⣿ ⢥⣄⣀⡠⠬⠲⠦⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠙⠒⠿⢭⣿⣓⣲⠶⠶⠬⠭⠭⠿⠿⠶⠶⠶⣶⡶⢶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

Pepe

Chinese gibberish copypasta

twitchquotes: 臣亮言:先帝創業未半,而中道崩殂。今天下三分,益州疲弊,此誠危急存亡之秋也。然侍衛之臣,不懈於內;忠志之士,忘身於外者,蓋追先帝之殊遇,欲報之於陛下也。誠宜開張聖聽,以光先帝遺德,恢弘志士之氣;不宜妄自菲薄,引喻失義,以塞忠諫之路也。宮中府中,俱為體,陟罰臧否,不宜異同。若有作姦犯科,及為忠善者,宜付有司,論其刑賞,以昭陛下平明之治,不宜篇私,使內外異法也。侍中、侍郎郭攸之、費褘、董允等,此皆良實,志慮忠純,是以先帝簡拔以遺陛下。愚以為宮中之事,事無大前出師表
twitch chat
June 2014
EtrnlWait

I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT

Oh for the love of God. Enough with the MORBIUS. What’s even the joke???? “Hahahaha hey guys the movie sucks but I pretend it’s good”???? THATS NOT EVEN A FUCKING JOKE. Holy shit my dick is going to fall out of its foreskin if I have to hear, “hehe it’s morbin time” ONE MORE TIME. Not only is it NOT funny, IT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE. THE POWER RANGERS HAVENT BEEN RELEVANT IN DECADES. MORBIUS SUCKS THE MOVIE IS COMPLETE TRASH AND IM ASHAMED TO HAVE SPENT MONEY ON IT. You know…. I never would have seen the movie without all of these “memes”(unfunny shitposts). I would have been a MUCH HAPPIER PERSON. So fuck your “MORBIUS” your “mighty morbin more morbs morbidly MORBIUS BULLSHIT” NO ONE CARES, YOU ARENT FUNNY. Does not a singular human being have any independent thought anymore???? “Morb morb morb morb” you’re like a BUNCH OF SEAGULLS. SEA GULLS. What the FUCK does “morbin” even mean????? ITS NOT A WORD. ITS JUST GOBBLE GOOP. I feel like I am the last truly sentient human being on earth. IM BEING DRIVEN TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. TAKE YOUR MORBIUS BULLSHIT, SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, AND GO OUTSIDE. Maybe if you went outside you could get “morb” bitches on your dick??!!! YOU LIKE THAT, YOU SEE WHAT YOUVE REDUCED ME INTO. I am a shell of a man and all of you collectively are to blame.This meme has spread like a debilitating illness AND I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT. THE FALL OF WESTERN SOCIETY IS HERE AND THIS COMPLETE UNFUNNY DRIBBLE OF A MEME IS PART OF THE PROBLEM. WHAT THE FUCK DOES “gETtiNg MoRBed” EVEN MEAN. it makes ZERO SENSE. ITS JUST GIBBERISH. FUCKING GIBB ER ISH. ITS NOT FUNNY. Saying “morb” LIKE ITS ITS OWN PUNCHLINE IS NOT COMEDY. IT IS COMEDIC AND CULTURAL DEGRADATION. Are we really so stunted as a generation that even the mention of any word that starts with m-o-r-b is FUNNY??? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE. Is it funny because it isn’t funny because praising something bad is now good??????? HOW MANY LAYERS OF IRONY DO WE NEED. HOW FAR DOES THE RABBIT HOLE GO. This website has stripped me of EVERY LAST BRAINCELL. GOING ON REDDIT FEELS LIKE IM GETTING A SUPER HERO INDUCED LOBOTOMY. I hate MORBIUS. I HATE IT. I know I’m just going to get FLOODED WITH “get morbed, this guy got morbed, what morb does to a man” HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHQHQHAHAHAHAHAHWHHSHWBSQIISHWINSIQKSBDD SSSSOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY AGAGAGGAGHHHHHHHHH
July 2022

Morbius

My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius

twitchquotes: My name is Octavius Kripparius Muridius, commander of the PJSalteers of the North, General of the Salty Legions and loyal servant to the TRUE emperor, Saltarrian. Father to a Flamestriked son, husband to a Top decked wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this stream or the next.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing