[Copypasta] Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020
Related to this copypasta: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/eat-hot-chip-and-lie
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I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
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November 2014

Happy Merchant

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⢔⢒⡿⠯⠥⢦⣦⣾⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⢮⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⣿⣝⡴⡔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣦⣶⣿⣿⣯⣿⢽⠁⢰⣢⣶⣦⣌⠠⠴⠆⠘⣀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⢂⠘⢻⢛⣛⠿⣝⠁⠀⠼⣁⡴⣖⣫⠙⠙⠿⡳⡅⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠂⠰⠀⠀⠈⡄⢠⢓⣺⢇⡇⣊⠐⠀⠉⠁⠲⠒⠀⠀⠀⠑⠅⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣨⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠰⢸⠄⠄⣸⣷⡦⣄⢤⠄⢄⡀⣀⠤⠠⡀⠀⠈⡄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⠁⠙⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⠘⢠⣿⣟⣿⣿⣪⣮⣶⣸⣮⣖⣢⣌⠁⠀⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⢝⣻⣯⣿⢿⡫⢺⡩⠍⣉⣉⣨⡗⠉⠂⠊⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⡈⠂⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⡸⣹⡿⣿⣯⣷⣱⣙⠫⠧⠷⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⠇⠀⠀⢉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠕⣻⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⡷⣶⣾⠿⠒⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢇⠻⠽⣿⡿⢟⣿⣻⡟⠁⠰⣯⡕⡰⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢩⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠬⣍⠱⠨⠯⠛⠙⢏⠀⢀⡀⣨⡀⠤⢚⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠄⠰⡶⠲⢦⠓⠍⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⢀⠄⠊⠉⠙⠑⠒⠊⠉⠀⠀
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That's the wrong VoHiYo

twitchquotes: VoHiYo THATS VoHiYo THE VoHiYo WRONG VoHiYo HOLE VoHiYo ONII-CHAN VoHiYo KYAAAAH VoHiYo
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Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney

Its the final hand of the Mortdog High Stakes Poker Tourney. Kiyoon can be heard screaming "its a third??” after losing the last hand. Only Raydiz and K3soju are left. Mort deals their cards. Soju smirks and says “alright, bet”. Ray, feeling confident, slides all his chips into the middle of the table “fuck it, we’re all in this round”. Soju confidently throws down his cards “3 aces, KEWK”. Ray laughs and reveals his winning hand “I have a straight flush, diamond 1 to diamond 5”
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