[Copypasta] Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020
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Spiderman Bill makes his web on the hill

twitchquotes: ,/╲/\╭༼ KKona ༽╮/\╱ \ Spiderman Bill makes his web on the hill ,/╲/\╭༼ KKona ༽╮/\╱ \
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Jigsaw

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Quibi is shutting down

twitchquotes: Quibi is shutting down. What’s the fuckin point anymore? Now what am I supposed to do when I go to a restaurant and they tell me my table won’t be ready for another eight minutes? How am I supposed to pass those eight minutes using a cell phone and internet connection without quibi exclusive content only available on quibi? Where else can i get “quick bites” of content streaming directly to my mobile phone for viewing on the go? As if 2020 wasn’t bad enough now I can’t watch any more murder house flip, the show where they renovate houses where human beings have lost their lives at the hands of their loved ones and sell those houses to rich cosmopolitan couples looking to move out of the city? What’s the point? I for one am not “content” with the current state of the “content”
twitch chat
October 2020

Kirby with gun

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How will this affect Rick James?

twitchquotes: Yesterday I walked into the bathroom and my brother was taking a shit. I don't know why he didn't lock the door, but before I could leave he asked me to grab him a roll of toilet paper. As I was handing it to him he jumped up and smacked a hand full of shit across my face...How will this affect Rick James?
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July 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing