[Copypasta] Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Are you Reynad's dad?

twitchquotes: I went to a MTG tournament in Denver to meet Brian Kibler and ask him in person "Are you Reynad's dad?" I needed the truth. I approached Kibler and asked him for a semen sample. Kibler gave a coy smile, "There's only one way you're getting semen out of me." I got on my knees and took the sample. I still don't know if Kibler is Reydad but we've been dating for 5 days now.
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Hi Kripp, this is Pogo’s mom

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, this is Pogo’s mom. I noticed you haven’t been picking my son for your team in gym class. Pogo has been having a really tough time since his dad and I split up, and it doesn’t make it easy on him when you reroll and say, "We’re never taking Pogo". I think you should take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and think how it would feel if someone said that about you. Pogo has mech synergy and can be combined into one big Pogo if you have 3! Why don’t you try being a bit more inclusive?
twitch chat
February 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY

ඞ AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY shut you fucking mouth its a dead game i cant even say the word sus without a person saying AMOUNGUS i cant even DESCRIBE how my life has changed from this because if i go on the internet SUS FUNNY OOH i swear next time i hear or see it i will shit on your mom
May 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Fortnite default dance 9

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⣶⣿⣿⠶ ⣶⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤ ⠀⠉⠶⣶⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣤⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠿⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⠀⠶⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠛⠛⠿⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣉⠿⣿⠶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠒ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠛⣭⣭⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣭⣤⣿⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣭ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⠀⠀⣶⣶⠿⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠛ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣶
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

Professional headmeat physician

twitchquotes: ce: Hello Tyler, this is Dhanraj Ameer, the professional headmeat physician, thank you for contacting me last week. My team and I have been looking at x-rays of your skull and we are interested in a procedure that involves taking the head meat from the sides of your head and using it to fill in the dent in the middle. Due to the severity of your head meat slabs this procedure only has a 10% likelihood of success due to the extreme invasiveness the slab removal will take. Let me know
twitch chat
July 2019
Tyler1
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