[Copypasta] Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

You notice a wall of text in twitch chat

twitchquotes: You notice a wall of text in twitch chat and your hand instinctively goes to the mouse. You scroll up to stop the chat elevator and read the pasta, indulging in its delights... You soon realize that this pasta conveys no information nor is particularly witty or funny. Nevertheless, you drag your mouse across, hit Ctrl+C, then Ctrl+V and press Enter
twitch chat
March 2016

Classic

Sneaky goes 8th in TFT 8 times in a row

twitchquotes: After going 8th 8 times in a row, "Patient 8" hits his head on the wall 8 times in quick succession. The patient only communicates to his "chat"; a bunch of random sentences strung together to find out what will make the patient communicate. The word "Meteos" seems to trigger some sort of erotic response in the patient.
twitch chat
May 2021
Sneaky

Teamfight Tactics

FeelsDankMan

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣿⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣈⡻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠈⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣿⡿⠛⡍⠉⠙⣿⡆⣒⣈⣥⣤⣶⢖⠒⢲⣶⣽ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠂⠀⠁⣨⠜⠿⠿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠰⠀⢋⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠩⠝⠊⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣐⣒⣒⣁⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⣛⣓⠲⠖⠒⠋⢉⣉⠩⠥⢐⣶⣽⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣔⠤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠤⣔⣴⣶⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣯⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣯⣭⣭⣽⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2020

Pepe

Don't let your dreams be memes

twitchquotes: YESTERDAY YOU SAID TOMMOROW, Don't let your dreams be memes, Don't meme your dreams be beams, Jet fuel won't melt tomorrow's memes, DON'T LET YOUR STEEL MEMES BE JET DREAMS
twitch chat
July 2015
imaqtpie

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

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