[Copypasta] Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Only the chosen one can stack these cans!

twitchquotes: DrinkPurple Only the chosen one can stack these cans! PogChamp DrinkPurple but wait PogChamp can you do three cans! PogChamp PogChamp !! DrinkPurple
twitch chat
August 2016

Classic

Jeff / Reynad / Mitch

twitchquotes: As Jeff pushed his Fiery War Axe deeper into Reynad's Golden Coin, Reynad hit end turn. Conceal wore off to reveal it was in fact Mitch Jones's Fiery Bat that was penetrating Reynad's Huge Toad. Reynad gasped, and tried to scurry away, but Mitch Jones held on as he forced his way into his Unstable Portal.
twitch chat
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Magic the Gathering Thought Erasure

twitchquotes: Yesterday, there was a Magic the Gathering tournament at my local hobby shop. My girlfriend decided to tag along and come support me. I ended up doing pretty poorly (1-3), but the hobby shop gave out a consolation prize of a random foiled uncommon card. The card that I received was called "Thought Erasure" and immediately held the card up to my girlfriend and said "AND I CAST THOUGHT ERASURE, BE GONE THOT!" as a joke, but said it pretty loudly. The shop is pretty small and a lot of people caught wind of my act and needless to say my girlfriend was very embarrassed. We're home now and she still hasn't spoken to me. I'm fucked boys.
twitch chat
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Reacting to content takes skill

twitchquotes: Reaction when done right is a true artform. The sheer effort, persistence and dedication it takes for someone to master the craft is astounding. The skill and talent of the contestants on masterchef pales in comparison to the skill and talent of the true master watching them, pausing at the precise moment to achieve the pinnacle of comedy by releasing gas audibly from his colon. It is truly exhilarating, even a little arousing, to witness a true master of reacting at work.
twitch chat
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64 is cool, Melee is too, Ultimate will suffice

twitchquotes: <3 64 IS COOL <3 MELEE IS TOO <3 ULTIMATE WILL SUFFICE <3 SO LET’S BE NICE <3
twitch chat
February 2019
VGBootCamp

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Text-to-Speech Playing