[Copypasta] Joe Biden eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: He lets out a sigh and then a plastic smile. “Under the Biden administration,” he says, carefully “There will be a few new rules. It will be forbidden to cook,” The crowd gasps. “Everyone will have to eat McDonalds,” Jill hangs her head in shame. “You may have to charge your phone. You may have to twerk. Hell, you may even have to be bisexual.” An uproar starts in the crowd, but Biden ushers a silence with his next words “But it will all be worth it when we as a people can eat hot chip and lie. Thank you.” Biden leaves the podium to a thunderous applause. America is saved.
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Jared returns home from North Korea to Tobito

twitchquotes: The year is 2028, Jared returns home to Nantucket after serving his 3rd tour in North Korea. Victorious but broken, he exhales hard as he looks up to see his quaint house on the hill. It isn't until that his eyes take in the grace and beauty of Tobito Flatdickacini that he finds the will to continue living. That night they dined on rum and cheese by candlelight and reminisced of 2016. The time of Harambe, the quarrel they had that lead to JABITO, and their asexual child, Plankie. KappaPride
twitch chat
December 2016
Fate_Twisted_NA

League of Legends

Another extremely unjust loss

twitchquotes: Once again, Kripp, you suffer another extremely unjust loss. I have no idea why you keep losing game after game, even though you possess superb drafting and world-class card game decision making skills. There's clearly something not right and I'm betting that someone at Blizzard may be a little jealous of you.
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Sylvester the Cat

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September 2021

Imagine the profit!

twitchquotes: soon kripp. you will have enough subs to turn it into sub mode. you will cause a rage so fierce from the common plebs that they will only turn to subbing to not lose their spam rights. you will become the richest streamer on here based off the rage of others. imagine the profit!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Dragon Rider

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August 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing