[Copypasta] Apple announces an EV program

Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
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GameStop vs Amazon

i’m not sure how up to date you are on the whole GameStop situation but Amazon is heading for bankruptcy and GameStop is now their biggest competitor. market cap isn’t there yet, but the company plan is on track. also Jeff Bezos is the target of every major corporation now. Amazon CANT survive the next few years with their increasing bad reputation from littering and burning unused inventory to labor rights with their workers being violated. Amazon sounds great, until you look underneath the hood and see all the parts are grinding and screaming. GameStop is targeting Amazon to be the epicenter of e-commerce/gaming. this GameStop earnings has been MASSIVELY anticipated and i believe Amazon will continue to develop a negative correlation to GameStop. so what do they have to do with each other? competitors and GameStops about to make the move with a bite to the jugular.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good β€˜ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies πŸš€ Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wife’s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out πŸš€πŸš€πŸš€ For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wife’s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

HODL

πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ•πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘
February 2021

WallStreetBets

GME revamp

GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I challenge you to β€œTurtle King”

Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks. I challenge you to β€œTurtle King” instead. We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings. The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the β€œdock” is crowned Turtle 🀴. Dual me, I’m 4-0.
October 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing