[Copypasta] My Kappa is broken

twitchquotes: My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace My Κappa is broken WutFace
twitch chat
June 2017
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Kripp has contracted Casualitis

twitchquotes: The average length of Kripp's stream has decreased over the past 3 years from an average length of 11 hours to the current average of 5 hours. In 2 more years, Kripp will stream for 0 hours. What's the cause? Sources say Kripp has contracted a terminal illness - Casualitis. Soon he will join Katarrian in Heaven. BibleThump
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Kripp and Arthus

twitchquotes: My son the day you were born, the very websites of internet whispered the name: Kripparian.My child, I watched with pride as you grew into a gamer of hardcoreness.Remember, our family always played hardcore with friends and I know you will never play casual scrubcore shit, but the truest hardcoreness is my son is the entertaining your viewers. I tell you this for when my days come to an end you shall not be casual.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

You have been presented with superior intellect

twitchquotes: ———————————————————————— TwitchVotes You have been presented with superior intellect. Type 5Head to activate————————————————————————
twitch chat
March 2019

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now

I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
April 2022

COVID

Coronavirus

Riven is the perfect champion

twitchquotes: Riven is the perfect champion. With every 3rd Q cast she flips upside down ahd shows her panties to the 300 million active incel League of Legends players. The voice acting when she casts her ult is perfect for fellow spergs in need of voice ASMR assistance during masturbation, and to top it all off, the toes of her feet are exposed for the maximum pleasure per second (p/s) of gameplay. One of the greatest champions by Riot Games so far next to Braum.
twitch chat
November 2018

League of Legends

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