twitchquotes:
My Κappa is broken 
My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken
My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken My Κappa is broken
twitch chat
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
WTF IS MEGALUL?
twitchquotes:
We have the perfect three letter emote for a british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the 
emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could at the 
fags but now 
has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could at the fags but now has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
Forsen
Lord Microsoft
10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington.
A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine.
"Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside.
Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out.
The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground.
"This is the last one?" the figure asks.
"Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for."
The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger.
"Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-"
"Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!"
The guards grab the man, hoisting him up.
"Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection.
"Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse."
The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain.
He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale.
"How may I serve you, my lord."
COVID
Coronavirus
PepeLaughYou
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠄⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⠿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⣿⣯⣼⣿⡿⠟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⠿⢿⣿⣄⠄⠄
⠄⢠⣿⢿⡫⢞⣫⣥⣴⣶⣶⣦⣭⡲⣝⣟⡥⣚⣭⣥⣶⣶⣬⣭⣟⡳⣼⣻⣧⡀
⠄⣿⠛⣮⠗⠉⠁⠐⠶⠄⠰⠶⠭⢉⣿⣿⣃⠉⠵⠶⠄⠰⠖⠂⠉⠓⢮⣟⠻⡇
⢸⣿⣿⣁⣰⣿⡭⠵⠶⠟⣛⣉⠴⠿⣣⣇⡿⠶⣍⣑⠻⠷⠾⢭⣤⣷⣈⣹⣿⡇
⠄⠻⣿⣟⣻⢯⣍⣛⣛⣿⢭⣐⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣗⣨⢿⣛⣛⣛⣭⡿⣟⣿⡿⠄
⠄⠄⣀⣍⡛⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⠄⠄
⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣬⣥⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣛⣛⣛⣛⣭⣭⣶⣿⣦⠄
⠄⣿⡈⠿⠟⠁⣀⣤⣄⣀⣐⡲⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⣶⠉⣿⢻⣿⣿⠄
⢀⣈⣤⣾⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⢛⡭⠭⠤⡘⠸⢸⠃⣿⡇⣿⡇⡿⢇⠜⣠⢧⠞⣽⣿⠄
⣾⡿⢹⣿⡿⠉⣿⣿⡟⡜⣢⣭⡒⢉⢠⢸⡄⣭⡅⠗⣢⠖⣡⡞⣥⣾⣾⠟⠁⠄
⣿⡇⣾⣿⡇⣴⣿⣿⣇⢶⣿⡷⠚⣬⣬⣬⣷⣶⡾⢛⣽⣾⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄
⢟⡇⠿⠿⠇⣛⣭⣭⣍⢰⢆⣺⢨⣭⣭⣭⣥⣶⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠈⠛⠈⠿⠿⣙⣭⣥⣤⣤⣴⣾⡇⣛⣛⣛⣛⣩⣥⣴⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄
Pepe
"Based"? Are "Based"? Are you fucking kidding me?
"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
Based
Classic
Darth Bearish the Regarded
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. It’s not a story any bull would tell you.
It’s an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits… He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!