[Copypasta] Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku

twitchquotes: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!
twitch chat
June 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

How will this affect my chains?

twitchquotes: Hey Reynad, A dinosaur here. I was recently locked up but I killed the zoo owner. However, I was not able to find the key on him. How will this affect my chains?
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

SUS

⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬›πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄πŸ”΄β¬›β¬› ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
ascii art
August 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

Please put an NSFW tag on this

Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like β€œwhat the fuck” and β€œcall the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
December 2021

Reddit

I awoke from my coma and muted the stream

twitchquotes: I owe my life to [insert streamer]. I got in a horrible car crash and i was in 6 month coma. The nurse walked in and changed the Twitch channel to [insert streamer]'s stream. I awoke from my coma and muted [insert streamer].
twitch chat
September 2014

Classic

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing