[Copypasta] Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku

twitchquotes: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!
twitch chat
June 2017
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

The giant salt monster known as Kripp

twitchquotes: All this salt has formed into the giant salt monster known as Kripp. For all the salt of the ocean can not keep him at bay. Blame RNG and lose! Then go to cast another player cause you can't play. The salt is real, the salt is kripp, and thats why he losses.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I remember meeting hbox at a tournament

twitchquotes: I remember meeting hbox at a tournament. I asked him when I should use Pound as puff and he said I'll show you when to use Pound and he pounded me into a brick wall
twitch chat
June 2021
Hungrybox

Just kidding, it's still Tanner

twitchquotes: H-hey Octavian, do you remember me from Biology? Freshman year? It's Laura. I just wanted to stop by since you missed the last reunion, I was looking for you. I always thought you were really smart and talented, but I could never work up the nerve to tell you. Anyway, I hope you're doing well...HAHA Just kidding, it's still Tanner you fucking gullible idiot lmfao. Anyway, the gym awaits, see ya man good talk.
twitch chat
August 2018
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

You think itā€™s funny to take screenshots of peopleā€™s NFTs, huh?

You think itā€™s funny to take screenshots of peopleā€™s NFTs, huh? You must be a very immature person to steal someoneā€™s property that they PAID for. Yeah, I said it. Youā€™re the kind of person who thinks that property theft (a seriously illegal offence) is a joke. I donā€™t even know why you took that screenshot, because you didnā€™t pay 1000 dollars for it. I did. The blockchain doesnā€™t lie. Even if you try to save it, itā€™s my property. Youā€™re just angry that you couldnā€™t afford this priceless masterpiece. Even if you could, your fingers couldnā€™t even click fast enough to get one of the 10000 NFTs sold. Youā€™re just mad you donā€™t own what I own. So, delete that screenshot, or I swear, youā€™ll be hearing from my lawyers.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing