[Copypasta] Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku

twitchquotes: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!
twitch chat
June 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

You are such a large pepperoni, why aren't you a pizza

twitchquotes: "Kripp my son," say the Papparin, "you are such a large pepperoni, why aren't you a pizza." But the Kripp don't respond. He elopes to Greece and runs his hand through his unshaven face scruff and say "Well met!" to the twisted Succubus. Alone in his heart, Papparin commits sudoku at a Starbucks in San Bernardino with Al Pacino, no cappucino.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

On March 21st, 2016 Jerma was streaming Overwatch

On March 21st, 2016 Jerma was streaming Overwatch when suddenly he felt an overwhelming sense of dread. Moments later, Ster (who was hiding behind the curtains) snuck up behind Jerma, and after a short struggle, Ster stole Jerma's hat, saying "I'm you now." Jerma died. At that point the camera footage was frozen, but it later returned to Ster pretending to be Jerma.
March 2022
Jerma985

Overwatch

Creepy NaM smile

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣉⡉⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣉⢭⣙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣠⣶⡿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⡳⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢣⣾⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⠄⠙⠻⣞⣞⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢡⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠙⣞⠼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢼⣿⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠻⡀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⣸⡿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠄⢀⣾⣿⡇⠄⢠⠄⠄⣹⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠈⠄⢰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠻⣿⠄⣠⣄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⣀⡀⢸⣿⣦⡀⣤⣉⡛⠛⠛⡛⠛⠉⠠⠐⢰⣿⢠⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣞⣿⣿⣷⣄⠛⠁⢹⢗⡿⢉⠁⠄⣠⣿⣣⣿⣿⡟⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣼⣬⣧⣥⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019

Not a weeb thing

twitchquotes: ‘not a weeb thing’. try living a day in my shoes, walking around terrified of encountering normal people everywhere i go. wherever i look, people with tv show merch, people speaking english. it makes me and millions of other weebs out there feel really attacked.
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing