[Copypasta] Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku

twitchquotes: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!
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June 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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Man-made sack containing balls

twitchquotes: Long ago in the land of Minecraft I noticed that the ink sacs were spelled sac, instead of sack, I got confused and googled it, I discovered that a sac is just an organic sack, part of an animal or whatnot, and now multiple years later, I’m coming to the realisation ball sacks shouldn’t be called ball sacks, they should be called ball sacs, a ball sack would be a man-made sack containing balls
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March 2020

It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020

FeelsTrashMan

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣄⣀⣀⣀⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠃⠄⠄⠄⠤⠄ ⠄⠄⣀⣴⡶⠶⠿⠿⠿⠏⠉⠉⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣧⣾⣿⡿⢛⣫⣭⣭⣤⣍⠻⣿⠛⠛⡋⠭⠭⠤⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠅⣊⣵⣶⠾⠟⣛⣛⣃⢩⠥⠶⠒⠛⠛⠒⠲⠦⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣭⡉⢭⠂⢐⢠⡄⠻⠋⠰⢾⣿⠃⠄⠲⠄⠙⠋⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣍⣓⣒⣒⣒⡒⣊⣥⣿⠶⣶⠶⠶⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄ ⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄ ⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣛⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠆⠄⠄ ⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣶⣛⣛⣛⣛⠷⠶⣮⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⠞⠁⠄ ⢠⣐⡲⠬⣍⣛⡛⠿⠹⢦⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣝⣓⣒⣊⡩⠭⠭⠭⠵⠶⠖⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠠⣽⣛⠿⠷⣤⣭⣭⣛⣓⣒⡤⠤⠬⣭⣭⣙⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣋⣁⣤⣤⡄⠄⠄ ⣐⡒⠾⢭⣽⣓⡺⠭⢭⣛⣛⣛⡿⠷⠶⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣟⡃⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⡿⣰⣦⢠⡝⣛⡓⠦⠤⠭⢭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣻⠯⠅⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢸⡇⣿⡏⣾⢇⣿⢣⡿⣸⡟⣴⡆⡶⢰⡆⡶⣰⣶⢰⡆⣶⢰⡆⠿⠄⠄⠄⠄
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November 2021

Pepe

Two beefy cholos

twitchquotes: tbBaconBiscuit Asked for two beefy cholos at taco bell, I'm so embarrassed, I thought it was a menu item, instead two chefs came out from the back and massaged my prostate tbBaconBiscuit
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March 2016
Dyrus

Smoking Frog

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░█░▄██░░░░░░██▄░░ ░░░█▄▀▄▄░█░░░░█░▄░█▄ ░░▄▀░▀▀▀▀░░░░░░▀▀▀░░ ▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░ █░░░░█░░░░░░▄▄▀░░░░░ █░▄▀▄░▀▀▀▀▀▀░░░▄▀▀▄░ ▀▄▀░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄(_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅ () ด้็็็็็้็็็็็้็็็็็้็็็็็้็็็็็้็็็็็้็็็็็้็็็็็ . ░▀▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
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May 2017
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