[Copypasta] Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku

twitchquotes: Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shapeshifting Master of Darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!
twitch chat
June 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

These are classic hedge fund tricks.

WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IS NOT A SELL-OFF. Melvin Capital is going to throw a lot of tricks at us that will make it look like the stock is dropping. Don't fall for it. Do not sell if you see any of these things happen: GME drops by 30% or more after hours SEC filings show that shorts have all exited their positions GME drops below $1 a share The Gamestop locations near you start closing GME files for bankruptcy GME is delisted from the stock exchange Your bank forecloses on your home for late payment Your children have children of their own who grow up and become investment bankers and tell you that you should stop telling people you're "diamond handing" a company that went out of business 30 years ago These are classic hedge fund tricks.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Put shoe on head to prove not pre-recorded

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ PUT SHOE ON HEAD TO PROVE NOT PRE-RECORDED ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
twitch chat
August 2015

Classic

Rice farmer in Polynesia

twitchquotes: Hello my name is muambashu and i am a rice farmer in polynesia. I made my computer out of rubber from gum trees and banana leaves. Please help me defeat corporations by following in my footsteps and not understanding money. Please no copy pasterino
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

Please abide by the Reddit amendments

Sir, please abide by the Reddit amendments: • ⁠Big Chungus is funny • ⁠Keanu Reeves is the second coming of christ • ⁠Elon Musk is the third coming of Christ (as well as wholesome 100, he knows Reddit memes) • ⁠Fortnite is gay (gay = bad) • ⁠Females are dumb while men are cool • ⁠Nestle is the worst company ever (as well as the only bad company) • ⁠Minecraft is the best game ever made • ⁠No emojis allowed (except for 🗿 (yo angelo (it's funny because it's a Jojo reference (if you see someone commit a Jojo reference, you are legally forced to continue the reference chain, if you do not, you will be downvoted))) • ⁠Being downvoted means you're wrong, if you think you're being wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment, and if you still think you were wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment until you understand what you did wrong • ⁠Reddit is the best social media Until I have seen major improvements in your behavior, your post will be awarded one downvote (aka Australia upvote, it's funny because Australia is on the opposite side of the globe compared to Europe and America, lol). This is your first and final warning, if you do not abide by these amendments in the future, everyone will dislike that.
August 2021

Padoru

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⡠⢲⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠔⣈⣀⠄⢔⡒⠳⡴⠊⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄ ⠄⢜⡴⢑⠖⠊⢐⣤⠞⣩⡇⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠝⠛⠋⠐ ⢸⠏⣷⠈⠄⣱⠃⠄⢠⠃⠐⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠸⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠈⣅⠞⢁⣿⢸⠘⡄⡆⠄⠄⠈⠢⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⡀⠄⠡⢀⠄⣀ ⠄⠙⡎⣹⢸⠄⠆⢘⠁⠄⠄⠄⢸⠈⠢⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠑⢿⠈⢆⠘⢼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⢐⢾⠄⡘⡏⠲⠆⠠⣤⢤⢤⡤⠄⣖⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣴⣶⣿⣿⣣⣈⣢⣸⠄⠄⠄⠄⡾⣷⣾⣮⣤⡏⠁⠘⠊⢠⣷⣾⡛⡟⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠒⢽⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⣿⣟⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣻⡿⡇⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠰⢼⠄⠄⠄⡄⠁⢻⣍⣯⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣻⠃⠈⡆⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠙⠿⠿⠛⣿⣶⣤⡇⠄⠄⢣⠄⠄⠈⠄⢠⠂⠄⠁⠄⡀⠄⠄⣀⠔⢁⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⠢⣖⣶⣦⣤⣤⣬⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⡏⠠⢃⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⠿⠟⠛⡹⠉⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠠⠤⠤⠄⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠑⠠⣤⣀⣀⣀⡘⣿⠿⠙⠻⡍⢀⡈⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⠠⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠉⠄⠻⣿⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
December 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing