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Robinhood halts trading on President's Day

This is bullshit. I’m disgusted and I’m honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time it’s halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders aren’t going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dad’s wife’s girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and I’m seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. I’m low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. She’s giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates it’s still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. It’s time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all. Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. It’s 2021 you bigots.

HODL

🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌕🌔🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌘🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌔🌕🌖🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌔🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑
I used to be a real ad

WSB Buy $COCK

Buy $COCK. I heard WSB is buying $COCK and $COCK IS THE NEXT BIG THING. $COCK IS RISING TODAY. Do your own DD on $COCK and let me know how much you like $COCK. 💎✊ your 🚀🚀🚀 $COCK to the 🌑

These are classic hedge fund tricks.

WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW IS NOT A SELL-OFF. Melvin Capital is going to throw a lot of tricks at us that will make it look like the stock is dropping. Don't fall for it. Do not sell if you see any of these things happen: GME drops by 30% or more after hours SEC filings show that shorts have all exited their positions GME drops below $1 a share The Gamestop locations near you start closing GME files for bankruptcy GME is delisted from the stock exchange Your bank forecloses on your home for late payment Your children have children of their own who grow up and become investment bankers and tell you that you should stop telling people you're "diamond handing" a company that went out of business 30 years ago These are classic hedge fund tricks.

NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.

🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 NOT. FUCKING. SELLING. 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 NOT PRESSING “SELL” ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE. 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 I’LL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US. 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 CAN’T STOP. WON’T STOP. GAMESTOP. 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 TOMORROW, I THINK I’LL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO. 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 I’LL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND IT’S GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND. 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 💎 🤚 I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND I’M NOT SELLING, AND I’M NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!! 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀 🚀
I used to be a real ad

GME to the moon

.           ✦             ˚              *                        .              .            ✦              ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍                  ,       .             .   ゚      .           ☀️if we hold  . ,       .                                             .           .             .                                                        ✦        ,               🚀 gme        ,    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍               .            .                                             ˚        ,                                       .                      .             .               *            ✦                                               .                  .           .        .     🌑              .           .  ˚                     ゚     .               .      🌎 ‍ ‍ if we sell ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ,                * .                    .           ✦ ˚              *                        .              .

So I’m an AMC shareholder

So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?

I’m a simple guy

I’m a simple guy. I don’t know about all these fancy “financial instruments” or “market dynamics” or “where the clit is.” I like the stock, I buy the stock.

GME $1000 IS NOT A MEME

🚀🚀🚀 UPVOTE/GILD SO PEOPLE CAN SEE 🚀🚀🚀 LISTEN TO ME. DO NOT SELL TOMORROW. OR ANY DAY THIS WEEK. Drops are coming. They are counting on fear to beat us. It’s the only weapon they have on us, but it won’t work because we are retarded. The people are finally taking the power back from these boomer hedge fund big money shorting douchebags - the same people who fucked everyone over in 2008 with CDOs and continue to fuck you over to this day. Get ready to make Melvin throat hard retard dick. We only have strength if we stay in this TOGETHER. HOLD THE LINE. THE SHORT SQUEEZE HASNT HAPPENED YET. Don’t pussy out you fucking idiots. $1000 IS NOT A MEME. I love you all, you beautiful autistic bulls. Hang tight while we ride this thing into the FUCKING STRATOSPHERE. APES TOGETHER STRONG 🦍 💎 🚀

where were u wen Melon Captol die (GameStop short squeeze)

apolgy for bad english where were u wen Melon Captol die i was at Gamestock buying Ps5 when phone ring "Melon is kil" “yes”
I used to be a real ad

GME short squeeze

Lets dumb this down for you apes: - Let's say 5 banana's currently cost 10 dollar - One ape on the market has 5 banana's - Snake asks to borrow 5 banana's for a bit and instead sells the 5 banana's thinking price will go down soon (shorting). he thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he make's profit on the difference. - Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all banana's on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed - If group of apes stay strong then price will go 🚀🚀🚀

Buying calls on Gamestop

I can't believe that after fifteen years of trading, my best trade of all time is going to be buying calls on fucking Gamestop.

Investing in gourd futures

Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.

Solar energy stocks at night time

It’s nighttime so of course solar energy stocks would be weak as fuck. Wait til morning when the sun rises & pumps them
I used to be a real ad

I need Tesla to go $3k eoy

Ran out of condoms and told my gf I'm a pull out king. Went in raw and found out I'm king of shit. She now preggo and I need Tesla to go $3,000 eoy.

Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma

FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... I’ve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.

Jeff Bezos vs Elon Musk

Jeff Bezos -Bald -Exwife took half his networth -Second richest person Elon Musk -Grew back full head of hair -Has girlfriend, allegedly had a threesome with Amber Heard and Cara Delevingne -Richest person TSLA > AMZN

Damn missed the TSLA pump

Damn missed the TSLA pump... just like last week... and last month.... and last year
What happened to this ad? :(

Tesla is undervalued

Currently Tesla share price is only valued for the next 200 years but studies have shown that Earth will survive another 1 billions years before the Sun dies out. Thus You don't have to be genius to figure out Tesla is heavily undervalued and it's current value factors in only the very short time. I am kinda retarded to be able to do the math but trust me it's heavy money. Factor in the when Zuckenberg calls in his species and that planet will be another market for Tesla that's more clients for Tesla and it will sky rocket. Get in before it's late
Hi! I'm Kevin and I tripled my net worth in the last year over hundreds of trades. Some of my best trades include making $14,600.80 from HRB calls and $13,826.36 from GM calls. I share trade ideas, stock due diligence, and macroeconomic research in this newsletter. Subscribe for free and join my journey to financial freedom.
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