[Copypasta] WSB Choose your fighter

Choose your fighter Alex Magikarp ๐ŸŸ Elon TechnoCuckLord ๐Ÿค–+๐Ÿคด Jeff Divorcedzos ๐Ÿ’” Salmonella ๐Ÿ” Nutella ๐Ÿซ Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman ๐Ÿคก Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya ๐Ÿˆ Ryan Cocken your butthole ๐Ÿฅ’๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ˜ณ ๐Ÿฅ’ Z ๐Ÿฅ’ U ๐Ÿฅ’ C ๐Ÿฅ’ C ๐Ÿฅ’ Tim ๐ŸŽ Bottom ๐Ÿ…ฑ๏ธENIS Jack Ma MIA ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the ๐Ÿปs' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods ๐Ÿ™โœ๏ธ
March 2021

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
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Anyone basing trades right now on fundamentals is a fucking tool

So many arrogant fucks here love talking fundamental analysis when they can't even tell me if lilโ€™ Yachty got another Ferrari much less how stuffed the fucking Oreos are now. Fucking clowns, all of them. Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a valuation multiple you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not, you deserve CHGG. Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade gourd futures you know about and feel with your hands that it hasn't been spotted by any number of fungal pathogens in the complex ecology of modern supply chains. Or alternatively manipulate markets like the rich investors who funnel you into silver every fucking time like clockwork. Warren Buffet's dad was Paul Revere, if you think that shit didn't help The Wizard of Omaha then not only are you retarded but also delusional. Now stfu about EBITDA and long term debt-to-equity ratios. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in r/lounge with a fat chick, not on wsb posting "anyone basing trades right now on technical analysis is fucking tool.โ€
February 2022

WallStreetBets

Stonks only go up. But you don't.

You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheโ€™s humming a song you canโ€™t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you. She turns. โ€œWhat do you want for Christmas?โ€ You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. โ€œNothing, really.โ€ โ€œNothing?โ€ She crawls into bed and touches your leg. โ€œAre you sure?โ€ Again, you wonder why this person chose you. As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyโ€™ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong?โ€ Stonks only go up. But you donโ€™t.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

bears are fuk

I hate people saying bears are fuk or bulls are fuk. Stop saying that. It's very rude. Just say bears are fuk
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Daily WSB trader routine

1. Wake up 2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls 3. Shit while looking at charts, donโ€™t wipe 4. Fomo and buy the top 5. Watch stock Plummet 6. Sell, watch stock go up 7. Go to WSB and downvote everything 8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are 9. Stare at futures for 3 hours 10. Sleep & repeat
December 2020

WallStreetBets

game of doctor

when i was like 12 my neighbor invited me over and we played a game called โ€œdoctorโ€ basically he took his pants off got fully erect and asked me to examine it. donโ€™t even remember what happened after that. anyways BFT to the moon
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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