[Copypasta] WSB Choose your fighter

It's called empathy

Sometimes watching porn I like to pretend I'm the "woman" it's called empathy not homosexuality.

April 2021

Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.

February 2021

We can't blame market

To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.

March 2021

My wife told me to talk dirty to her

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut. She said “dirtier!” So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is. She said “dirtier!” So I said “I’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.” She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.

April 2021

WallStreetBets

So I’m an AMC shareholder

So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?

January 2021

[Copypasta] WSB Choose your fighter

WallStreetBets

WallStreetBets

It's called empathy

WallStreetBets

Red futures :(

WallStreetBets

We can't blame market

WallStreetBets

My wife told me to talk dirty to her

WallStreetBets

So I’m an AMC shareholder

WallStreetBets

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