[Copypasta] WSB Buy $COCK

Buy $COCK. I heard WSB is buying $COCK and $COCK IS THE NEXT BIG THING. $COCK IS RISING TODAY. Do your own DD on $COCK and let me know how much you like $COCK. ๐Ÿ’ŽโœŠ your ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€ $COCK to the ๐ŸŒ‘
February 2021

WallStreetBets

What happened to this ad? :(
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Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Genetics is the future

I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers. Genetics is the future.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Careful bulls, dangerous things past the moon

Careful tomorrow bulls, there are dangerous things past the moon. โœจ .-' `'. โœจ / \ . โ˜€๏ธ โ˜€๏ธ | ; โœจ | | ___.--, _.._ |0) ~ (0) | _.---'`__.-( (_. โœจ __.--'`_.. '.__.\ '--. \_.-' ,.--'` `""` ( ,.--'` ',__ /./; ;, '.__.'` __ _`) ) .---.__.' / | |\ \__..--"" """--.,_ . โ˜€๏ธ `---' .'.''-._.-'`_./ /\ '. \ _.-~~~````~~~-._`-.__.' | | .' _.-' | | \ \ '. `~---` โœจ \ \/ .' \ \ '. '-._) โœจ โœจ \/ / \ \ `=.__`~-. jgs / /\ `) ) / / `"".`\ , _.-'.'\ \ / / ( ( / / . โ˜€๏ธ `--~` ) ) .-'.' '.'. | ( (/` ( (` ) ) '-; ` '-; (-' โœจ โœจ โœจ โ˜€๏ธ ๐Ÿš€ <--- BULLS โœจ โ˜€๏ธ โœจ ๐ŸŒ™ โ˜€๏ธ โ˜€๏ธ โ˜€๏ธ โœจ ๐ŸŒŽ โœจ ๐ŸŒ โ˜€๏ธ โœจ โœจ
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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