Our government is so kind and caring for us. Waits till the very last minute to finally pass something and gives us $600 which should last us for at least 5 months. God bless this country
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Holding Galactic Virgins
Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces itβs changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution.
Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
WallStreetBets
We should buy Reddit
We should buy Reddit.
Not the stock. The actual company.
If we all get together and own 51% then we will own this entire website.
We could make the rules, profit from the advertising, and finally get paid for the memes we make.
I've even come up with a list of things we could do as new owners:
Reddit mods can apply for paid-internships at Reddit. This is much closer to having a real job than what they currently do and would benefit the organization.
Your flair is your official title at the company. IE: instead of "CFO" you'll be "PotatoFart"
NSFW posts will receive special protections--and if you happen to work in our new skyscraper then NSFW posts are automatically considered SFW.
Everyone gets a turn in the corporate jet.
Elon becomes a mod. He can also apply to become a paid intern.
We have a monthly party on our company yacht: The S.S. VisualMod.
Our corporate cafeteria is a dining hall with fast food restaurants along the side--but they're all Wendy's.
I think this is a great idea.
Keep it high and tight.
ππππππ
WallStreetBets
Kelly Loeffler after Georgia senate election
Kelly Loeffler I know you're at home right now feeling a little sad. And now you're in bed browsing WSB looking for hot stock tips with maybe a few laughs. But just know this: I will have sex with you. DM me.
WallStreetBets
HODL
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WallStreetBets
MSFT Infinite Money Glitch πππ
Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor.
Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good βol WSB days?
Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies π
Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle.
Step 1: Use Wifeβs Tinder Account
Step 2: Match with Bill Gates
Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup
Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty
Step 5: Continue to date wife
Step 6: Cash out πππ
For those too retarded to read:
https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57
Congratulations. You are now your own wifeβs boyfriend.