Our government is so kind and caring for us. Waits till the very last minute to finally pass something and gives us $600 which should last us for at least 5 months. God bless this country
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Darth Bearish the Regarded
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. Itβs not a story any bull would tell you.
Itβs an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profits⦠He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearish⦠the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise
WallStreetBets
GME to the moon
.γγγγγγγγγγ β¦ γγγγββ γ γγγΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*γγγγγγβ
βγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ. γγβγγγγγγγ β¦
γγγγγγγγγγ γ β β β β γγγγ γγγγγγγγγγγγ,γγβββγ
.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγοΎγββγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγβοΈif we holdγγ.
,γγγγγγγ.γγγγγγββββγγγγ γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβ
γγγγγγγγγγ. γγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγβββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγβββ β¦
γβββγγγ,γγγγγγγγγγγββββπ gme γγγγ γγ,γγγ β β β β γ
γγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγβγγ
γγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγβγβββββββββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγΛγ
ββγγγγ,γγγγγγγγγγγβββββββγββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγ
βγγββββγγγγγβγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*
γγ ββγγγγγ β¦ γγγγγγγβββββββββγββββββββγγγγ
γγβγγγγγγγβγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγββββγγ.
γβγγγγγ.γγγγ π γγγγγβββγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγ.γ
ΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγοΎγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
γγβγ π β β if we sell β β β β β β β ,γ γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*
.γγγγγβγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγ β¦
Λγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*γγγγγγβ
βγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
WallStreetBets
Classic
Little dribble drop
You guys ever like hustle your pee too quickly and pull your dick in faster than youβre done shaking? Then you have that little dribble drop that goes onto your leg. Itβs only a drop. But you fucking feel it. Sprawling down your thigh. Making its presence known and ruining whatever plans you just had.
Just happened. The fucking worst.
WallStreetBets
Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor
Just heard an employee use the βF wordβ on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but donβt you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
WallStreetBets
Investing in gourd futures
Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.