[Copypasta] Can you guys critique my portfolio? New investor looking for guidance

Not sure if this is the best place to post this but I just inherited 1.5M from my distant uncle and want to make him proud. Right now my portfolio I have: 10% LUCK 20% SKLZ 15% CPW 5% PLTR 50% PAIN and 100% R.TO (RTN) is this an ok for a beginner looking for conservative annual 37% gains?
March 2021

WallStreetBets

What happened to this ad? :(
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GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyโ€˜re trading/Iโ€˜m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donโ€˜t exactly know whatโ€˜s going on, itโ€˜s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is โ€žtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketโ€œ. They are โ€žaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEโ€œ. They acted as if GME was some โ€žchildish financial playgroundโ€œ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how โ€žGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeโ€œ. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks ๐Ÿ“Š๐Ÿ“ go up ๐Ÿ“ˆ๐Ÿ’ธ, my dick goes too ๐Ÿ†โฌ†๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ. Bullish ๐Ÿ‚ market ๐Ÿฌ makes me hard ๐Ÿฆด๐Ÿ’ฆ. All the countries ๐Ÿณ๏ธ๐Ÿด๐Ÿดโ€โ˜ ๏ธ๐Ÿ๐Ÿšฉ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€โšง๏ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ณ try to recover ๐Ÿ”„ from corona ๐Ÿฆ  so the money ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ธ flows ๐ŸŒฌ into my pocket ๐Ÿ’ณ. Soon ๐Ÿ”œ there will be a crash ๐Ÿ“‰๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜– and the bears ๐Ÿป will crawl ๐Ÿšผ out of their holes ๐Ÿ•ณ. Then they cut off my greedy dick โœ‚๏ธ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿฉธ if I donโ€™t โŒ eat โ€™em out ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ˜ธ. I must turn into a bear ๐Ÿ‚โžก๏ธ๐Ÿป and make ๐ŸคŒ๐Ÿผ more money ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ธ and eat some honey ๐Ÿป๐Ÿฏ. When Iโ€™m done โœ… Iโ€™ll throw a party ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿท๐Ÿพ and eat your ass ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ‘.
October 2021

Emoji Pasta

WallStreetBets

So Iโ€™m an AMC shareholder

So Iโ€™m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I canโ€™t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now Iโ€™m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

WallStreetBets

If PLTR hits 35 today

If PLTR hits 35 today I will wipe with quarter ply toilet paper and accidentally discover myself
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Can you guys critique my portfolio? New investor looking for guidance

Not sure if this is the best place to post this but I just inherited 1.5M from my distant uncle and want to make him proud. Right now my portfolio I have: 10% LUCK 20% SKLZ 15% CPW 5% PLTR 50% PAIN and 100% R.TO (RTN) is this an ok for a beginner looking for conservative annual 37% gains?
March 2021

WallStreetBets

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