[Copypasta] I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do

I couldn’t tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe I’m jacked to the mf’ing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MF’ER.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/k1zap5/daily_discussion_thread_for_november_27_2020/gdrhytv
I used to be a real ad
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I’m a simple guy

I’m a simple guy. I don’t know about all these fancy “financial instruments” or “market dynamics” or “where the clit is.” I like the stock, I buy the stock.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Bullish market makes me hard

When the stocks 📊📝 go up 📈💸, my dick goes too 🍆⬆️😳. Bullish 🐂 market 🏬 makes me hard 🦴💦. All the countries 🏳️🏴🏴‍☠️🏁🚩🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇺🇳 try to recover 🔄 from corona 🦠 so the money 💰💵💸 flows 🌬 into my pocket 💳. Soon 🔜 there will be a crash 📉😭🥺😖 and the bears 🐻 will crawl 🚼 out of their holes 🕳. Then they cut off my greedy dick ✂️🍆🩸 if I don’t ❌ eat ’em out 👅😸. I must turn into a bear 🐂➡️🐻 and make 🤌🏼 more money 💰💵💸 and eat some honey 🐻🍯. When I’m done ✅ I’ll throw a party 🎉🍷🍾 and eat your ass 👅🍑.
October 2021

Emoji Pasta

WallStreetBets

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading

Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Ape rocket

💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀💎💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🐵🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀💎 💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎🍌🍌🍌💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🍌💎💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
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April 2021

WallStreetBets

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