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  • 109
    109
    twitchquotes: My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.
  • 175
    175
    twitchquotes: To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
  • (ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL AD (ง •̀_•́)ง
  • 33
    33
    twitchquotes: Tired of Weebs? No problem! Here at Weeb Deflectors™ we can shield your Twitch chat Queue from incoming Weebs with our new patent-pending WeebShield™ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming Weebs right back to the dark place they came from (definitely not HEARTHSTONE), causing them to effectively Spread their disease called anime to themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
  • 47
    47
    twitchquotes: ⧹╲⎝⧹ PunOko ⎠╱⧸⎠ Squid1 Squid3 Squid2 Squid4 YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN! ⧹╲⎝⧹ PunOko ⎠╱⧸⎠
  • 214
    214
    twitchquotes: ░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█ ░░█░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░█ ░█░░░(◐)░░▄█▄░░(◐)░░░░█ ░░▀█▄▄▄▄█▀░▀█▄▄▄▄▄█▀ ░░░░░░░░░░░▌░░░░▄███████▄ ░░░░░░░░░░▐░░░░▐███████████▄ ░░░le░░░░░░▐░░░░▐█████████████▄ ░░boobhead░░░░▀▄░░░▐██████████████▄ ░░░░has░░░░░░░▀▄▄████████████████▄ ░░░arrived░░░░░░░░░░░█▀██████
  • 44
    44
    twitchquotes: EMOJI TEST 💯 IF YOU TOUCH THE EMOJI, OMFG LMFAO LOL XD ⎝ 😆
  • 62
    62
    twitchquotes: Hello Octavian Kripparrian, Marvel Future Fight devs here. We have noticed you have used our "Auto-Play" functionality extensively today, with much better results than when you played the game yourself. Because of this success, we are happy to announce another brand-new feature: "Auto-Pay". We have seen you spend a large amount of time inefficiently upgrading your character, and this time is better spent Auto-Playing. Please click the "Auto-Pay" button, and let your Credit Card do the work!
  • (ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL AD (ง •̀_•́)ง
  • 75
    75
    twitchquotes: My daughter was born with a hearing impairment than ultimately left her deaf shortly after birth. I have been working for years to pay for a new surgery that would allow her to hear again. Today was her 8th birthday and I managed to get her what she's always wanted for her birthday, the sense of hearing. I decided to let her listen in on what Daddy has been watching late at night and I turn on your stream and what do I hear? Silence. Now she's crying thinking she's deaf again, Nice job Kripp.
  • 39
    39
    twitchquotes: monkaS 👉 📉 q-qt, I charted your LP for the last month...
  • 76
    76
    twitchquotes: Hey Imaqtpie! Thanks for the quality stream. I'm watching with my son and you have become his mentor. He is going into baseball so he's learning how to throw like a pro from you! Thanks again!
  • 112
    112
    twitchquotes: (ง ͠ ͠° ل͜ °)ง ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴsᴇᴇɴ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟɪᴇsᴛ (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง
  • 78
    78
    twitchquotes: The year is 2050, league is played by less than 100 people. Qt has finally reached rank one, "Lisha I did it!" he yells excitedly. The sound echoes through the empty mansion. Lisha left long ago...
  • 361
    361
    twitchquotes: ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▒▄█▀▀░░░░░░▀▀█▄▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▄█▀▄██▄░░░░░░░░▀█▄▒▒▒ ▒▒█▀░▀░░▄▀░░░░▄▀▀▀▀░▀█▒▒ ▒█▀░░░░███░░░░▄█▄░░░░▀█▒ ▒█░░░░░░▀░░░░░▀█▀░░░░░█▒ ▒█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▒ ▒█░░██▄░░▀▀▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░█▒ ▒▀█░█░█░░░▄▄▄▄▄░░░░░░█▀▒ ▒▒▀█▀░▀▀▀▀░▄▄▄▀░░░░▄█▀▒▒ ▒▒▒█░░░░░░▀█░░░░░▄█▀▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒█▄░░░░░▀█▄▄▄█▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒ ▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
  • 125
    125
    twitchquotes: Leeroy Jenkins created a strategy that revolved around trying to defeat your opponent in one turn without requiring any cards on the board. Fighting for board control and battles between minions make an overall game of Hearthstone more fun and compelling, but taking 20+ damage in one turn is not particularly fun or interactive.
  • (ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL AD (ง •̀_•́)ง
  • 53
    53
    twitchquotes: No job ✔️ 4Head No girlfriend ✔️ 4Head No friends ✔️ 4Head No talents ✔️ 4Head Wasting time on Twitch ✔️ 4Head Must be me 4Head
  • 607
    607
    twitchquotes: 🐢 SLOW AND STEADY 🐢 WINS THE RACE 🐢 MODS CAN'T BAN ME 🐢 AT THIS PACE 🐢
  • 1290
    1290
    twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
  • 694
    694
    twitchquotes: Doublelift fired up his stream for another day of soloQ, but foolishly forgot to check if Imaqtpie was in a game. He opened up QT’s stream to find him sitting in queue… He frantically began tabbing between his client and QT’s stream, then one after the other… both queues popped. “I need the toilet” he said to his chat. He ran to the wall and unplugged his internet. He was safe for another day.
  • 469
    469
    twitchquotes: Wow great game!! PogChamp PogChamp (remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat, your $1 has been sent to your Paypal account, Bethesda)
  • (ง •̀_•́)ง ONE DAY I'LL BE A REAL AD (ง •̀_•́)ง
  • 927
    927
    twitchquotes: Hey Moon, I'm currently watching the stream with my 5 year old son, now I don't mind all the cursing but can you please stop feeding? I don't want my son to learn how to suck at video games
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