Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
What if I put my Minecraft bed next to yours?
twitchquotes:
What if I... put my Minecraft bed... ๐ณ next to yours... ๐ณ aha ha, just kidding.. ๐ unless.. ? ๐ณ
twitch chat
Classic
Kripp can't beat anyone
twitchquotes:
My dad beats me 
My mom beats me My brother beats me My sister beats me At least I feel safe with Kripp, because he can't beat anyone 
My mom beats me My brother beats me My sister beats me At least I feel safe with Kripp, because he can't beat anyone
twitch chat
Kripp
Classic
Lenny face brick wall
EU COMING THROUGH v2
twitchquotes:
EU COMING THROUGH 
TRY AND EXTERMINATE A GROUP OF PEOPLE NEEDS AMERICA TO SAVE THEM STILL HAS A ROYAL FAMILY SOCIALISTS NO FREE SPEECH MARRY 16 YEAR OLDS STABBINGS IN EU
TRY AND EXTERMINATE A GROUP OF PEOPLE NEEDS AMERICA TO SAVE THEM STILL HAS A ROYAL FAMILY SOCIALISTS NO FREE SPEECH MARRY 16 YEAR OLDS STABBINGS IN EU
twitch chat
Classic
EU vs NA
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.