Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.
I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas
Based? Based on what?
Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly
Classic
Based
Think you can beat me?
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠒⠂⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⣰⣶⣦⡈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄THINK
⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣖⣿⣷⣴⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄YOU
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⠛⠩⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄CAN
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡏⠉⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄BEAT
⠄⠄⢀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠺⡇⠄⢵⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ME
⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠄⣷⣀⠈⠙⠛⠑⠄⠄⠄⠄1,2,3?
⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⠹⣿⣿⣿⡦⠄⠹⢿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢰⣤⣀⣀⣠⣔⢰⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡈⠄⠄⠄
⢠⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢸⡆⠄⠐⠄⢸⣿⣌⠄⠄
⢸⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⢿⡤⠄⠈⠄⠄⢀⠄⢰⣿⣿⡄⠄
⠈⢿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⣿⣷⣦⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠘⢿⣿⡇⠄
⠄⠈⠻⣿⣇⠠⠄⢀⡉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡆⠄⠄⠘⣿⡇⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⢀⣿⣿⢷⣶⣶⣶⣾⢟⣾⣄⠄⡴⣿⡀⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣧⣝⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⠇⢸⣿⣿⡎⡡⠋⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣝⠛⠋⠁⣿⣿⡎⢠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⠁⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄
Classic
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Classic
WallStreetBets
OVERCLOWNFIDENCE
NaM octopus
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡀⠄⠄⠙⢾⢽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⠩⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠭⣿⣿⣿⣯⠭⣄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣐⣀⡘⠹⣿⣐⣤⣼⡄⠈⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠰⣿⣿⠃⢨⣏⣻⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⠄⡄⣿⠛⠄⠠⢥⠛⢿⣿⡇⢼⣣⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⡿⣣⡶⠬⡛⠛⠃⠙⠉⠄⡀⣤⣳⣶⢘⡡⠴⣾⣶⡦⠬⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⠄⠄⣠⡄⠄⠄⣀⣤⡶⠶⣶⣦⢤⣿⣿⢷⠃⡀⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⢾⢿⣬⣤⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⢿⣯⣷⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠁⠄⠈⠙⢷⡄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠁⠈⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⣷⣶⣄⢂⠄⠄⠄⣼⠇
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⡿⠟⢫⣿⡟⠞⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣷⣍⠛⠛⠉⠄
⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣠⣾⣟⣉⣤⣶⡿⠋⠄⠄⠘⢿⣷⣄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠘⢿⣆⠄⠄⠄
⢀⣾⠛⢛⡋⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⢷⣾⡉⠄⠄⠄
⠘⢿⣤⡟⠁⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡴⠄⠁⢻⣷⠄⠄⠄
⢐⢀⠟⠒⠘⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⣄⣠⡾⠃⠄⠄⠄
⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄