What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
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High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
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How do I get my husband to stop going āGoblin Modeā during sex?
How do I get my husband to stop going āGoblin Modeā during sex?
TLDR; My husband says āGoblin Mode activatedā when we start to have sex, growls and acts like a caveman, and then says āGoblin Mode offā when we stop, and then pretends not to remember afterward.
I really love my husband and heās always been great in bed. But recently heās been acting really weird. So, a couple of days ago, my son went on a rampage through our house and said he was in āGoblin Modeā. We didnāt really know what to do with him, so we sent him to live with my parents so he can go to a special needs school. My husband a really great relationship with our son and loved him more than anything. Naturally, he was upset when he had to leave. Heās an incredibly tough man, but this was the first time Iāve ever seen him cry. I think since then, heās been a little emotionally unwell. Iāve heard him muttering, āGoblinā repeatedly when he didnāt notice me, staring blankly into his food, and just going alone by himself to do who knows what. I feel awful for him, but we both agreed that this was for the best. Last night, the day after our son went away, we decided to have sex to relieve our stress. However, my husband said āGoblin Mode activatedā, starting growling, and went wild having sex with me. Admittedly, it was some of the best and most experimental sex Iāve ever had, but Iām worried that something might be going on with my husband. Any advice?
Edit: The problem isnāt the āGoblin Modeā, itās that he could be ill
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If youāre reading this, youāve been in coma for almost 20 years now. Weāre trying a new technique. We donāt know where this message will end up in your dream, but we hope it works. Please wake up, we miss you.
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